Just at that time a case filled the public journals. It was a charge of rape on a married woman, against a man lodging in the same house. She was the wife of a printer on the staff of a daily paper, who came home extremely late; she always went to be leaving her door unlocked, so that her husband might get in directly he came home. The lodger was a friend of her husband's, and knew the custom of leaving the door unlocked,-in fact he was a fellow-printer.
She awakened in the night with the man between her thighs, had opened them readily, thinking it was her husband. It appears to have been her habit, and such her husband's custom on returning home, or so she said. The lodger had actually all but finished his fuck, before she awakened sufficiently to find out that it was not the legitimate prick which was probing her. Then she alarmed the house, and gave the man in charge for committing a rape. The papers delicately hinted that the operation was complete before the woman discovered the mistake, — but of course it left much to the reader's imagination.
Fred read this aloud. I knew more, for the counsel of the prisoner was my intimate friend. He had told me that the prisoner had had her twice, that she had spent with him; that he had often said he meant to go in, and have her, that she had dared him to do it, and that she only made a row when she thought she heard her husband at the door on the landing, although it was two hours before his usual time of return. His prick was in her when she began her outcry.
With laughter and smutty allusions we discussed the case. “Absurd”, said Laura, “she must have known it was not her husband.” “Why?” “Why because—”, and Laura stopped. “If you were asleep, and suddenly felt a man on you of about my size, and his prick up you, very likely you would not tell if it were mine or not”, said Fred. Laura threw an apple at his head. Decency was banished from that moment, a spade was called a spade, and unveiled baudiness reigned.
“I should know if it were not you”, said Lady A... looking at Lord A... “How?” “All! I should, — should you not know another woman from Laura, if you got into bed with two women in the dark?” said she to Fred. “I am not sure for the moment if with a woman just her size, and as much hair on her cunt”, said he. “I tell you what Fred, I won't have it”, said Laura ill-tempered, “talk about some one else, I won't have beastly talk about me.” “I'll bet”, said I, “that if the ladies were to feel our pricks in the dark, they would not tell whose they each had hold of.” Roars of laughter followed. “I should like to try”, said Mabel. “So would I”, said another. “Would you know, if you felt us?” said one women. “If I felt all your cunts in the dark, I'll bet I should know Marie's”, said Lord A.... “That is if you felt all round and about”, said Fred, “but not if she opened her legs, and you only felt the notch.” “I think I should.” “Why?-is she different from others?” Lord A.... was going to say something, when Marie told him to shut up.
So we went on, the men in lascivious language, the women in more disguised terms, discussing the probabilities of distinguishing cunts or pricks by a simple feel in the dark. Each remark caused roars of laughter, the women whispered to each other, and laughed at their own sayings. Lewdness had seized us all, the women's eyes were brilliant with voluptuous desire. More wine was drunk, “Call it by its proper name”, said Lord A.... when Marie remarked that a woman must know her own man's thing. “Prick then.” “I will bet five pounds that Mabel would not guess my prick in the dark, if she felt all of us”, said I. “And I'll bet”, said another. “Shall we try?” said Fred. “Yes”, said Mabel more fuddled than the rest. Baudier and baudier, we talked, laughed, and drank, and at length set to work to make rules for trying, all talking at once.
One proposed one way, one another. “I can't tell unless I feel balls as well”, said a woman. “Will they be stiff when we feel?” said another. “Mine will”, said Fred, “it's stiff already.” “So is mine”, added I.
“How shall we know where to put our hands, if we are in the dark?” said Lady A.... “If a man is in front of you, you will find it fast enough”, answered some one. Laura had now yielded to the baudy contagion, and made no objection, though Mabel and Lady A.... were the most forward. Then Lord A... rang the bell, and told his valet he might go out for the night, and his house-keeper and maid they might go to bed, which they did at the top of the house, as we supposed. The sequel proved that to be doubtful, and that they must have had a most edifying night.
After lewd squabbles, we arranged that each man was to give the woman if she guessed the prick right, ten pounds; the men were to be naked, the women to feel all the men's cocks, and give a card to him whose prick she thought she knew. The room was to be dark. No man was to speak, or give any indication by laughing, coughing, or any other way, under penality of paying all the bets. The women were to lose if they spoke, or gave indications of who they were.
I took three cards, and wrote the name of a lady on each of them. Then each lady took her card, and they went upstairs to the bed-room pell-mell and laughing. The women were to stand of a row in a certain order against a side of the room, we to follow in an order they did not know. They were to feel all pricks twice, each giving her card to the man at the second feel, if she knew the prick. We undressed to our shirts, took off our rings, so as to leave no indications, and in that condition entered the room. The dining-room door we closed, there was no light on the first-floor lobby, nor in the bed-room, for we had put out the fire there. So holding each other by the shoulder, we entered, closed the door, and we were all in the room together in the dark.
We lifted our shirts, and closed on the women, each of whom in her turn felt our pricks. One felt mine as if she meant to pull it off. On the second feeling, we got somehow mixed, a slight tittering of women began, some one hished, and the tittering ceased. Two hands touched me at the same time, but one withdrew directly she touched the other's hand. A card was put into my hand, afterwards another card touched me, and was withdrawn. After waiting a minute I nudged the man next me. “Have you all given cards?” shouted out the man. “Yes”, shouted the three women at once. Then we all burst out laughing, and the men went downstairs, leaving the women all talking at once like Bedlam broke loose.
Looking at our cards, we found that each women had guessed rightly her man's prick; but we changed our cards, and called out to the women who came rushing down like mad. “Not one of you has guessed right”, said I, “you have all lost your bets.” “I'll swear I'm right”, said Lady A. . ., “it's Adolphus that I gave my card to.” This set us all questioning at once. “What makes you so sure?” “She says it's very long and thin”, said Mabel, “and so it is.” “Hold your tongue”, said Marie. “I felt it”, said Mabel. “They all seemed the same to me”, said Laura, “and one of you pushed my hand away.” “It was I”, said Fred, „you wanted to feel too much, you nearly frigged me,” “Oh ! what a lie.” Then we told the truth, and that each women had won, which caused much noisy satisfaction, then we had more wine, we men still with naked legs.
I have told all I can recollect with exactitude, but there was lots more said and done. Fred pulled up Lord A...'s shirt, his cock was not stiff. “That's not as it was when I felt it”, said Mabel. “You've guessed pricks, but for all that you would not know who fucked you in the dark.” “We should”, cried out all the women. “Let's try”, said Lord A... “All right”, said Mabel. “We are not prostitutes”, said Laura. “A little free fucking will be jolly, let's take turns about all round”, said Fred. Then the room resounded with our laughter, all spoke baudily at once, every second, “prick”, “cunt”, “fuck”, was heard from both men and women, — it was a perfect Babel of lasciviousness.