It was still hard to leave after the six weeks, but somehow Tibet did not seem as inaccessible as it had. It was now part of our lives. We planned to build a house and come back each year. Tsedup and I would witness great changes in the lives of the nomads in our visits to come: those of Tsedup's generation had fewer children, less land, fewer livestock than their ancestors. Now some of the children were going to school and a few of their parents even had mobile phones. Only their unfaltering spirituality would stem the tide of modernisation. It was at the heart of the nomads and would be passed from father to son for ever. Tsedup and I would watch the children grow. They were the future.

A few weeks after we had gone, Sirmo gave birth to a son. He was named Tsering Dhondup. Then, in the winter, our own son was born. Tsedup stayed for the birth along with my mother. It was not the custom for a nomad man, but somehow he defied one of the greatest taboos of his culture to be by my side. I hadn't demanded it. I soon forgot the pain, but I would never forget his tears falling on me.

Our boy, Gonbochab, is the bridge between our two worlds. We hope he will inherit the best of both, for he is loved in the East and in the West. Sometimes I stand with him at the kitchen window and we look out beyond the small yard and the fence and the backs of other people's houses. We look up at the sky and the planes flying east. I rock him gently and tell him that one day we'll take him to his other home.

One day soon.

Glossary

ajay – aunty

arro – Hello

Bardo – the intermediate state between death and rebirth

Bodhisattva – a spiritual incarnate or emanation of Buddha, who cares for all sentient beings

Bon, Bonpo – indigenous shamanic tradition of Tibet and its practitioners

Bourgea – traditional Tibetan hat made from silk and lined with fur

Chadmay – leather belt worn by nomad women, decorated with coral or turquoise and silver discs

Chenrezik – the bodhisattva of compassion

Cho demo – How are you?

Chorten – religious monument of brick or stone, consisting of a dome, a box, a spire and a plinth

Chuba – traditional Lhasa-style pinafore dress

Chukgor – steel weight attached to a long leather thong which is used by the nomads to defend themselves against dogs

dalin – saddle-bag

darchok – prayer flags

djoma – small brown beans dug from the earth

djomdi – a dish of boiled brown beans, rice, sugar and melted butter

dobshair – woven hanging used to cover up the items stored at the back of the tent – sometimes embellished with coloured ribbon and bells

dro – female yak

gamtuk – wooden box containing tsampa, butter and cheese

garchot – non-blood offering

gorji – headband of amber stones worn by pubescent girls

hdir – 'treasure' – offerings to the earth, contained in colourful cloth bags

hornig – the nomads' dating game: young men travel miles at night on horseback or yak to seek out young girls in their tents

jib – fireplace, the heart of the nomad tent, made from turf and clay

jo – wheat husks

kabshat or lazjhee – mountain love songs traditionally sung across the valleys by young boys and girls

kacher – long sheep's hair

kadak – white silk stole representing the purity of the Tibetan heart (sometimes referred to as 'prayer scarf')

katsup – the gap between the fabric in the middle of the tent roof, which allows the smoke from the fire to escape

kirchi – tube of brightly coloured, knitted fabric used as a hat or a face-covering in winter

kirok – sash worn around the tsarer

korlo – prayer wheel

langwha – washing basin

laptse – holy mountain

long had – 'wind horses', small paper squares with pictures of horses printed on them which carry blessings when thrown to the wind

lu/luma – male and female demi-gods of the subterranean world; serpent spirits of earth and water

mandala – the 'Wheel of Life' – a symmetrical picture made from coloured sand. The simplest mandala is an empty circle and the centre represents 'emptiness', the pure awareness and limitless space of the Buddha mind.

marcho – blood offering

merdach – spun sheep's wool

momos – traditional dish of steamed parcels of meat

NamNyeur – 'Sky Man' or ancient man

namma – bride or daughter-in-law

ndashung – wooden spear, about six metres high, with a brightly painted flight for pegging the earth at spiritual offering sites

nyen – sky gods, of a warrior-like nature, who live on the mountain peaks

Nyon Nyi – a religious ritual dedicated to fasting, contemplation, prayer and self-purification

phurba – ritual dagger

piju – Chinese word for beer

ratcho – pipe

rawa – head ornament sewn into pubescent girls' hair, made of heavily embroidered silk fabric, silver and precious stones

rungpizz – ribbon rice noodles, served cold with garlic, vinegar, chilli and tofu – favourite dish of the nomad women

samker – broth of tsampa, salt, and milk with ginger or aniseed

seeto – wicker basket

shabala – meat fritters

shangtee – traditional Tibetan boots with pointed upturned toes, made from felt or leather and usually only worn by old people

shermo – girl

shinlab – literally 'wave of grace': the feeling experienced after receiving the Buddha's blessing