My desire for Polly came back, and I waited for her one or two evenings without seeing her, which in-creased my desire. At length I got her, and we had one or two glorious hard fucking evenings. Then I tired of short girls — little cunts, ragged stockings, and dirty linen. I avoided the lot, and never saw more of Polly Carter, but met Jemima about a year or two after-wards. — She was then gay — tho she said she still worked a little at the box business. I asked after Polly having a desire for her again. — She and her parents had gone to America. I fucked Jemima.

This bout was a pleasant variation, and helped to fill my imagination with a variety of lewed images. It was pleasant to think at the moment of voluptuous enjoyment, of the naked, tight little cunts, when my belly was closed on the thick haired motte of a full grown woman, and the curly hairs of her cunt were twining and twisting into the hairs on the root of my prick stem. (The past year as I look thro my manuscript, seems to have been one of the most fortunate in my career. The year before was nice and varied, tho spoiled perhaps on reflection by adultery with my cousin — but in its frequent change and variety of women, it cannot compare with this. Nice servants (for I had one or two about whom I have told nothing). A lady unmarried. A lady married — a lady kept — an amorous harlot — shop girls, three girls all under sixteen, and a little virgin, — so the sex from forty to sixteen years of age, I tailed — and what is to me more pleasurable than ever now, — with delight to all the recipients of my prick, as well as to myself. I scarcely touched gay ladies (and only saw Camille for a week or so), excepting when abroad and scarcely then. — I had a frenzied orgy in a park, and a libidinous curiosity about male sperm, which surprises me, tho I cannot say why, — for all curiosity about the smallest detail of sexual intercourse is legitimate. — It is fitting that man and woman should know all and every thing about copulation, if they desire to do so.)

But I have omitted many short amusements which I noted at the time at great a length, and abbreviate now, by saying that I often times when out late, gave women a trifle to feel their cunts, and then if they were able to accomplish it, a further gift if they would piddle over my fingers. It always delighted me to feel the sherry tinted jet strike on my fingers, fresh and warm as it issued from the cunt, and many a few minutes' gratification I had in fingering first, and taking the wash afterwards, and many a lady (and many well dressed enough) have I given a glass of wine to, and a cab fare, which she otherwise might not have got, ex- cepting for this letch of mine. — Yet I went home with none of these piddlers of whom I find record, nor did more than what is now described.

At the beginning of this year in the cold weather, this delight in seeing women piddle was strong on me. — I saw a couple of dozen do it in one week, and so much did the letch increase on me, that I longed to see women whom I had fucked do it, and went to see Camille for that purpose alone, tho many a time I had seen her evacuate it and had held the basin under her, and a candle near it, whilst she opened the flood gates of her bladder for my libidinosity. She upbraided me for not going to see her, and wondered what woman had supplanted her.

Chapter XVIII

Camille again. • The philosophy of fornication. • My plentitude of sperm. • A discharge on writing pa-per. • A woman in a hurry. • Light haired and veiled. • “Mind my chemise.” • A crop of crabs. • The effects of a good dinner. • The Haymarket at 1:30 a.m. • A cab fare asked for. • Half a crown for a hick. A frig for love in the street. • A fuck to follow. • A big Irishwoman. • Hairy as a King Charles. • A free examination. • A cunt of wondrous hirsuteness. • The Irishwoman is a riddle.

Again I sought Camille's society, who helped further to destroy any lingering prejudices I still had about the ways in which the sexes may use their genitals, either in giving pleasure to each other, or men with men, or women with women, and she told me so many erotic incidents of which she had heard or known, that I feel certain now that whatever men and women may say in public about this and that being immoral, dirty, abominable, and so on — that by themselves, they give free reins to their lusts, and gratify their sensuality in any way which they find gives them pleasure. Who can object to this. Your body is your own, and you may use it as you like. Its usage concerns no one else but its owner, and whether the individual reaps pain or pleasure, is his affair alone.

I was much out at parties just then, which diverted me in a degree from sexual vagaries, and for perhaps a month saw Camille only, and but twice a week, so was in fine condition when I had her. To make sure, I used to write to say when I should call, and always found her ready awaiting me. I used to fuck her with great delight in which she participated, for she undeniably is still fond of me, and that I must have been in fine condition, I am sure from the quantity of sperm I shed in her — she used to remark it. — “Ah mon Dieu, what sperm, there is enough for two men.” — She several times said this and I verified it by inspection of her cunt occasionally, for it pleased me to think of my strength and health. — For all that, one day I frigged myself over a sheet of writing paper to see how much sperm issued, and its quality.

But I could not keep to her alone, and one night going to Camille's somewhat early after a club dinner, I saw a full grown woman, with her veil down, walking along quickly. She indeed passed me as I was walking leisurely. — I saw that she was light haired — but what really attracted me I can't say, whether the mystery of the veil, or her quick walking, or her light coloured hair, but quickening my pace I walked by the side of her. “You're in a hurry to night my love,” said I, to which she made no reply, but looking at me went on.

Not quite able to make out whether she was gay or not, her manner stirred my lust. I forgot all about Camille, to whom I was going, and asked her to come with me. Then she slackened her pace, “No” — she was in a hurry. I laid hold of her arm which felt nice. “Stop a minute, let's talk.” — She stopped, then lifted her veil, she seemed to me pretty, and my prick stood. — “My God, you've made my prick so stiff I think it will burst.” — She laughed and said, “Tell me the exact time.” — I did — “Is it far from here?” It was not my usual quarter, but I knew a house not far off. — “I can't stop long then,” said she, dropping her veil. — Taking her arm, we were soon in a house known by the name afterwards of a celebrated battle, a nice quiet handsome house it then was.

She wouldn't take off her clothes, tho she did her bonnet — she was in such a hurry, but pressed, she hurriedly took her gown off. — She was a tall fleshy woman, and the sight of the light hair on her motte, and nearly a week's abstinence — put me into such a state of lustful impatience, that I could not allow my-self those delicious preliminaries of copulation, which are nearly as delightful as the carnal conjunction itself. — It was increased by the way she grasped my prick and kissed me — so in a minute my prick pierced her. She met me with ardor, and far too soon my sexual spasm came on, five or six throbs each sending a spat of sperm into her, finished my voluptuous crisis, just as she said, “Oh — don't be so quick, wait for me.” It was too late, nor could the energetic action of her own cunt and backside — coupled with my efforts, avail her. “Oh — why were you so quick,” said she in a dissatisfied tone.

I told her as I lay up her, that I had had no woman for a week — “What a lot you've spent (as Camille had said), pull it out and give me a towel, I don't want my chemise in a mess.” “No keep it in, and I'll fuck you again.” “No give me a towel, I can't wait.” “You must. — There, I'm getting stiff again — lay still and I'll give you my pocket handkerchief.” — In our joint impatience, I had only taken my great coat off, and was on her with my other coat on. In it was a pocket handkerchief, which I managed to get out with one hand, whilst I clasped her still to me with the other. She lifted one thigh high, I pushed the handkerchief under her bum, my prick had never left her, we recommenced fucking, she spent almost directly, and again spent when I had my second emission.