[At the time I wrote this, I had but little of the anatomical knoweldge of the sexes which I now possess, and vulva — vagina — clitoris — and other terms or their exact signification were only partially known to ne.]

Chapter XI

Camille again. • Intentions of fidelity broken. • About myself and good fortunes. • Shall I print my liaison with Victoria? • Miss Victoria B*c*n. • About omnibuses generally. • A foggy night. • The late omnibus. • Dark inside. • Vic's hurry. • Her friskiness. • The end seat. • The unknown lady on my right. • Thighs felt. • Cunt touched. • Vic's garters. • Risky gropes. • With Vic in the fog. • Against the railings. • Baulked. • Her convenient cousin. • Two assignations. • The unknown lady at J***s St. • Her form. • Cunt. • Large clitoris. • Belly indications. • Hot arsed. • The gin bottle. • Views in the looking glasses.

Directly I was well enough, Camille gratified my concupiscence. She was a sort of magnet to me at times, and her philosophical licentiousness in act and talk charmed me so much, that I thought I would keep to her, I soon however ceased to see her, for never in one year have I had more racy adventures, more charming intrigues, a greater variety in age and condition, and nicer women and girls to fuck. They fell to my embraces accidentally and without difficulty. So much so, that I am almost inclined to be conceited about my attractions, but will only remark that I was in the very prime of manhood, did nothing to exhaust myself, was always ready with my prick, and seem to have nearly, altho not quite, overcome the hesitation I have had at times, and which I have spoken of before. I first had an adventure with the sister of a friend, which perhaps I ought never to have put on paper; but writing these reminiscences gives me great secret pleasure, writing them indeed seems to have become a habit which I cannot break off. When written, I tore the paper in half which narrated this liaison, and a year or two afterwards carefully gummed the pieces together to preserve it. — Such was my inconsistency. (The lady and her brother are, I hear, dead and no harm can be done by narrating the liaison now.)

In my youth I knew a Mr. B*c*n. He was the son of a very rich man, tho only a merchant, and who lived in such style that we who lived then in the greatest luxury, until my father died, seemed poor by the side of them, and they rather looked down on us. — He how-ever failed and died, and his son came in only for a very small share of a splendid business. The son married, had three children — and his sister who had been expected to be a heiress, lived with them at the time I write of.

The sister had been engaged to be married. The day before the wedding, her intended died suddenly, her health broke down, she left London, and went to live with an aunt in the country. Then people kindly said she was in the family way, and hinted she had had a child. She was away I believe, but do not know, for many years. She was certainly thirty years old now.

At the time I write of, B*c*n's wife died, his sister came to take charge of his house, and he had come to live about a mile from our new residence. — I renewed our acquaintance, and an attempt was made to be on visiting terms, — but the women took a dislike to each other, and it dropped, tho they were quite civil to each other when by chance they met. — I and B*c*n however called on each other occasionally.

The sister was shortish, square built, almost broad, and was plump, had blue eyes, auburn hair, a superb pink and white complexion, and an unusually large mouth with good teeth in it. — She had a most unpleasant voice which seemed as if she was suffering with hoarseness, and had a fastish expression, and a peculiar look in her eyes, which I did not like or under-stand ( — I see now it was a mask to cover up her unchastity, which was not satisfied as much as she wished) but she was pronounced handsome and strongly resembled the Queen, so here I shall name her Victoria. When with her brother at a ball at our house, I saw that she had big white breasts, the only thing which gave me desire to see more of her; but so little had I desired that, that had it not been for a chance, it is probable I never should have possessed her.

Omnibuses at this time were but little used by poor people, the fare to my neighbourhood from Charing Cross was a shilling [it is now three pence]; there were but few and they loitered almost as they liked. — The last one at night usually loitered till it was full, or until those inside insisted on its going on. — Some years before that time there were no lights inside them, the gas lighting on the roads of the suburbs was feeble, and when the roads were wide, the inside of the omnibus on dark nights was nearly, if not quite, dark. The oil lamp in the omnibus often went out, no one seemed to take any heed of it, and I have in the dark felt women's thighs, and had my prick felt by strange ladies with whom I exchanged words inside the omnibus, without ever being caught at it. Women who were fairly well dressed and seemed quite respectable played these pranks, and one of these incidents I am now going to tell of.

Nearly all omnibuses at that time held thirteen passengers, and had one end seat where a passenger sat with his back to the horses. — Those on the either side seats, sat with their knees half side ways. — Ladies, unless it was very hot weather, went usually to the end seats to avoid people passing them, and if I saw niceish looking women at that end, I went there so that my knees might press thoughts and sensations. [Real ladies went by omnibuses in those days, very poor people could not afford to ride.]

In Cockspur Street one pitch dark, misty, cold night in February — at about 10:30 p.m., seeing an omnibus I resolved to go home by it. A female wrapped up well, hurried past me towards it to secure a place. — “Why Miss B*c*n, is that you?” Flurried, I saw, by my accosting her, — “Oh yes, I hope there is room, I'm so dreadfully late, I don't know what my brother will say.” — There was room, she went to the end, and I to the middle seat, she apparently did not expect I was going by the omnibus. — On the other side sat a lady who as well as I could see by the mere twinkling lamp, was tall, handsome, and bold-faced, and who eyed closely both me and Miss B. After delay the omnibus moved off, soon the lamp flickered, the conductor enlivened it, but soon out it went; and the omnibus was in darkness.

I could feel Victoria's knees against mine and liked it, and at once thought of cunt. I chaffed her about being late, and she made some lame excuse. — “How close we are packed, we are nearly as close as if we were in bed together.” “Are we?” she said laughing. I got gradually lewed and bold — I had dined well — and put my hand familiarly outside her clothes on to her thigh. — “If we were to kiss no one would know it,” said I, “it's dark enough for any naughtiness,” said she laughing. As the omnibus passed a gas lamp, I saw her big white teeth — and her eyes fixed on me, and then I thought she had had wine, and gently I pinched her thigh, and begged then her pardon. “It's so dark I can't see what I'm about.” “Oh you hurt.” “Hurt me in return.” “Nonsense.” I pinched her again. “Be merry, but be wise,” said she. — Then I put her gloved hand high up on to my thigh. — “Pinch me,” said I, and she did. — A cock-stand ensued. — “Pinch me all over,” said I, placing her hand on the slope of the thigh inwards and near my tool. Then we both laughed, and I pinched her harder. “You are pretty merry,” said the lady on my right. That brought us to our senses. — In the jolting and noise of the vehicle I thought no one could have heard us, and was sure no one could see us. — “What does the Lady say?” said Vic. — I told her. “Take care,” and she pushed off my hand from her thigh. I put it round her bum and pinched what I could, but she had thick winter clothes on.