VINCENTIO Lucentio? O, he hath murdered his master! Lay hold on him, I charge you, in the Duke’s name. O my son, my son! Tell me, thou villain, where is my son Lucentio?
TRANIO Call forth an officer.
Enter an Officer
Carry this mad knave to the jail. Father Baptista, I
charge you see that he be forthcoming.
VINCENTIO Carry me to the jail?
GREMIO Stay, officer, he shall not go to prison.
BAPTISTA Talk not, Signor Gremio. I say he shall go to prison.
GREMIO Take heed, Signor Baptista, lest you be cony-catched in this business. I dare swear this is the right Vincentio.
PEDANT Swear if thou dar’st.
GREMIO Nay, I dare not swear it.
TRANIO Then thou wert best say that I am not Lucentio.
GREMIO Yes, I know thee to be Signor Lucentio.
BAPTISTA Away with the dotard. To the jail with him.
Enter Biondello, Lucentio, and Bianca
VINCENTIO Thus strangers may be haled and abused. O monstrous villain!
BIONDELLO O, we are spoiled and—yonder he is. Deny him, forswear him, or else we are all undone.
Exeunt Biondello, Tranio, and Pedant, as fast as may be
LUCENTIO (to Vincentio) Pardon, sweet father.
He kneels
VINCENTIO Lives my sweet son?
BIANCA (to Baptista) Pardon, dear father.
BAPTISTA
How hast thou offended? Where is Lucentio?
LUCENTIO
Here’s Lucentio, right son to the right Vincentio,
That have by marriage made thy daughter mine,
While counterfeit supposes bleared thine eyne.
GREMIO
Here’s packing with a witness, to deceive us all.
VINCENTIO
Where is that damned villain Tranio,
That faced and braved me in this matter so?
BAPTISTA
Why, tell me, is not this my Cambio?
BIANCA
Cambio is changed into Lucentio.
LUCENTIO
Love wrought these miracles. Bianca’s love
Made me exchange my state with Tranio
While he did bear my countenance in the town,
And happily I have arrived at the last
Unto the wished haven of my bliss.
What Tranio did, myself enforced him to.
Then pardon him, sweet father, for my sake.
VINCENTIO I’ll slit the villain’s nose that would have sent me to the jail.
BAPTISTA But do you hear, sir, have you married my daughter without asking my good will? 125
VINCENTIO Fear not, Baptista. We will content you. Go to, but I will in to be revenged for this villainy.
Exit
BAPTISTA And I to sound the depth of this knavery. Exit
LUCENTIO Look not pale, Bianca. Thy father will not frown.
Exeunt Lucentio and Bianca
GREMIO
My cake is dough, but I’ll in among the rest,
Out of hope of all but my share of the feast.
Exit
KATHERINE (coming forward) Husband, let’s follow to see the end of this ado.
PETRUCCIO First kiss me, Kate, and we will.
KATHERINE What, in the midst of the street?
PETRUCCIO What, art thou ashamed of me?
KATHERINE No, sir, God forbid; but ashamed to kiss.
PETRUCCIO
Why then, let’s home again. Come sirrah, let’s away.
KATHERINE
Nay, I will give thee a kiss. Now pray thee love, stay. They kiss
PETRUCCIO
Is not this well? Come, my sweet Kate.
Better once than never, for never too late.
Exeunt
5.2 Enter Baptista, Vincentio, Gremio, the Pedant, Lucentio and Bianca, Petruccio, Katherine, and Hortensio, Tranio, Biondello, Grumio, and the Widow, the servingmen with Tranio bringing in a banquet
LUCENTIO
At last, though long, our jarring notes agree,
And time it is when raging war is done
To smile at scapes and perils overblown.
My fair Bianca, bid my father welcome,
While I with selfsame kindness welcome thine.
Brother Petruccio, sister Katherina,
And thou, Hortensio, with thy loving widow,
Feast with the best, and welcome to my house.
My banquet is to close our stomachs up
After our great good cheer. Pray you, sit down,
For now we sit to chat as well as eat.
They sit
PETRUCCIO
Nothing but sit, and sit, and eat, and eat.
BAPTISTA
Padua affords this kindness, son Petruccio.
PETRUCCIO
Padua affords nothing but what is kind.
HORTENSIO
For both our sakes I would that word were true. 15
PETRUCCIO
Now, for my life, Hortensio fears his widow.
WIDOW
Then never trust me if I be afeard.
PETRUCCIO
You are very sensible, and yet you miss my sense.
I mean Hortensio is afeard of you.
WIDOW
He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.
PETRUCCIO Roundly replied.
KATHERINE Mistress, how mean you that?
WIDOW Thus I conceive by him.
PETRUCCIO
Conceives by me! How likes Hortensio that?
HORTENSIO
My widow says thus she conceives her tale.
PETRUCCIO Very well mended. Kiss him for that, good widow.
KATHERINE
‘He that is giddy thinks the world turns round’—
I pray you tell me what you meant by that.
WIDOW
Your husband, being troubled with a shrew,
Measures my husband’s sorrow by his woe.
And now you know my meaning.
KATHERINE
A very mean meaning.
WIDOW
Right, I mean you.
KATHERINE
And I am mean indeed respecting you.
PETRUCCIO To her, Kate!
HORTENSIO To her, widow!
PETRUCCIO
A hundred marks my Kate does put her down.
HORTENSIO That’s my office.
PETRUCCIO
Spoke like an officer! Ha’ to thee, lad.
He drinks to Hortensio
BAPTISTA
How likes Gremio these quick-witted folks?
GREMIO
Believe me, sir, they butt together well.
BIANCA
Head and butt? An hasty-witted body
Would say your head and butt were head and horn.
VINCENTIO
Ay, mistress bride, hath that awakened you?
BIANCA
Ay, but not frighted me, therefore I’ll sleep again.
PETRUCCIO
Nay, that you shall not. Since you have begun,
Have at you for a better jest or two.
BIANCA
Am I your bird? I mean to shift my bush,
And then pursue me as you draw your bow.
You are welcome all.
Exit Bianca with Katherine and the Widow
PETRUCCIO
She hath prevented me here, Signor Tranio.
This bird you aimed at, though you hit her not.
Therefore a health to all that shot and missed.
TRANIO
O sir, Lucentio slipped me like his greyhound,
Which runs himself and catches for his master.
PETRUCCIO
A good swift simile, but something currish.
TRANIO
‘Tis well, sir, that you hunted for yourself.