“I’m sorry to hear that,” he said and for a moment he looked worried about me.

We went out to dinner with Remi the next day. Some of his friends, including Pavel, came too. I didn’t

even dare to look Pavel in the eye anymore; I’d completely forgotten to call him after our night of passion.

I was sure I’d hurt his feelings.

When we were all at our table, Glenn was impressed at how easily I talked in French to everyone.

“Wow, you’ve certainly adjusted,” he said. “Smooth talking in French with all the European boys.” He

was eying Pavel, who was too shy to look at him.

We had a great time eating and talking and drinking loads of wine and this anise flavored liquor that Remi

liked. Remi was looking super hot this evening. He had his dark hair slicked back and he was wearing a

dark blue shirt that complemented his nice olive skin color. Glenn was telling him stories about our partynights

in New York and in return Remi was giving him an update about what I’d been doing in Paris.

“It sure sounds like the two of you have had a lot of fun the last couple of months, too bad I wasn’t

here,” Glenn pouted.

“We’ve had lots of fun but Michael was a bit sad too sometimes,” Remi said. “He misses his brother a

lot, it’s so cute the way he talks about him.”

Glenn turned his head to look at me. His eyes caught mine and I knew that he knew…

Later, we all went to a club for some dancing. Pavel was talking to a slim French guy and after an hour

or so they both left. Glenn and I were standing at the bar, watching the other people dance.

“So what’s the deal with you and Remi?” Glenn asked while he was handing me a drink.

“We’re basically just friends and on occasion I fuck him,” I said.

“Well he’s a really cute guy… But not as cute as your brother,” Glenn said with a smirk on his face.

Glenn looked over at Remi who was currently French kissing a tall French guy. “He looks like he’s pretty

good at it,” he smiled.

“He gives pretty good blow-jobs too, maybe you should ask for one,” I joked. Glenn raised an

eyebrow, “I just might do that you know.”

“Go ahead, I really don’t feel possessive about him in that way,” I replied. It was true I really didn’t

mind that Remi was all over some other guy. I wouldn’t even mind if Glenn fucked him. I was only

thinking about that first night in New York were Glenn and me had met David and we ended up dancing

together for hours. I wished he was here now. I was feeling kind of empty although I should be happy that

my best friend was here.

Remi was finished with kissing the tall guy and came over to us. “So do you want to dance?” he asked

me. I shook my head. “How about you?” he asked Glenn and gave him a seductive little smile.

“I’ll dance with you,” Glenn said to Remi and I could see he was in a predatory mood now.

I watched them dance while I remained standing at the bar. They were really grinding their belies

together, like David and I used to do. I could see they were both having a lot of fun. I was happy for them

but felt a bit melancholy too. Why couldn’t I just be more like Remi or Glenn and just go out and have fun

for a change? Why did I always need to think about David?

At 02:00 AM Glenn came over to the bar again. “Do you mind if I go home with him?” he asked. “No

of course not,” I said. “Just go ahead and I’ll see you in the morning. I really need to get some sleep so

I’m going home.”

“Are you sure you’re okay with this,” he asked. I smiled warily. “It’s not like your asking me to sleep

with David so do whatever you please.” I probably shouldn’t have said that last thing, but I figured that

Glenn knew how I felt anyway. “Then I’ll see you in the morning,” he said and rushed over to Remi again.

Remi and Glenn really hit it off and I think Remi almost saw more of Glenn during those two weeks

than I did. Actually I was feeling relieved because I didn’t feel like sleeping with Remi anymore now that

I was calling David so often and I was glad that he and Glenn seemed to like each other so much.

“I can’t believe you haven’t fallen for this guy,” Glenn said when we were having a late breakfast in a

café. “I know he’s perfect,” I said. “But he’s just not perfect for me.”

“I think I might actually fall for him myself,” Glenn said. “Really?” I asked surprised. To my

knowledge Glenn had never really been in love before.

“I’m thinking about asking him to come and see me in New York.”

“You should do that. He’ll love it,” I said.

When Remi later walked in to join us he and Glenn gave each other a long kiss and I saw in Remi’s eyes

that he liked Glenn just as much as Glenn liked him.

Then Glenn’s visit was over way too soon and I was preparing to leave as well. My contract at the

French law firm ended two weeks before I would leave and for my final two weeks in Paris my dad came

to visit me.

It was nice having my dad around, just for myself, and doing guy-stuff with him. I showed him all my

favorite spots in the city and we talked about work a lot. He was very relieved that still wanted to come

back and work for the firm.

I introduced Remi to my dad and the both helped me pack my stuff and bring things that I could leave

behind to Remi’s apartment. I gave him most of the books I’d bought because they were too heavy to take

with me, and also the espresso machine. The last evening we saw each other, he cried. “Please don’t do

that,” I said.

“I just can’t help it. We’ve been seeing so much of each other and I hate losing a good friend,” he said.

“I’ll be back in France in a while and you’ve already bought your ticket to see Glenn. Maybe I can fly

to New York and see you both there. Glenn and me can show you around in New York, we know all the

best places to go.” He cheered up bit. We hugged each other and said goodbye for the moment.

PART 6 FRESNO

23. Back at home once again

So after another year in France I was flying back home to my family again. They were all waiting for

me at the airport when I landed. Christine ran up to me and hugged me when I walked in to the arrivals

hall. She was almost smothering me in her arms. I could see David standing behind my dad, laughing and

waiting for his turn to welcome me back. After I’d been thoroughly kissed and hugged by Christine and

Juliette and the twins had said “Welcome back”, I walked up to David and hugged him.

It been a year since I’d had him in my arms for the last time and I’d forgotten how tall he was compared

to Remi and how broad his chest was when I held him. Hugging him felt like we were two pieces of a

puzzle that fit together easily. I locked my arms around his back and buried my head against his neck for a

second. I didn’t give a fuck about who was watching us. Everything was so intense in that moment; I could

feel his strong arms around my waist, the muscles in his back, the smell of his hair and the sound of his

breathing. I only led him go when my dad said that our taxi was waiting for us outside.

In the taxi-van everybody was asking me questions about my time in Paris and about my flight. I was

really too tired from travelling with all my suitcases and almost fell asleep on the way home.

“We’ll drop you off at your own apartment. I’ve brought the key,” my dad said. “You should get some

sleep and then we’ll see you in the morning.”

I nodded. David and the twins helped me with getting my luggage out of the van and carried it upstairs

for me. We hugged a second time. “I’m so happy that you are back,” David said. “But you should get some

sleep Michael, you look exhausted.”