“Did any man sleep with Mrs. German last night?” I asked. I had been several times in the room with the house-keeper before, but had never asked any question, knowing that I should only get a lie in reply. — “No.” — “Someone did, now.” — “Yes, some one did.” “You told me just now no one did.” — “Oh no I didn't, you said a man — I slept with Mrs. German;” — She told me that when her mistress was alone, she slept with her, and that was most frequently, for that she only let one or two men sleep all night with her.
Then I rattled on, forgetting quite that I was waiting for Mrs. German — did they sleep naked together as I did with her? Had she as little hair down there as her mistress? I knew it was dark whilst Amelia's was light. Did she cuddle her? — Mrs. A*t*n answered those, and a lot of other questions, quite discreetly and evasively, said she slept with her because she was timid. She did her hair — dried her after her bath, did all sorts of things for her to make her comfortable, for she had been very kind to her. I hesitated to say it, but at length, — “You've seen her cunt I expect.” — “Of course.” — “You've frigged her.” — “Don't be a beast and ask me such questions,” said Mrs. * * * *, all on a sudden turning half indignant. “Well, don't tell Amelia what I've been saying.” — “It's not likely that I shall.”
That somehow encouraged me. I got up and kissed her. “Don't tell her that,” and I tried a feel. — “Don't be foolish sir,” — “Let me, my prick's bursting, and I can't wait for Mrs. German — look.” — Out I pulled my pego on a state of high inflammation, — “Don't you now be foolish — I won't feel it. — She'll be in directly, or the servants will, — Don't — I'll tell her — now don't you.” — I was standing up now. She still sitting with feet on the fender. I stooped quickly, ran my left hand up her petticoats, and touched her cunt in a trice, holding her back in the chair with my right hand whilst I felt with the other. She did not resist much, did not even close her thighs, and my hand easily covered the whole slit from clitoris to vagina. I kissed on and fumbled about, and thrust a finger up her cunt for a minute, she half laughing. Then she closed her thighs. — “No, leave off, that's enough, you did not come here for that.”
Relinquishing her quim, “Let's do it,” I said. — “No, that I won't.” — “You shall.” — “Mrs. German may come in at any minute.” — Well she can't get in with-out ringing.” — “Yes she can, she has the latch key.” — “I'll bolt the street door.” — She didn't say no. — I bolted it, and returned. She now was standing by the table, I pulled her on to the sofa and felt her cunt again. — “You'll never tell Amelia.” — “Never, how can you think I should be such an ass.” — “I don't know about that.” — Not another word she spoke, but laid hold of my prick which had been out all the time, we kissed, she laid in a hurry almost her length on the sofa, I threw up her clothes, saw that it was a dark, fully haired cunt, as I guessed it must be and the next minute my prick was at work up it we were fucking energetically, and finished our pleasures at the same moment. — Said she as she arose. — “If Amelia knew about this, she'd turn me out the next minute — so don't you do me that harm, God knows I've had enough misery.”
I felt immediately as if I had been treacherous to Amelia. — Of course that was very foolish, but I did. — Mrs. A*t*n went to the kitchen and washed her cunt, came up, sat down on the sofa, and said that if her mistress was not home soon, probably she wouldn't be home till late, as she had gone to dine with a friend, and might go from there to the Argyle rooms, but I had better leave. — I wouldn't go. — If she came in she could say I hadn't been there long. “We'll do it again.” — Mrs. A. was of opinion evidently, that in for a penny in for a pound was a good motto, and tho she had told me to go, was awaiting another cunt basting. She wouldn't undress, but all that could be seen by lifting her petticoats above her waist I saw. All I could see and feel by loosening her dress above, I did. I investigated her cunt, held a candle to look at it, and a good, bold looking cock trap it was. She helped me quite willingly in my inspection for she had nothing to hide, till I took a candle. Then she resisted. Directly I had satisfied my eye-sight, — “You'd better make haste,” she said, and laid down with thighs wide open. She was either hot cunted or fearful of her mistress returning, and I think both, but certainly hot cunted — and as I feared being interrupted by Amelia's return I shagged her again at once.
“You like fucking jolly well,” — I remarked. — “Who doesn't, but it's brought me to grief, I'd vowed never to let a man again.” — “Gammon, my dear.” — Her re-mark might have been a pumper — and I had prom- ised Amelia never to tell her companion what she had told me about her and never did. Then Mrs. A*** begged me to go. The servants would certainly be in soon, if I went off at once she should never say I had even called, that would be best, and I was never to tell Mrs. Amelia about my having done so. Off I went, called at the Argyle, saw Amelia there, told her I had merely looked in to see her, and went home.
Soon after, in conversation with Amelia, she told me that she felt timid, and frightened of being robbed or worse if she slept by herself, and that Mrs. A*t*n usually slept with her. “Does she gamahuche you?” — Amelia gave me a slap. — “Oh you beast, no. — I don't like women — I like poking too well.” — Certainly she did that, there was no mistake about her voluptuous delight in coition, nor in her spending freely with me, but then might she not have liked the other variety of lustful enjoyment as well?
I told Amelia that I saw no objection to women amusing each other sexually if they liked, but she affected dislike — or really felt it. Did she? These thoughts only occur to me as I think over matters, and write this narrative, and [still more as I revise them after many years], Amelia was a quietly voluptuous woman, Venus in all ways pleased her I am sure, and it is more than probable that she had Sapphic tastes as well as lechery for men, tho the double taste I believe is unusual, but there are such singular sexual idiosyncrasies. — If she liked a woman for lustful games, it did not prevent her getting in the family way by a man.
Other females, however, had my caresses. I did not keep to Amelia, nor disguise that from her. Then I went abroad (I put this part of my narrative separate- ly) and when I returned, Amelia was in the family way by her caprain. In vain I told her before it was too late that she had better get rid of the foetus. No, she was delighted. — It was his, he knew it was his — he had stopped with her an entire month — she had had no other man all that time, and he wished for a child by her, said he would keep it, and so on. It was to me al-most incredible, that a woman with such experience as she must have had, young as she was, should have believed all that. — But she did. Now he was supplying her with plenty of money and did not wish her to see any other man. His regiment was ordered to * * * * and he could not see her for many months. I guessed how all that would end, but attempted no more to destroy the happy illusion she was under. — She was fond of the captain, poor thing. But whatever the captain might have been, or whatever her promises, it did not prevent Amelia from fucking heartily with me. Her enjoyment of my prick indeed got intense. She certainly ceased going to the Argyle almost entirely.
I like to see all of a nice woman when I have once had her, and altho I did not really care about her, got Mrs. A*t*n to a baudy house, and passed about four hours with her there. Having made several calls hoping to find Amelia out, and to have Mrs. A*t*n, I failed in doing so. Difficulty in some cases increases desire, and it was so with me now. I thought that I longed exceedingly to have the woman, so wrote her, and slipped it into her hands when I called, and told her where to write to me. She named a day, and eleven o'clock in the morning. It is funny that the woman never appeared to leave the house, I never found her out of it, or heard of her going out, and she frequently was in the house alone. She said one day that she never wanted to go out, which I believe to have been a lie. I fancied she was hiding there, and feared to go out, tho my reasons for that belief are not very strong.