I doubt it. He’s never here.

I pulled the door open. There it is. Just as I had hoped. I reached in and took hold of his handgun. His favourite piece to use whenever he is training new cadets. At least, that’s what he tells me it’s for. For all I know he could have purchased it from the black market just as a source of protection for the house. I wonder if mum knew it was here? I only knew from when I had seen it over his shoulder.

“Put that down!” mum said sternly as I pulled the gun from the safe.

“I can’t. I need it.”

“Need it? For what?”

I just looked at her. She knew what it was for. Did I really have to spell it out? I need it to teach them a lesson. All of them. Just as David wanted to do. I’m doing it for David…

“You’re not leaving the house with it,” mum said. She blocked the doorway. I can only hope she isn’t going to test me. “You’re not taking that to school,” she continued — proof that she knew exactly what I wanted it for.

“Yes, I am. I need to show them they can’t push people around anymore. I need to show them there are consequences to their actions. They need to know I’m not afraid. They need to know…”

“You’re not afraid? Then you don’t need to take a gun to school…”

“I need to show them!” I shouted. I could feel my eyes start to well up. “Did you know David wasn’t the first to kill himself at my school? There were others too…Others who were bullied like David. The first I have heard of this was yesterday…In the cafeteria…People talking about it…Remembering the others who had taken their lives as well because they were bullied…”

“So you go and hurt the one who bullied your friend?” said mum. “There will just be another bully further down the line. No matter what is said and done, there will always be someone to take their place.”

“There doesn’t have to be. I can teach them. I can show them the error of their ways. I can show them. They won’t hurt anyone again. They won’t. And when news gets out about what I’ve done…When the news gets out — no one will want to hurt anyone again…”

“You’re being silly,” said mum, “the world doesn’t work like that.”

“It can. No one has tried it yet.”

“I’m sorry about your friend. You know I am. If you want to look at changing schools, I’ll talk with your father when he calls…”

“What’s the point? Every school is the same! I need to do this. Not just for me but people like David….”

“But…”

“Lindsey, Elizabeth, Marcus, Samantha, Kate…Helen…Now David. I found the newspaper reports on them on the school computer. They all killed themselves using various methods. All dead because of bullies…”

“You don’t know that, it could have been because…”

“Of course it was to do with the bullies. There may have been something else in their life to upset them too but you know it would have been the likes of Piers who had tipped them over the edge. Every time I shut my eyes I see them standing there. Every time…”

I looked at the David and the others. Time was running out. Too much taken up with arguing with Mrs Price about what I was doing. How wrong I was. I’m not a psychopath. I’m not. I’m the innocent one. David and the other six students…We are the innocent ones…Backed into corners with no visible exit other than what I’m doing here or suicide. I need to do this. Just skip across to Piers. He is the main culprit, in my eyes. Teach him a lesson so harsh the others will learn from it.

This is it.

This is what I’ve been gearing towards.

11

“Enough is enough,” barked Mrs Price, “give me the gun!”

Who does she think she is giving orders like that? She forgets, this is my class. I am the one in charge. She is right, though, enough is enough. I’ve already passed the point of no return. Now it’s time to end it.

“Give me the gun!” she screamed.

I’d never heard my mum shout like that and it took me back a bit.

“Give me the gun!” she screamed again. I went to push past her but she grabbed for the gun. She was screaming for me to hand it over but I wouldn’t. For a split second we both danced around the room, fighting over the gun, when suddenly a shot rang through the house — echoing in the small room we were in.

Mrs Price looked startled as I looked at her down the barrel of the smoking gun. Blood immediately poured from the hole in her chest. She dropped to her knees without another word and then face-planted onto the hard floor. The rest of the class screamed and immediately jumped up from their desks. Someone would have heard that. Someone would be coming now.

It doesn’t matter if the sound of the gunshot does attract people. I won’t be here. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I didn’t mean for the gun to go off but I can’t stay here regretting what’s happened. As I looked down at mum, who was lying face down in a pooling puddle of blood, I knew that none of this was my fault. I feel numb about what I’ve done. It’s not my fault. None of it. This is their fault. The bullies. Piers. This is his fault. Lessons start in less than an hour. I need to be ready. I only hope I can get this finished before they come for me.

I didn’t care that the class was in a panic. I didn’t care that some of them had dared to make a rush for the door. They could go. It didn’t matter anymore. All that matters is him…Piers. He is still in the back row of the class. I’m not sure whether he is still too stunned to make a run for it or too stupid. Either way I’m grateful. I didn’t want to have to chase him through the school.

I stormed over to where Piers was sitting, smoking gun still in my hand, and grabbed him by his hair. He let out a funny little wail as I pulled him to his feet and marched him to the front of the classroom. By the time we get there, most of the class is empty. It’s just me…Ben, Mrs Price and Piers. Even Daniel managed to get out of the room — no doubt racing off home to brush his teeth and rinse out the flavour of cock with extra strong mouthwash. Fucking faggot.

“You did all this!” I screamed at Piers. “You!”

It didn’t matter about being quiet now. I knew they were coming for me. Someone would have called the police by now…Someone would have run to the other teachers. Time is against me.

“Fuck you!” hissed Piers. I smashed him in the face with the butt of the gun and he let out of a scream. His front two teeth cracked on impact with the hard metal. That’s going to hurt in the morning.

“No! Fuck you! You did all this.” I raised the butt of the gun back into the air and dropped it down onto his face once more. A loud crack. Was that his nose? He looked dazed. “Don’t you fucking pass out…”

“Stop! What are you doing?” came a voice from the doorway.

I looked up to see the Head Teacher standing there with a look of horror on his face. I pointed the gun directly at him. He put his hands out in front of him as though they’d stop a bullet from flying towards him.

“Tell me about David,” I shouted.

“What?”

“Tell me about David…What sort of person was he?”

There was a slight pause.

“He was a confused la….” he started.

I pulled the trigger and he dropped dead. David wasn’t confused. David was a victim. We’re all victims. “Because of people like you,” I said to Piers — the final string of my thoughts coming out vocally.

“Please…Don’t kill me…” he said. Have the beatings finally broken him down? Or was it the sight of the Head Teacher and Mrs Price getting a bullet? This ‘hard man’ who gives off an image of someone who won’t be controlled finally broken? I won’t pretend not to be a little disappointed. I was looking forward to hitting him some more but, truth be told, it’s probably for the best. I’m pretty sure I can already hear the sirens in the distance.