I was sleepless. After an hour or two I longed to see them side by side, that strange contrast in age and size, to try the difference with my finger as I had with my prick. She brought in the child, sleepy and peevish, I plunged my prick in the little one, took it out, and put it into the woman. It was a delight to feel the difference, — the room in one, the confinement in the other's cunt.

The aunt annoyed me by putting her hand between our bellies to prevent my penetrating too far. It was not the stretching, nor the plugging, it was the boring too deeply which hurt the little one, she said.

I laid on my back and put the little one's belly upon me; stretching her little thighs, I felt round them; and guided my prick up her, then the aunt put her fingers round my prick and squeezed my balls. How funny to have that little creature on the top of me; how funny to be able to feel at the same time a big hairy cunt at my side. Such thoughts and emotions finished me, and after spending in the little one, she again went to the sofa, then with my arse to the aunt's arse we went to sleep.

She was the youngest I ever yet have had, or have wished to have. We laid abed till about mid-day. I fucked as much as I ever did in my life, and found that a tiny cunt although it might satisfy a letch, could not give the pleasure that a full developed woman could. Tight as it was, it had not that peculiar suction, embrace, and grind, that a full-grown woman's or girl's has. When I was getting drier and drier, the old one stiffened my prick, and I put it into the child; but oscillate my arse as I might, I could not get a spend out of me; then in the aunt's clipping though well stretched cunt, I got my pleasure in no time. A fuck is barely a fuck if a man's prick is but half up a girl, it wants engulfing. A very young girl never has the true jerk of her arse, nor the muscular clip in her cunt; so if a languid prick be put up it, it will slip out, unless the letch be strong; whereas a flab-by, done-for prick, once in the cunt of a grown women may be resuscitated, and made to give pleasure to both, if she uses the muscular power which nature has given her between bum-hole, buttocks, and navel.

We eat and drank, I paid liberally, and with empty ballocks and a flabby tool went away. White trowsers and a black tail-coat were then full evening dress at Vauxhall; but ludicrous in the day. I recollect feeling ashamed as I walked out in that dress in the sun-shine. She would not fetch a cab as she was most anxious about noise. She gave me full instructions where to write and have the girl again. About a fortnight after-wards I made an appointment, but she did not keep it. I went to the house and asked for her; a woman opened the door. “Do you know her?” said she. “Yes.” “She is not here, and I don't know where she has gone,-perhaps you're as bad as she is”, and she slammed the door in my face. A few years passed away before I took a letch for a hairless cunt again, — and then I was a poor man.

We went to Vauxhall on an ordinary night, and I showed Fred where I had heard and seen the girls make water. Laura I got to like, and she to like me which led to something at a later date. In about three weeks or more I went back to my aunt's, through an indefinable longing to poke in a quiet intriguing way, the women I had had there. In London I had changed my women twice a day, and fucked every nice French women who walked in Regent Street.

My mother was again going to see my aunt, and was delighted that I would go with her. Fred had gone to Paris with Laura, and wanted me to go, but money was getting short with me, for I had been heavily robbed, and as ten pounds a day (a large sum then) was the usual cost of Paris to me, I declined, and to the old Hall went with mother.

I did not see nursemaid or page. “You have a new nursemaid for Joey,” said I to my aunt. “We dismissed the other, we found her to be an improper character, —and Robert has gone, — he was too big”, said she. For two or three days I could not get Pender, who MY 'SECRET LIFE looked miserable when I met her, shook her head, and looked up to the skies. I went with my mother and aunt to the farm one day, Pender for a second stopped behind, and said to me in a hurried whisper, “I am in the family way”, and then ran after my aunt.

Next day I saw her for a second. “Meet me next Sunday at * * *”. “I must”, said she. We had no opportunity of speaking before, for her husband or some one was always in the way. To make sure I next day slipped an envelope into her hand, in which was one addressed to myself, and a scribble asking her to say where I was to meet her. It came back by post containing in execrable writing the words, “My dear, same time, and place, if he be out, on Saturday night.” I did not comprehend, but waited outside her cottage that night. She did not show. On Sunday I went to ***, and long after eleven she appeared. Soon we were in the room over the beer-shop.

“I am in the family way, whatever shall I do?” I had thought over this, and replied, “Well, you have a husband, so it does not matter.” “I don't think he will believe it's his.” “He can't say it is not, and will be proud of it.” “That may be true, I did not think of that”, said she, and until I had fucked her I learn't no more.

I referred to the change in the servants at the Hall. “Oh !” said Pender eagerly, “there has been a row; do you recollect the nursemaid?-well they saw her feeling — hoh ! hoh !” — she burst out laughing, — “feeling the page's thing,-hoh ! ho ! ho !” “Feeling his prick?” “Yes, — ho ! ho ! ho !-and Missus turned her and page out the same night,-ho ! ho ! ho !” laughed Pender. “She was a dirty hussy.” “Why?” “Why a woman like that to be taking liberties with a boy like that, a hobble-de-hoy; poor Molly told me that one day when he came here he pulled out his thing before her.” “What, Molly?” said I, thinking the young girl had had manifold temptations. “Yes, poor thing.” “Why poor thing?” “Well I am sorry for her; I told Missus about the young squire as you told me, and Missus told her mother to look sharp after her, — and so she did, and found that she used to get out of a night and meet Giles,-you know Giles?” “No I don't”, said I lying. “He works here sometimes, you must have seen him”, said Pender. “No.” “Well he works here, is a likely young chap, but Molly's mother hates him, —well she watched and watched, till one night she caught them, and him on top of her in the large barn, —he had got through the wicket on the far-yard wicket.” “How could she do that?” Pender explained to me what I knew perfectly well.

“On the top of her?” “Yes they were a doing it, —and she hit him hard on the head with a stick, and nearly stunned him before they knew she were there.” “Who hit?” “Why her mother, he were nearly insensible.

“Then Mrs. Brown asked me what to do, and I said he had better marry her, and she said he should not. So she went to Missus, asked her advice, and on account of Molly's character to say nothing about finding Giles taking liberties with her daughter. Missus said Giles at the end of the week was to be sent off, —and he's gone. Mrs. Brown scarcely lets Molly out of the house, and when I sees her I laughs to myself. That a young thing like that has had it done to her. Her mother told me you know, — I have sworn to tell nobody, but I don't mind telling you.” “She has seen two pricks”, said I, “page Robert's and Giles' ”. “Yes she has.”

I wondered whether he had spent when he felt the stick on his head. “I think he had”, said she, “for Mrs. Brown said she found his stuff on her child's chemise. Every day there is a row between them, Molly says she will go to service, her mother says she shan't, and that she will turn out a bunter, and bring her in her age with sorrow to the grave. Poor thing.”

“Pugh”, said I, “why make such a fuss about such a natural action?” “Well it be natural”, said Pender, “but she might have waited, she is very young.”