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“Bye.”

When I got home I put the groceries away, sat down on the couch, and had a good cry.

Chapter 58 – T.J.

Anna stood at the kitchen counter making me a chocolate pie. I kissed her and gave her the pink roses I’d bought on the way back from my haircut.

“They’re beautiful. Thank you,” she said, smiling up at me. She grabbed a vase from under the sink and filled it with water. She wore her hair in a ponytail, and I put my arms around her from behind and kissed the back of her neck.

“Do you need any help?” I asked.

“No, I’m almost done.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine.”

She wasn’t fine, and I knew she’d been crying the minute I walked in the door because her eyes were puffy and streaked with red. But I didn’t know how to fix it if she wouldn’t tell me what was bothering her, and part of me wondered if it was better I didn’t know in case it had something to do with me.

She turned around and smiled a little too brightly.

“Do you want to go to the park as soon as I finish this?” she asked.

A loose strand of hair had escaped from her ponytail and I tucked it behind her ear. “Sure. I’ll grab a blanket for us to sit on. I bet it’s close to seventy degrees.” I kissed her forehead. “I like being outside with you.”

“I like being outside with you, too.”

When we arrived at the park we spread the blanket out and sat down. Anna kicked off her shoes.

“Someone has a birthday coming up,” I said. “What do you want to do to celebrate?”

“I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it.”

“I know what I’m getting you, but I haven’t found it yet. I’ve been looking for a while.”

“I’m intrigued.”

“It’s something you said you wanted once.”

“Besides books and music?”

“Yep.” I’d already bought her an iPod and downloaded all her favorite songs because she liked to listen to music when she ran. A couple times a week she went to the library and returned with stacks of books. She read faster than anyone I knew.

“You still have a couple weeks. You’ll find it.” She smiled and kissed me, and she seemed so happy I thought that maybe everything was okay after all.

Chapter 59 – Anna

I sent out hundreds of resumes. Finding a position so late in the year would be nearly impossible, but I still hoped to find something for fall, even if it was only substitute teaching.

Sarah gave me half the money she received from our parents’ estate and I still had quite a bit left from the amount the Callahan’s had paid me. The airline settlement would add to the balance. Maybe I didn’t have to work, but I wanted to. I missed earning my own money, but mostly I missed teaching.

Sarah and I met for lunch a week before my birthday. The buds on the trees had grown into green leaves and the planters lining the sidewalks held spring flowers. So far, May had been unseasonably warm. We sat on the patio of the restaurant and ordered iced tea.

“What are you doing for your birthday?” Sarah asked, opening her menu.

“I don’t know. T.J. asked me the same thing. I’m happy staying in.” I told her how T.J. and I had celebrated my last birthday on the island. How he’d pretended to give me books and music. “This time, he’s getting me something I mentioned I wanted. I have no idea what it could be.”

The waitress refilled our iced tea and took our order.

“How’s the job search going?” Sarah asked.

“Not good. Either there really aren’t any openings, or they just don’t want to hire me.”

“Try not to let it get you down, Anna.”

“I wish it was that easy.” I took a drink of my iced tea. “You know, when I got on that plane almost four years ago, I had a relationship that was going nowhere and an even slimmer chance of starting a family of my own, but at least I had a job I loved.”

“Someone will hire you eventually.”

“Maybe.”

Sarah peered at me across the table. “Is that all that’s bothering you?”

“No.” I told her about what happened at Trader Joe’s. “I still want the same things, Sarah.”

“What does T.J. want?”

“I’m not sure he knows. When we left Chicago, he just wanted to hang out with his friends and get back to the life he had before the cancer. His friends have moved on without him, though, and I don’t think he’s figured out what to do next.” I told Sarah about T.J.’s trust fund and she raised an eyebrow.

“In his defense, he’s not spoiled by it. But he’s not motivated, either.”

“I see your point,” she said.

“I’m waiting again, Sarah. Different reasons, different guy, but four years later I’m still waiting.”

Chapter 60 – T.J.

The dog bounded into Anna’s apartment and almost knocked her over. She bent down and it licked her face. I dropped the leash on the coffee table and said, “Happy birthday. I couldn’t get that thing in a box if I tried.”

She stood up and kissed me. “I forgot I told you I wanted a dog.”

“Golden retriever. Full-grown. From a shelter. I’ve been looking everywhere. They told me someone found him wandering by the side of the road, no collar, or tags. Skin and bones.” When Anna heard that she dropped to her knees and hugged the dog, petting its soft fur. It licked her again, thumped its tail, and ran around in circles.

“It seems healthy now,” she said.

“You’re not gonna name it Dog, are you?” I teased.

“No. That would be silly. I’m going to name it Bo. I’ve had the name picked out for a long time.”

“Then it’s a good thing it’s a boy.”

“He’s the perfect gift, T.J. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I’m glad you like him.”

***

Anna still hadn’t found a teaching job by the middle of June. She had an interview that went well, at a high school out in the suburbs. She blew it off when she didn’t get the job, but she had trouble falling asleep that night, and I found her in the living room reading a book with Bo’s head in her lap at three in the morning.

“Come back to bed.”

“I’ll be there in a minute,” she said. But when I woke up the next morning her side of the bed was still empty.

She filled her days babysitting Joe and Chloe, reading, and going for long runs. We spent hours outside, either on her small terrace or at the dog park with Bo. We watched the Cubs play at Wrigley Field, and we went to concerts in the park.

She seemed restless, though, no matter how busy we kept ourselves. She stared off into space sometimes, lost in thought, but I never quite had the balls to ask her what she was thinking about.

Chapter 61 – Anna

“Look what came in the mail,” I said when I walked in the door, dropping my keys on the table.

T.J. sat on the couch watching T.V. Bo slept beside him.

“What is it?”

“It’s the registration form for the GED preparation class. I called the other day and asked them to send information. I thought you could sign up, and I could start helping you study.”

“I can start in the fall.”

“They have summer sessions, though, and if you start now, you can finish by the end of August and then maybe enroll at a community college in September. If I manage to find a teaching job, we can both be at school all day.”