LEAR Ha, ha, ha!

FOOL Shalt see thy other daughter will use thee kindly, for though she’s as like this as a crab is like an apple, yet I con what I can tell.

LEAR Why, what canst thou tell, my boy?

FOOL Why, to keep his eyes on either side ’s nose, that what a man cannot smell out, a may spy into.

LEAR I did her wrong.

FOOL Canst tell how an oyster makes his shell?

LEAR No.

FOOL Nor I neither; but I can tell why a snail has a house.

LEAR Why?

FOOL Why, to put his head in, not to give it away to his daughter and leave his horns without a case.

LEAR

I will forget my nature. So kind a father!

Be my horses ready?

FOOL Thy asses are gone about them. The reason why the seven stars are no more than seven is a pretty reason.

LEAR Because they are not eight.

FOOL Yes. Thou wouldst make a good fool.

LEAR

To take’t again perforce—monster ingratitude!

FOOL If thou wert my fool, nuncle, I’d have thee beaten for being old before thy time.

LEAR How’s that?

FOOL Thou shouldst not have been old before thou hadst been wise.

LEAR

O, let me not be mad, sweet heaven!

I would not be mad.

Keep me in temper. I would not be mad.

Enter a Servant

Are the horses ready?

SERVANT Ready, my lord.

LEAR (to Fool) Come, boy. Exeunt Lear and Servant

FOOL

She that is maid now, and laughs at my departure,

Shall not be a maid long, except things be cut shorter.

Exit

Sc. 6 Enter Edmund the bastard, and Curan, meeting

EDMUND Save thee, Curan.

CURAN And you, sir. I have been with your father, and given him notice that the Duke of Cornwall and his duchess will be here with him tonight.

EDMUND How comes that?

CURAN Nay, I know not. You have heard of the news abroad?—I mean the whispered ones, for there are yet but ear-bussing arguments.

EDMUND Not. I pray you, what are they?

CURAN Have you heard of no likely wars towards twixt the two Dukes of Cornwall and Albany?

EDMUND Not a word.

CURAN You may then in time. Fare you well, sir.

Exit

EDMUND

The Duke be here tonight! The better, best.

This weaves itself perforce into my business.

⌈Enter Edgar at a window above⌉

My father hath set guard to take my brother,

And I have one thing of a queasy question

Which must ask briefness. Wit and fortune help!—

Brother, a word. Descend, brother, I say.

⌈Edgar climbs down

My father watches. O, fly this place.

Intelligence is given where you are hid.

You have now the good advantage of the night.

Have you not spoken ‘gainst the Duke of Cornwall

aught?

He’s coming hither now, in the night, i’th’ haste,

And Regan with him. Have you nothing said

Upon his party against the Duke of Albany?

Advise you—

EDGAR I am sure on’t, not a word.

EDMUND

I hear my father coming. Pardon me.

In cunning I must draw my sword upon you.

Seem to defend yourself. Now, quit you well.

(Calling) Yield, come before my father. Light here,

here!

(To Edgar) Fly, brother, fly! (Calling) Torches, torches!

(To Edgar) So, farewell.

Exit Edgar

Some blood drawn on me would beget opinion

Of my more fierce endeavour.

He wounds his arm

I have seen

Drunkards do more than this in sport. (Calling) Father,

father!

Stop, stop! Ho, help!

Enter the Duke of Gloucester ⌈and others⌉

GLOUCESTER Now, Edmund, where is the villain?

EDMUND

Here stood he in the dark, his sharp sword out,

Warbling of wicked charms, conjuring the moon

To stand ’s auspicious mistress.

GLOUCESTER But where is he?

EDMUND

Look, sir, I bleed.

GLOUCESTER Where is the villain, Edmund?

EDMUND

Fled this way, sir, when by no means he could—

GLOUCESTER

Pursue him, go after.

Exeunt others

By no means what?

EDMUND

Persuade me to the murder of your lordship,

But that I told him the revengive gods

’Gainst parricides did all their thunders bend,

Spoke with how manifold and strong a bond

The child was bound to the father. Sir, in fine,

Seeing how loathly opposite I stood

To his unnatural purpose, with fell motion,

With his prepared sword he charges home

My unprovided body, lanced mine arm;

But when he saw my best alarumed spirits

Bold in the quarrel’s rights, roused to the encounter,

Or whether ghasted by the noise I made

Or ⌈ ⌉ I know not,

But suddenly he fled.

GLOUCESTER Let him fly far,

Not in this land shall he remain uncaught,

And found, dispatch. The noble Duke my master,

My worthy arch and patron, comes tonight.

By his authority I will proclaim it

That he which finds him shall deserve our thanks,

Bringing the murderous caitiff to the stake;

He that conceals him, death.

EDMUND

When I dissuaded him from his intent

And found him pitched to do it, with curst speech

I threatened to discover him. He replied,

‘Thou unpossessing bastard, dost thou think

If I would stand against thee, could the reposure

Of any trust, virtue, or worth in thee

Make thy words faithed? No, what I should deny—

As this I would, ay, though thou didst produce

My very character—I’d turn it all

To thy suggestion, plot, and damned pretence,

And thou must make a dullard of the world

If they not thought the profits of my death

Were very pregnant and potential spurs

To make thee seek it.’