Ken: Well, I can't see anything. I suppose it would have to be a feeling.

Bill: I'm sure that you can tell when your tires need air by feeling the way the truck rides. You know how you can tell whether the tires on your rig are full or not just by the sluggishness of the truck, right?

Ken: Yeah, you've got to be able to! Yeah, I know what you are talking about.

I hope you all understand what Bill is doing. He's using my perceptual reality to make all the points that he wants to make. If you have this kind of flexibility to shift your words and examples so as to make sense in my reality, then you can communicate artistically.

Bill: Do you think that after all the years you've been driving truck, you could tell the slightest difference in tire pressure?

Ken: Yeah, I'm good at it.

Bill: Are you good enough to tell a slight difference in this feeling (Bill gestures towards Ken's stomach.) that you get from the part that runs Y?

Ken: Oh, yeah! I know when that's happening. There's no doubt about it.

Bill: Well, I'd like you to tell me what type of difference you feel when it changes?

Ken: Well, when I'm doing Y … Do you want me to just go ahead and tell you about this, or do you want me to still use this Y and Z routine?

Bill: You're out front. You're a truck driver. You can just tell me.

Ken: Yeah. OK. When I get home from a trip, I'm really tired. (His shoulders sag.) I've been on the road for fourteen to sixteen hours sometimes. The first thing that happens when I walk in the door is that my wife comes up to me and goes «Hi, honey, tell me about your trip.» (He stiffens up.) But all I want to do right then is fall into bed and relax. And the more I try to just do what I need to do to fall into bed and relax, the more she wants to talk … you know … because she's interested, if you know what I mean… . You know what happened? She went back to school. I mean, education is important—

Bill: Let's hold it for a second. I would really like to find out all about what she's been doing, but—

Ken: Well, I'll tell you. I don't—

Bill: But I have one question before that.

Ken: Yeah? What's that?

Bill: When she comes up to you and says «Hi, honey …» what is she trying to do? What does she want from you? Do you think she wants your attention, your love?

Ken: Yeah, she wants my attention, my love. Yeah. I've been away sixteen hours, you know! (He leans back into a position of pride and self–satisfaction.)

Bill: Do you think you have the ability to show her your love before she even asks for it? Is that a challenge you are man enough to meet?

Ken: Hey! Of course! (He straightens up and his body shifts to a more «confident» posture.)

Good. That's content reframing. Bill didn't bother to go through the official six–step reframing model; he simply used my beliefs about myself to get leverage to induce a change. The thing that is very elegant about the sequence that just occurred is that Bill had the flexibility to find the things in my reality that he could use as leverage to get me to use some new behavior. I've given him several indications, both analogically and verbally, «Well, I've been away sixteen hours, you know, that I take pride in being a real «man.» So he says «Are you man enough to take control of the situation?» And that would work. Bill also had the finesse to be able to stop me from talking about my wife going back to school, which was irrelevant to what Bill wanted to accomplish.

Man: Isn't this hypothetical truck driver asking you to change his wife's behavior, though?

As a therapist, the perceptual frame you can use is «Of course you want her to be different, and the way that's going to happen is that you'll be different: your being different will make her different.» Of course you won't tell the client that. You are going to use leverage the way Bill just did, in order to force the truck driver into new behavior. That will have the effect of changing her behavior.

OK. Do you have any comments about the sequence that we just role–played here? Notice that this was not a standard six–step reframing. However, most of the steps were there; they were just externalized. After Bill made the content reframe, I became the part that was the new behavior. I didn't look the way I looked when I talked about Y. When I became the new behavior, I actually accessed the situation in all systems. I saw my wife, heard the sound of her voice, and had the kinesthetic sensations of being at home. That takes care of the future–pace, so Bill doesn't need to ask «Will that part take responsibility for the new behavior occurring in that same context?»

The ecological check hasn't come up yet, but I assume that he would go there next. Alternatively, he could use a second session with me as an ecological check. You don't have to do all of the steps in the same session, although it's much better if you do.

Woman: How about testing?

That's a good question. How would you test?

Woman: Are you going home after this, or are you going on a trip somewhere?

Ken: No, I'm going straight home after this. (Ken analogically accesses the new behavior.)

Woman: What are you going to do when you get home?

Ken: None of your business! As a matter of fact, are we about done? I'm ready to go.

Fred: There's just one quick thing before you go.

Ken: What's that?

Fred: Your wife's at home, and you have children, right?

Ken: Yeah, but they're at school right now.

Fred is checking for ecological considerations now.

Fred: When you walk in the door and see your wife, I want you to «put the hammer down and convoy.»

Exercise

Now I want you to write down three situations that you frequently encounter in six–step reframing that you want more choices about coping with. It might be that you are unable to get access to a signal system. It might be that you don't know what to do when the client gets confused in the middle of the reframing process and says «I don't know what I'm doing anymore.» It might be that the person says she can't access her creative part. Or perhaps the part says it won't take responsibility for implementing the new choices, because it's not certain whether they'll work. Here is an outline of six–step reframing to help you identify the points at which you would like to have more choices.

Six–Step Reframing Outline

1) Identify the pattern (X) to be changed. «I want to stop X'ing but I can't," or «I want to Y, but something stops me.»

2) Establish communication with the part responsible for the pattern.

a) «Will the part of me that makes me X communicate with me in consciousness?» Pay attention to any feelings, images, or sounds that occur in response to asking that question internally.

b) Establish the «yes/no» meaning of the signal. Have it increase in brightness, volume, or intensity for «yes," and decrease for

«no.»

3) Separate the behavior, pattern X, from the positive intention of the part that is responsible for X. The unwanted behavior is only a way to achieve some positive function.

a) Ask the part that runs X «Would you be willing to let me know in consciousness what you are trying to do for me by Pattern X?»

b) If you get a «yes» response, ask the part to go ahead and communicate its intention. If you get a «no» response, proceed with unconscious reframing, presupposing positive intention.

c) Is that intention acceptable to consciousness? Do you want to have a part of you which fulfills that function?

d) Ask the part that runs X «If there were ways to accomplish your positive function that would work as well as, or better than X, would you be interested in trying them out?»