Steve wonders if what he sees in the mirror will ever again be roughly the same as what he sees

in his mind. But he doesn’t doubt Daniël’s words.

Two days later, the petite doctor he remembers is called Nisha tells Steve he’s ready to be

discharged from hospital.

“Am I ready to go home?” he asks Daniël. “Do I have a home to go to?”

“We have to decide if we’re going to stay at your place or mine for the time being. I’m sure

we’ll find a good house before we get married. I was thinking about a nice little place with a garden.”

Daniël happily talks. Then he seems to realise something. “You’re not talking about where we’re

going to live.”

Steve shakes his head.

“I think your apartment is a bit more comfortable, and you definitely have a bigger and better

bed. Because after tomorrow, there’s no way I’m ever going to sleep in a bed that hasn’t got you in it.

Okay, with the exception of tournaments and matches.”

“And the night before the wedding,” Steve adds.

“Why?”

“Tradition.”

“Love it, an old fashioned man with principles. It’s definitely one of your charms. Like those

old cars dad restores. He used to let me watch when he worked on them. On the rare days I wasn’t

learning new tricks with a ball, that is. He told me if you treat those beauties with respect and

kindness, they will never let you down.”

“Hey ...”

“You know how I think about cars, and especially classic ones. I’m so looking forward to

marrying you. And that’s not because of the wedding. Although, the wedding night ...”

They kiss, because talking about the big day makes them somehow want to kiss. And when

they kiss, they don’t have to talk, or even think, about how they will have to deal with things they can

imagine, and things they don’t want to imagine and that will happen anyway.

*

Neither of them reckons that even leaving the hospital will be a complicated task in its own

right.

“There’s going to be lots of press waiting for you when you get out of hospital. No idea how

they’ll know, but they’ll know. So we’re going to spread a false rumour about the exact time. A few of

the boys and I are going to visit you, then we go out again. Answer some questions. Distract them as

much as we can while the two of you get smuggled out by a nurse. There’ll be a car, with a driver,

waiting for you. We can’t fool them all, so be prepared for a few pictures in the tabloids and on the

net, but it should at least be manageable. I talked it all though with the gaffer and Anthony and with

Gael of course, because he’s very clever with those things and you guys have enough on your plates

anyway.” Matthew explains the plan of action like the captain of a warship.

He reaches out and almost touches Steve’s mouth. “By the way, looks good.”

Daniël smiles even more brightly than Steve himself. “I know. And thanks for the help.”

“Don’t mention it. You know what the gaffer’s like when we seem to forget certain principles.

And as far as I’m concerned, you’re both part of the team I’ve been captain of for nearly five years.

Make no mistake about that.”

Daniël nods. “If you don’t like working in a team, you might consider taking up another sport.

And of course there’s also his famous: we’re not friends; we’re family, so we don’t have to like each

other to take care of one another. And eh, I appreciate what you just said.”

“I mean every word. Anyway, we’ll make sure both of your stuff gets to Steve’s, so you don’t

have to worry about that,” Matthew says.

So Daniël starts collecting clothes and everything else he and Steve can well miss for a bit

more than 24 hours and stuffs it into whatever bags are available. Somehow seeing him doing that,

while still talking with Matthew about all the things that need to be done to make the transition from

hospital to home as easy and pleasant as possible for Steve, makes it all so real it knocks the air out of

Steve’s lungs.

He sees himself kissing Daniël. “See you in two days, have fun with your folks.”

He sees himself walking through the city with a smile as big as the world on his face and a

spring in his step, the scent of his lover on his skin.

Getting confused about what the hell is going on in that park.

Finding refuge in his beloved’s arms so he didn’t have to die alone.

Crawling his way back to Daniël, away from perfect beauty and final wisdom, because there

was no other path to follow.

Learning everything anew, like a child, knowing he isn’t one.

Having no illusions whatsoever that some things are lost forever and still not being quite able

to accept the plain facts.

“I went for a bit of a walk. It took me months to get home,” he says.

Daniël stands there, a plastic shopping bag half filled with shirts and a pair of jeans. Silent.

“You done a bloody miracle,” Matthew’s words explode from his mouth like fireworks. Then,

much softer: “But lad, you paid an awfully high price.”

Steve refuses to say that it could have been much worse.

“Both of you have.”

Daniël looks at the man who’s still his captain. He puts his hand on Steve’s shoulder.

“Perhaps.” Not a trace of self-pity in his voice.

After Matthew’s gone with a few bags of clothes – not too many because that would attract

attention – and with the promise a couple of the other guys will come in a few hours to get the rest of

what needs to be moved to Steve’s place, both men sit on the edge of the bed, holding each other’s

hands. Like two lost children.

That’s how they stay when Doctor Nisha visits Steve to ask some questions, give some last

pieces of advice, say goodbye, or rather until later, because the surgical team agreed there’s perhaps

still progress to be made in the operating theatre.

Nurses and other members of the staff, who don’t have a shift until after Steve’s gone home,

say their goodbyes. Smiles and hands outstretched in more than just professional courtesy. There’s so

much to be said, and so little is actually spoken.

The next day they look around in a room brought back to the essentials. Just a hospital room,

except for cleaning all set for the next patient. The last thing Daniël does before they leave the room is

putt on his watch. He smiles at Steve. “Ready to go home?”

*

Steve still can’t walk without his crutches but when he steps out of the hospital, Daniël takes

one crutch in his right hand. Hand in hand, they walk the few steps to the waiting car. There are no

tears in Daniël’s or his own eyes and they don’t say a word about it. They just walk outside, in the

morning sun, holding each other’s hand.

Expecting a hired chauffeur, Steve’s a bit surprised to see Anthony Levee opening the door for

them.

“Not going to let yer be brought home by some stranger.”

Matthew was right, there are hardly more than a few handfuls of photographers. A couple of

mostly female fans stand in silent awe. A young woman with a microphone asks a question Steve

ignores and Daniël answers with a polite but short, “More information will soon be available through

the club, thank you.”

When the photographers threaten to get too close, Anthony tells them off with words that

leaves little to the imagination.

“At least now they got something to write about.” He grins while he helps Steve inside.

Before he sets the car in motion, he makes a short call. “I got it under control, Matthew, we’re

on our way.”

Steve looks through the window. The world is still the same, he didn’t expect anything else.

But somehow it all looks different to him. No longer the same streets and houses. No longer the same