The king was delighted to hear this exposition, and all the court officials exclaimed with admiration, “That's splendid, 'the Way alone has always been esteemed.'“ Sanzang was overcome by humiliation at all this praise going to his rival. The king then told his department of foreign relations to lay on a banquet of vegetarian food for the monks from a far country when they left the city to travel West.

Sanzang thanked the king for his kindness and withdrew. As he was leaving the throne hall and going out of the palace Monkey flew down from the top of his mitre to say into his ear, “Master, the Elder of the Nation is an evil spirit, and the king has been bewitched. Go back to the hostel and wait for your meal while I get some information here.”

Sanzang understood this and left through the main gates of the palace.

Of him we will say no more. Watch Monkey as he flies straight to a jade screen in the throne hall and lands on it. From the ranks of officials the military commanders of the capital stepped forward to report, “Your Majesty, last night a cold wind carried away the little boys in their goose coops from every house in every ward of the city. They have vanished without a trace, coops and all.”

This report both alarmed and angered the king, who said to the Elder of the Nation, “Heaven must be destroying us. We had the good fortune to be given the formula for your elixir after months of serious illness that the royal physicians have been unable to cure. We were preparing to have the boys cut open at noon today and their hearts taken out to be made into the adjuvant for the elixir. Never did we imagine that a cold wind would blow them all away. If this is not Heaven destroying us what is it?”

“Don't upset yourself,” the Elder of the Nation replied with a smile. “By blowing them away Heaven is giving Your Majesty eternal life.”

“How can you maintain that Heaven is giving me eternal life when they have just been blown away?” the king asked.

“When I was coming to court this morning,” the Elder of the Nation replied, “I saw a uniquely marvellous adjuvant that will be far superior to 1,111 little boys' hearts. They would only lengthen Your Majesty's life by a thousand years, but if you take my elixir with this other adjuvant you can live for a hundred million years.”

The king was mystified about what this adjuvant could be, but only after repeated questions did the Elder of the Nation reply, “The monk from the East who is being sent to fetch the scriptures has pure organs and regular features. His is the body of one who has cultivated his conduct for ten lifetimes. He has been a monk since childhood and has preserved his masculine purity, which all makes him ten thousand times better than those little boys. If you can make a decoction from his heart with which to take my elixir I can guarantee you an extremely long life.”

When the deluded king heard this he believed it completely. “Why didn't you tell us before?” he said to the Elder of the Nation. “If it's as good as you say we should have kept him when he was here just now and not let him go.”

“This will present no problem,” the Elder of the Nation said. “You have already told the department of foreign relations to give him a vegetarian banquet. He can't possibly leave the city before eating the meal. Urgent orders must be issued to have the gates firmly closed. Send troops to surround the government hostel and bring that monk here. First we will try to win his heart by treating him with courtesy. If he agrees we will cut it out and give him a royal burial, build him a temple and make offerings to him. If he will not agree we'll use rough methods. We can tie him up and cut it out. There will be no problem.” The deluded ruler accepted this suggestion and ordered that all the gates be closed. He then sent the officers and men of the royal guard to surround the hostel.

Having found all this out Monkey flew straight to the hostel, turned back into himself and said to the Tang Priest, “Something terrible's happened, Master, something terrible.” Sanzang had just begun to eat the king's vegetarian banquet with Pig and Friar Sand when this sudden announcement scattered his three bodily spirits and made smoke come out of his seven orifices. He collapsed in the dust, pouring with sweat, and unable to see clearly or speak.

Friar Sand was so alarmed he came forward to help him back to his feet, calling, “Wake up, Master, wake up.”

“What's so terrible?” Pig asked. “What's so terrible? You should have broken the news gently instead of giving the master such a scare.”

“When the master left the palace I went back to keep an eye on things,” Monkey replied. “That Elder of the Nation is an evil spirit. A moment later the city garrison came to report about the cold wind carrying the little boys away. This upset the king, but the Elder of the Nation cheered him up by saying that this was Heaven giving him eternal life. He wants to use your heart as an adjuvant for the elixir of immortality, Master. The deluded king has accepted this wicked suggestion and ordered his best troops to surround this hostel. He's also sent an aide to ask you for your heart, Master.”

“What a merciful and compassionate chap you are,” said Pig with a laugh. “You saved the boys and made the wind blow all right, but now you've got us in this disastrous mess.”

Trembling and shaking, Sanzang dragged himself to his feet, seized hold of Monkey and said imploringly, “Good disciple, how are we to get out of this?”

“If you want to get out of this,” said Monkey, “there'll have to be a switch.”

“What do you mean by a switch?” Friar Sand asked.

“If you want to survive,” Monkey replied, “the disciple will have to become the master and the master the disciple. Do that and we'll be safe.”

“Save my life,” said Sanzang, “and I will gladly become your disciple or even your disciple's disciple.”

“In that case there must be no hesitation,” Monkey replied, continuing, “Pig, mix up some mud at once.” The idiot loosened some earth with his rake then, not daring to go outside for water, lifted his tunic to make some water himself. With this he mixed up a lump of foul-smelling mud that he handed to Monkey. Monkey had no option but to beat it out flat and press it against his face so that it looked like a monkey's face. Then he told his master to stand up and neither move nor say anything while he placed the mask on his face, said the words of a spell, blew a magic breath and said, “Change!”

The venerable elder now looked just like Monkey. He took off his own clothes and put on Monkey's while Monkey dressed in his master's clothes, made a spell with his hands, said the magic words, shook himself and made himself look just like the Tang Priest. Even Pig and Friar Sand could not tell that he really was not.

Just when they had completed the disguises together there came the sound of gongs and drums as a dense forest of spears and swords appeared. The commanders of the royal guard had surrounded the hostel with their three thousand men. A royal aide came into the main hall of the hostel to ask, “Where is the reverend gentleman from the Tang court in the East?”

The superintendent of the hostel anxiously fell to his knees and said, pointing, “In the guest room over there.”

The aide then went into the room and said, “Venerable elder from Tang, His Majesty has sent for you.”

Pig and Friar Sand stood on either side of the imitation Monkey to guard him while the imitation Tang Priest went out through the door, bowed and said, “Your Excellency, what does His Majesty wish to say to me? Why has he sent for me?” The aide stepped forward to grab hold of him and say, “You and I are going to the palace. His Majesty must have some use for you.” Alas!

Wickedness was stronger than goodness and mercy;