keep from smiling when I saw him struggle with the copy-machine in the hallway. I allowed myself to do

things at home that I hadn’t done in a long while, like pull David into my lap when we were watching TV

or run my hand through his growing hair when we were on the cough together with our family. Nobody,

except for Brad, seemed to notice any change. Of course our family had witnessed our behavior for years

and they thought nothing of this sudden change in affections again.

When it was almost Christmas, I could think of nothing else than getting a great gift for David. Since I’d

been letting him in to my life again, my feelings for him had been growing exponentially by the day. I

thought of him constantly, there was nothing else on my mind. I tried to focus on work but even at the firm

my feelings were showing. I even brought him coffee now, just to see him and have a quick chat. I helped

him out with a case-file too and we spend late evenings together working. We were alone in the office

during on of those nights, or so I thought, in front of each other at his desk. We’d been writing down some

notes and papers, pens, post-its and both our laptops were strewn across the desk. David grabbed for one

of my pens and I did the same thing at the same moment. Our fingers brushed together and I caught his

hand in mine. His eyes flashed up at me. I’d never touched him at the office, not even brushed past him in

the hallway. We just sat there, our fingers entwined for a few seconds, until I heard Brad in the hallway

and let go of David reluctantly again.

When I went home on Friday evening I passed a store on my way to my apartment with an amazing

Marc Jacobs sweater in the window. I imagined how good it would look on David as I walked by and I

went back to get it the next day. I had it wrapped in a box with a nice bow on top.

28. Merry Christmas

On December the 24th we spend the day at our parents’ place. The whole house was decorated with

lights in the shape of melting ice, even though there was no snow in Fresno. Everybody helped Juliette to

make dinner during the afternoon and we drank glühwine until we were all a bit tipsy. It was a typical

Christmas for our family; there were cheesy Christmas songs and candle lights, the table was full of food

and we were all festively dressed, even David. We were all sitting around the big table in the living

room, having an appetizer and ‘the kids’ were singing along with ‘Last Christmas’. None of us could

really sing, Christine especially sucked, but it was fun. On evenings like this I really loved my family, all

of us together talking and enjoying each others’ company. Those Christmases where I’d been annoyed

with David and unhappy seemed far away this evening.

Over dinner my dad stood up and said: “I’ve got an announcement to make; this year I’ve been with the

firm for 25 years and more importantly, Juliette and I will have been married for fifteen years.” Juliette

laughed and raised her glass to him. He continued: “We’re planning a big party in two months. Everything

is being arranged. We’re inviting all our friends, acquaintances and everybody that’s working at the firm

with their partners and some business contacts too. It’s going to be grand!”

“Jesus that’s going to cost you something,” one of the twins blurted out.

“It’s going to be a very expensive party,” my dad said with a charming smile, “But it’s worth it. Juliette

and I didn’t have a big wedding and I think she deserves a big anniversary party don’t you think?”

“It sounds great,” Christine said enthusiastically.

“I’m sure it’s going to be great,” I said. “Do you need some help with anything? The way I hear it,

you’re on a pretty tight schedule for this party.”

“I’m glad you’re volunteering,” my day laughed. “Actually I have a list of chores for you and your

brother to take care of.”

The remainder of the evening, we talked about the plans for the party until Brad and Christine were

going home and they gave me a lift in their car. It was only a small detour for them to drop me off and I

was glad that I could sleep in my own apartment. David and I had been next to each other on the couch the

whole evening and I knew that if we both slept over at our parents place, I would spend the night awake,

thinking about going to his room.

I slept alone in my apartment and woke up groggy from consuming too much glühwine and eggnog. It

was Christmas morning and in a couple of hours we were all back at our parent’s place. All our presents

were stacked underneath the huge Christmas tree and the whole house smelled like cookies. I felt like a

kid again for a moment. My dad was wearing his best suit and Juliette had on a glittery beige dress that

complemented her hair color. She had her hair tied up in roll with a gold-colored hairpin. They made

such a good-looking couple together, even though my dad had turned fifty-four last year. We were all

welcomed in and shared some hugs and Christmas wishes. I hugged David hard before the twins dragged

him out of my arms to have him look at their new comics.

Around noon we had brunch together, my stomach could barely cope after yesterday’s alcohol, and after

that started unwrapping presents. I’d bought some really nice French cognac for my dad and a Hermes

scarf for Juliette that I knew she wanted. I’d brought a new video game for the twins and some nice

crystal glasses for Christine’s and Brad’s new home. Then I gave my present to David. He unwrapped it

and pulled out the sweater. “It’s really great,” he said with a smile.

“Yeah, I thought it would look really good on you,” I said. He hugged me hard. “Can I try it now?”

“Of course you can,” I said. David took off his shirt in the hallway and came back wearing the sweater.

He looked amazing. It had a really low-cut V-neck that showed part of his chest and the grey-blue color

matched his eyes perfectly. His hair had grown just enough to make the previously awful looking haircut

turn really hot.

“Do you like it?” he asked. I nodded and I stroked his arm through the soft fabric.

“Let me give you your gift,” he said and he picked up a small package. I tore off the wrapping and

opened the little box that was inside; it was a really nice watch.

“Fuck David, that’s too much,” I said. The watch really looked expensive.

“I saw it when I was shopping for presents and I really wanted you to have it he explained.”

“Thank you,” I said hoarsely and hugged him again, this time even longer than the time before. I could

feel his muscular back and the warmth of his skin through the sweater. I really didn’t want to let go.

“Put it on Michael,” Christine said, who was standing next to me. I put on the watch and showed it to

everybody before I was back at David’s side again. We unwrapped more presents and listened to some

sentimental Christmas music before we had an early dinner.

During dinner I couldn’t keep my eyes of David. I was so happy and I loved to see him laugh with Brad

and the twins and smile at my dad’s corny jokes. Sometimes his eyes caught mine and then he gave me a

brooding look. I felt hot and had to loosen my tie.

After dinner we all helped Juliette to clear the table and then we watched a sappy Christmas movie.

David sat down in front of me on the floor, while I was on the couch and I had my arms around him the

whole time. Nobody notices us sitting like that, except for Brad. The warmth of David’s back was seeping

through the fabric of his sweater, warming the inside of my thighs and my lap. I leaned forward in to that