Nothing is so irritating as spending outside a long coveted cunt, when another thrust or two would have left the sperm up it,-it is maddening. I could think of nothing but the girl; although I had barely felt, and had seen nothing of her charms, she seemed to me perfection. For a day or two I got no chance, so I wrote on a bit of paper, “You will get into a mess, unless you meet me to-night; I'll be in the barn at eight o'clock; come in through the wicket”, — or something to that effect. It was intended to frighten her, for she avoided me. I pushed the note into her hands at the Hall.

I walked through the farm-yard, afterwards and saw her, she shook her head as I passed. I said rapidly, —Pender was in sight, — “You had better.” In the evening I hid myself in the loft, allowed the barn-doors to be closed, and should have had to stay all night there if some one had not undone one of the wickets; they fastened them outside.

I had been there a long time, it was dark. “I am in here till to-morrow morning”, I thought, and walked up and down barely restraining myself from frigging, such was my state of lust. It was possible that circum stances might prevent her from coming, and I had given up hope, when the wicket opened, It was she; she came up into the loft; I caught her in my arms.

“What do you want? — you ain't a going to tell? — you ain't heard anybody say anything?” said she. I could not see, but felt her tears, reassured her, told her I loved her: who would know but us two? “What harm have I done you?” said the poor girl, “Giles is going to marry me, that's different, — oh ! don't now.” I had pushed her on to some hay, threatening her one minute, coaxing her the next.

I was feeling her. My hand was roving over a plump little bum and belly, my finger entered a tight little split on which was a little crisp hair, my prick followed my finger, and on the new sweet hay, belly to belly, but not mouth to mouth (she would not kiss), my prick revelled in a cunt which seemed divine, and was soon drowned in a pond of its own making.

“Mother's better, and has gone down the lane to Pender's”, said she, “if she comes back she will won-der where I am, — let me go.” I would not, until I had again enjoyed her; and then the lass enjoyed me. She unclosed the wicket in the rick-yard which let me out. I got across a field into the lane, went past the farm-gates, and there stood Molly with her mother. “Good night”, said I to the mother, then passing Pender's cottage, I went round, and up to the Hall.

I thought that having fucked Molly I should be contented; but the little cunt, the little hair, the small bum, made me want Molly again. I could not get her, she evidently did not wish for me; I had had her against her will, and so had her again afterwards. Perhaps only seemingly against her will, for though she resisted, and accused me of breaking my word, she had spent with me, and was to spend again, perhaps in spite of herself.

I cannot recollect the name of Molly's swain, though I have tried hard, so call him Giles, — it is a bumpkin's name.

Chapter VIII

Field women. • Fred at home. • Smith, the field foreman. • A rape of a juvenile. • Funking consequences. • Nelly consents. • Fred looks on.

Strolling into the fields one day, idly smoking my cigar later on in the year, groups of girls and women were at work. I talked to the field foreman and looked at the girls, especially the younger ones, and wondered if they had smaller cunts than Molly; of one whether she had any hair on her cunt at all. Some were apparently not more than twelve years of age. I longed to see their cunts, and joked with one or two of the larger girls; but a decided longing for young cunts had set in on me. “Pender”, said I one day, “what a lot of fast-looking chits there are in the fields.” “They are a bad lot”, said she, “there is one gal there only just fourteen in the family way.” I was just going to fuck Pender, and daresay finished quickly enough, for at that age if I was fucking, and thought of anything very baudy; with a sudden spasm I spent right off, even if I had only just got my cock up. Indeed women used to say to me, “How quick you are; why did you not wait for me?”

What with Molly, Pender, and nursemaid I was so well kept in cunt, that I only occasionally went back to London. I had dissipated a large part of my for-tune; fucking here had not then cost me five pounds, so that besides the novelty and delight of the intrigues and the risks I ran, it was economical; and things might have gone on so, when back came my cousin Fred.

A wide-awake fellow was Fred. When my aunt said how delighted they all were to see me so steady, and had never seen me enjoy myself so much at the Hall before, he stared. “He goes often”, said aunt, “with me to the dairy.” “Yes and pats the cows”, said a cousin. Fred winked at me, and when we were alone said, “What's your little game Walter, where are you cunting now old fellow?” “Cunt”, said I, “is of no use, my clap's not gone; but thank God I think it's getting all right again.” He was quite taken in. “You have done the best thing you could,” said he “there is nothing here much to excite you, no woman worth having, is there?”

We wandered daily over the farm and grounds, smoking and talking; he had been so much away, that faces were unfamiliar to him. “What a skinny bitch that is with Joey.” said he (that was nursemaid). “That's a fine woman”, said I indicating Pender. “Yes”, said he, “I recollect before she was married trying to grope her, and she nearly knocked me over.” “I would not mind having her.” “No chance for you my boy. Ah! has not that little Molly grown”, said he with a laugh, “I have often seen the little devil's arse, and her cunt too when a child, playing about the place, — she is nice : I think I'll have a try on her.” “Aunt's partial to her”, said I. “Don't care.” “She is very young.” “Tighter cunt, and more to teach”, replied he, — and I noticed he began to be very sweet to Molly afterwards.

One morning we walked into the fields, the fore-man came up and saluted us. He had been on the farm before Fred and I were born. “Well Smith”, said Fred, “still at the old games, — any bastards lately?” “Oi am tow ould for that now Master.” “Perhaps the girls don't like poking now?” “Oi they do, but they doon't like me as they did.” Smith (my cousin told me), had had the credit all his life of poking all the agricultural laborers, and had been threatened with dismissal on account of it. “He might have had a worse berth”, said I, “there are half-a-dozen girls in the field I would not mind sleeping with.” “Why don't you have them ?” said Fred. “I don't want to lose my character here.” “That be damned, you can always have a field-girl, nobody cares, —I have had a dozen or two.”

I turned this over in my mind. We were again in the fields, on the way there he gave me a long account of how old Sarah used to wink at his having the field-girls; and indeed I had often heard him tell it. “You tell him you would like any one, and see what will come of it.” There was a pretty sun-burnt girl about fifteen years of age that had given me a cock-stand. “That's a pretty girl Smith, I'd give a sovereign to have her, — is she loose?” “Don't think so yet squire, she be skittish; her sister's not fourteen, and they say she be in the family way, when one sister takes to it squire, the others generally do.” “Where do you pay their wages?” I asked. The old fellow leered at me. “Why you be a taken a leaf out of young squire's book sir (it was Fred's advice); I pays them next at the root-stores”, a shed about a quarter of a mile from the farm-yard, and in which he had a desk. The women waited outside the shed, each being called in and paid in succession. They were paid every night, excepting in hay-making times.

At pay time I strolled into the shed. One by one he paid. The girl I wanted came last. He told her he wanted her to take a parcel to the village. “Yes sir”, said she. Off old Smith went to fetch the parcel,-it was the dodge, Fred told me so afterwards, the old goat always adopted to get a girl left alone with him.