So he turned his hand back to take the golden pagoda from its stand and hold it as he asked Nezha, “What do you want to say to me, son? Why have you parried my sword with your broadsword?”

Throwing his broadsword down, Nezha kowtowed to his father as he replied, “Father, Your Majesty, there is a daughter of our family in the lower world.”

“My boy,” the heavenly king replied, “I have only had you four children. Where could I have got another daughter from?”

“You have forgotten, Your Majesty,” Nezha replied. “The girl was once an evil spirit. Three hundred years ago she became a monster. She stole and ate some of the Tathagata's incense, flowers and candles on Vulture Peak, and the Tathagata sent us to capture her with heavenly soldiers. When she was caught she should have been beaten to death, but the Tathagata said,

'Raise fish in deep water but never catch them;

Feed deer in the depths of the mountains in the hope of eternal life.'

So we spared her life. In her gratitude she bowed to you as her adoptive father, Your Majesty, and to me as her elder brother. She set up a tablet to us in the lower world to burn incense. I never imagined she'd become an evil spirit again and try to ruin the Tang Priest. Now Sun the Novice has trailed her to her den and brought the tablet up here to use in a case against us before the Jade Emperor. She is your adopted daughter, not my real sister.”

This came as a terrible shock to the heavenly king. “Son,” he said, “I really had forgotten. What's she called?”

“She has three names,” the prince replied. Where she originally came from she was called Gold-nosed White-haired Mouse Spirit. Then she was called Half-Bodhisattva-Guanyin because she had stolen the incense, flowers and candles. When she was forgiven and sent down to the lower world she changed her name again and became Lady Earth-gusher.” Only then did the heavenly king come to his senses. He put his pagoda down and started to untie Monkey himself. At this Monkey started playing it up.

“Don't you dare try to untie me!” he said. “If you want to do something you can carry me roped up as I am to see the emperor. Then I'll win my case.” The heavenly king felt weak from terror and the prince could say nothing. Everybody fell back.

The Great Sage meanwhile was rolling about and playing it up, insisting that the heavenly king take him to the emperor. The heavenly king could do nothing except beg the Metal Planet to put in a good word for him.

“There is an old saying,” the planet replied, “that one should always be lenient. You went too far: you tied him up and were going to kill him. The monkey is a notorious trouble-maker. How do you expect me to deal with him? From what your worthy son has said, she is your daughter, even though adopted rather than your own, and a child by adoption is especially dear. However one argues it you are guilty.”

“Surely you can find some way of putting in a good word for me and helping me off the hook, venerable planet,” said the heavenly king.

“I would like to end the quarrel between you,” the planet replied, “but I have never done him a good turn that I can remind him of.”

“Tell him how it was you who proposed that he should be amnestied and given an official post,” said the heavenly king.

The Metal Planet did then step forward, stroke Brother Monkey and say, “Great Sage, won't you let us take the rope off before going to see the emperor, just for my sake?”

“No need to bother, old man,” Monkey replied. “I'm a good roller and I can roll all the way there.”

“You've got no decent feelings, you monkey,” said the planet with a smile. “I did you some good turns in the old days, but you won't do this little thing for me.”

“What good turn did you ever do me?” Monkey asked.

“When you were a monster on the Mountain of Flowers and Fruit you subdued tigers and dragons, forcibly removed yourself from the register of death and assembled hordes of fiends to run wild and wreak havoc. Heaven wanted to have you arrested. It was only because I made strong representations that an edict of amnesty and recruitment was issued and you were summoned to Heaven to be appointed Protector of the Horses. You drank some of the Jade Emperor's wine of immortality, and it was only because I made strong representations again that you were given the title of Great Sage Equaling Heaven. But you refused to know your place. You stole the peaches and the wine and robbed Lord Lao Zi of his elixir, and so it went on till you ended up in a state of no death and no birth. If it hadn't been for me you'd never have got where you are today.”

“As the ancients put it,” Monkey replied, “'Don't even share a grave with an old man when you're dead: all he'll do is complain.' I was just a Protector of the Horses who made havoc in the heavenly palace: there was nothing much apart from that. Oh well, never mind. I'll show you a bit of consideration as you're such an old man. He can untie me himself.” Only then did the heavenly king dare step forward, untie the rope, and ask Brother Monkey to dress and take the seat of honour while they all took it in turn to pay their respects to him.

“Old man,” Monkey said to the Metal Planet, “what about it then? I told you I lose first and win later. That's my way of doing business. Make him hurry and see the emperor: delay could be disastrous for my master.”

“Don't be impatient,” the Metal Planet said. “After everything that's happened we should take a cup of tea.”

“If you drink his tea, accept favours from him, take a bribe to let a criminal escape, and treat imperial edicts with disrespect I wonder what you'll be charged with,” Monkey replied.

“I won't stop for tea,” the Metal Planet replied, “I won't stop for tea. You're even trying to frame me. Hurry up, Heavenly King Li, we must be on our way.” The heavenly king dared not go for fear that Monkey would concoct some unfounded story and start playing it up: if Monkey started talking wildly he would be unable to argue against him. So once again the heavenly king pleaded with the Metal Planet to put in a good word for him.

“I have a suggestion to make,” the planet said to Monkey. “Will you follow it?”

“I've already agreed about being tied up and hacked at,” Monkey replied. “What else have you to say? Tell me! Tell me! If it's a good idea I'll follow it; and if it isn't, don't blame me.”

“'Fight a lawsuit for one day and it'll go on for ten,'“ said the Metal Planet. “You brought a case before the emperor saying that the evil spirit is the heavenly king's daughter and the heavenly king says she isn't. You two will argue endlessly in front of His Majesty, but I tell you that a day in heaven is a year in the lower world. In that year the evil spirit will have your master under her control in the cave, and she won't just have married him. By then there may have been a happy event and she may have had a little baby monk. Then your great enterprise will be ruined.”

“Yes,” thought Monkey, his head bowed, “when I left Pig and Friar Sand I said I'd be back in the time it takes to cook a meal at longest and at quickest before they could make a cup of tea. I've been ages already and it might be too late. Old man,” he said aloud, “I'll take your advice. How do we obey this imperial decree?”

“Have Heavenly King Li muster his troops and go down with you to subdue the demon,” the Metal Planet replied, “while I report back to the emperor.”

“What will you say?” Monkey asked.

“I'll report that the plaintiff has absconded and that the defendant is therefore excused,” the planet replied.

“That's very fine,” said Monkey with a grin. “I show you consideration and you accuse me of absconding. Tell him to muster his troops and wait for me outside the Southern Gate of Heaven while you and I report back on our mission.”