The lawyer for the defendants doing the cross-examination asks for his attention. The man

wouldn’t be noticed in a crowded room but Steve knows that by the time he’s finished with his

questions, he will be very nearly as much a part of his dreams and memories as the six men in the

dock.

“As you know, I’m going to ask you some questions. Remember, if any of my questions aren’t

absolutely clear, I’m more than happy to repeat of rephrase them, but please don’t guess just to give

an answer.”

“I’ll do my best.”

Once more he’s fully part of the courtroom drama.

Mr Gavan, do I understand correctly you had been in a homosexual relationship with Mr

Borghart since before the incident?

Steve knows exactly what Daniël would have asked back: “It’s a bit complicated to have a

heterosexual relationship with a man when you’re a man yourself, wouldn’t you say?”

Mr Gavan, could you answer my question, please?

“I’m sorry. Daniël and I had been together for about six months at that time.”

Was there anyone aware of this relationship? Friends? Family? Colleagues?

“No one knew. Daniël’s career ...”

This frustrated you?

“I’m not sure if I understand your question correctly.”

Mr Borghart welcomed his parents from the airport that day, didn’t he?

“Yes.”

And you were not invited? Hadn’t both of you a day off?

“That would have been impossible.”

Because you wanted to keep your relationship hidden from the world?

“We had to.”

Anyone specific ordered you to do so? Was there any pressure from the club you played for at

that moment?

“They didn’t know about us.”

Had Mr Borghart asked you to do so?

“We never really discussed this subject. It wouldn’t have changed anything.”

Because you were afraid it would damage Mr Borghart’s reputation and possibly his market

value? Your own too, perhaps?

“Wouldn’t it?”

But you agree that at that time, before the incident, you were actively hiding the fact you were

in a homosexual relationship with Mr Borghart? A simple yes or no will be enough.

“Yes.”

This fact frustrated you?

“I guess so.”

Let’s go back to the night of the incident. You told the police you had been drinking?

“A few pints, yes.”

But you don’t remember how many?

“Two, three at the most.”

Couldn’t it have been more?

“I can’t remember. It’s been too long.”

You weren’t going to see Mr Borghart for the next two days, were you?

“He had his parents over.”

So you went to a pub, had some beers, two, three, possibly more, while Mr Borghart had dinner

with his parents. Later, but still that same night, you walked through the city when you, fully by

accident you stated earlier to the police, landed in a section of the Queen Elizabeth Park that has been

notorious for being a so-called cruising area for many years. There had even been repeated

complaints about it by families with young children and other users of the park. I remember an article

about it in the Kinbridge Chronicle hardly more than a year ago. Answer yes or no, please.

“But I didn’t know ...”

Yes or no, Mr Gavan.

“Yes.”

Could you tell in your own words what happened then?

“This is a bit embarrassing, but I couldn’t find a public toilet ...”

I’m sure every man in this present company has found himself with the same problem at some

time. The lawyer smiles benignly. You just happened to open the zipper of your jeans to answer

nature’s call right in the middle of a meeting place for anonymous gay sex at a time that’s known in

certain circles as rush hour.

Is he supposed to give a reaction to this? He can’t change the truth, he promised not to.

A man touched you, didn’t he?

“Yes.”

You tried to actively stop him? Telling him he was mistaken?

“I ...”

A simple yes or no, please. Did you try to stop that man from touching you? Or did you

perhaps, on a subconscious level – I’m not here to judge you – welcome his attention? You just told us

you were frustrated about certain facts in your relationship with Mr Borghart. That he was spending

the evening with his parents and that you weren’t welcome in his home until after his parents had gone

back to Holland. That you had been drinking.

“I love Daniël. I would never hurt him on purpose. He’s not just the man I’m going to marry,

he’s my best friend. He was my last thought when I was dying. Is nothing sacred to you? I’m very

sorry, I shouldn’t have …”

I can only compliment you on your loyalty to your fiancé, but this is about the truth and about

justice. Did you try to stop that man?

“No ...I didn’t know how ...”

Thank you. What happened then?

“Everyone ran away.”

And you were confronted with the group of men present in this room?

“Yes. Fans of KTFC. At least that was my first thought. ”

How did you know they were fans?

“They recognised me. Most people in Kinbridge know about the skipper...Matthew Kirkby, but

only fans who follow the club would have recognised me. Later, when they attacked me, I knew for

sure.”

I bet they were happily surprised to meet a regular player of their favourite team.

“They weren’t.”

Perhaps because of the place you were at that moment? Could it be possible they had witnessed

by accident that a man was touching you inappropriately?

“But ...”

That must have been something of a shock. Group of mates, having shared a few pints at the

local pub, perhaps a pint too many, heading home via a short-cut through the park and there they are

confronted with one of their heroes. A player of their beloved Kinbridge Town Football Club getting

touched up by another man.

“I ...”

Are you absolutely sure those men are the same as the men in the dock?

“Yes. I know that for certain. I looked at their faces.”

And what did you see?

“Disbelief. Horror. I think I even remember one mentioned something about his kid’s football

kit. I’ll never forget ...”

Your number, perhaps? Something like that? His little boy playing your position?

“Might be.”

Thank you. I have no more questions.

Steve feels his body crumble. The shaking must be even visible to everyone present in the

courtroom. It will be impossible for him to get up and leave the witness box with even a modicum of

dignity.

“The prosecution has any more questions for the witness? If they are more than one or two, we

should perhaps postpone those questions until after lunch.” The judge informs; her voice businesslike.

“The prosecution has no more questions, Your Honour.”

Steve knows Daniël is looking at him, but he can’t look at Daniël. He can’t bear the hurt on the

face of his boy. Everything screams in pain.

“Can I go home, please? Danny?”

Then, suddenly, Daniël’s arms are around him, and very soon Gael’s too and they help him to

the car whilst Matthew talks to the press.

“You’re safe now, love. We’ll go home first, you rest and then we’ll talk. Gael offered to drive

us home, because I can’t. Honestly, I can’t.”

“I really don’t know if I could have done this even half as well without breaking down much

earlier,” Gael says. “Matthew? I’ll take Dan and Steve home. You update the gaffer about today?”

Matthew nods. “That’s fine, lad. Dan? Take the day off tomorrow. With Degaré’s permission,

in case you’re worried about that.”

On the back seat Daniël takes Steve’s hand, like he has done countless times. Steve uses his

free hand to touch his lover’s face. “Don’t cry, Danny, please don’t cry.”

Chapter 29

On the bed, it is Steve holding Daniël, waiting until the silent tears have fallen. It hurts seeing