Daily she went after situations uselessly, and for nine or ten days I had this exquisite creature, and had I not just repented and got rid of a similar folly, really believe I should have offered to keep her, so nice was she in every particular. As a fuckstress she was perfection. Rarely have I found such an exquisite fitting cunt as Lucy had. Its delicate tightness and elasticity, its lubricity and smoothness, its depth, its nutcracking grip when the spending spasm was over — for she had involuntarily that gift — I have never found coupled in greater perfection in any women yet, tho I have had some as nice, and one always has a tendency to praise the charms of the woman in possession for a time.
My desire for gamahuching her increased instead of diminishing. I never tired of looking at her cunt. — So every time I fucked her, I made her wash, then bringing her to the side of the bed, I put pillows under her head so that I could see her, and sitting down on a chair, took her thighs over my arms, and looked at her exquisite pink orifice, till I dropped on my knees and put my mouth to it and sucked, till I gave her pleasure. Each day we parted both of us exhausted. But I must not any longer dwell on the charms of this lovely creature.
Chapter IV
Lucy without place. • Fausse couches. • Goes home. • James leaves. • A confession. • Lucy's marriage. • My wedding gift. • An anonymous letter. • James' amourous exploits. • The use of a dining-room table. • Camille again. • Erotic literature. • Erotic anticipations. • Camille's opinion thereon. • Ill. • Memoirs arranged. • Frail fair ones. • My gratitude. • My unhappiness. • A visit to the manor house. • Joey a hobble-de-hoy. • Tomlin the parlour maid. • Joe and Tomlin. • Sly looks. • On the watch. • The garden grotto. • A peep hole in the roof. • The couple there. • Their amusements. • An unintended spend. • An uprighter. • Joey's cunning.
She could not get a situation, for her uncharitable brute of a mistress, always after giving her a good character, somehow let out about this faux pas, so Lucy and I both agreed that she should get an abortion. — I told her to spare no money, and put her in the way of getting the thing done. She took other lodgings and got relieved (at her third month), and then went home to her parents. I gave her twenty pounds the day she left, and told her to write at any time to me at a club if she wanted any more; but never to mention me, or any thing about our connection, or her miscarriage, to any living soul as long as she lived, even if she married, or was dying. I never told her about the general turn out of servants in my house, or what James said he had done to the cook, thinking the less I said about those things the better.
I had got a new set of servants, for even the lady's maid it was thought desirable to send off, but James remained for I could not get suited. I took a dislike to him for his brutality in not answering the girl's letter; and taking no notice of her when out of place. So one morning, “James,” said I, “what has become of that poor Lucy, has she got a place? She has ceased coming here about her character.” He replied that he did not know. “Well, it's no business of mine, but I have an impression that you have wronged her. Poor creature, and such a nice young woman. If it be really true that you seduced her by a promise of marriage, you will some day regret it, it will be on your conscience heavily. She would make a good wife to a man of your class, and a man even far above you. I never felt more for a poor creature, than I did when I saw her going away crying.” “How am I to keep a wife?” said he. “Set up a shop for her, or let her take in washing, and you can work as either indoor or outdoor servant, you are both strong and healthy.” “Where does she live?” “I don't know, I can find out; but I know where her parents live in the country, and dare say she's gone home.” I noticed all this time that James had ceased to deny having had her. Then impulsively I said, “Poor thing. I'd give fifty pounds to help her, and prevent her become a street walker, for that will be the end, if it be not already.” Then turning away I said sharply, “That will do, you will leave on Wednesday.” — “Are you suited, sir?” “No, but I won't have you about me any longer.” The man retired — crest fallen — he had been, I know, flattering himself that I would after all still keep him on as my servant. He liked me I must add. On Wednesday he left.
A fortnight elapsed before I heard anything of him, and was surprized he had not applied for his character. Then he came to me. He was trying for a place in the country, would I give a written character as footman or valet. It was a place where he was to live out. Yes, if I was certain all was square. — Where was it? At * * * * near the village where Lucy lived. Then he volunteered that she was with her parents, and that he had been down to see her. I was startled, and began to think about my own little games in Lucy's receptacle, but said, “What did you go there for? Is she with child really, or not?” “Well its quite true she was so and it was my fault, but she's had a miscarriage and is all right, and we've made it up.” “More fool she,” said I, “you will serve the poor girl the same dirty trick again.” No he wouldn't, he was a thinking of marrying her. “That's like a man,” said I. “I'll give you fifty pounds to help you if you do.” “Will you sir?” said he. I reflected. “Well, I really think I would.” “By gosh I'll marry her in three weeks,” said he, “for it would just set us up, and I've saved a little money, and can go home of nights.” “Well I must think it over. Come to me tomorrow morning, and if the gentleman writes to me for your character, I will see what I can do for you.”
I was really very glad, but did not quite see why I should give fifty pounds. I had done the girl no harm, had given her lots of money, and enabled her quietly to get over her trouble which I had not brought on her. But I had deep sympathy for her, almost an affection seemed springing up in my vacant heart. So thought I, it may do good to her. She is a sweet creature and deserves it; and next morning I told him I would give him fifty pounds, so soon as he was married to her. Not knowing how I might be compromised by this act, I instructed my solicitors in the matter, told them all the circumstances (excepting that I had tailed the girl), and arranged for them to pay the fifty pounds, so soon as they were satisfied that they were married.
He got the place he wanted; soon my solicitors got a letter from her saying the marriage was to take place on a certain day, and subsequently a copy of the marriage certificate. They then paid him the money. He went to service near the village, and so did she for a time, they heard. Two or three months afterwards I received a letter with these words in it: “Sir, God bless you for your kindness, please burn this, I felt that I must thank you. Lucy.” — and I never heard of the couple afterwards. It was one of the shortest, but one of the most delicious of my amours, and I look back to it with intense satisfaction.
From first to last I had about three weeks enjoyment of her, for she was only a day past her monthly period, when the accusation came, by which she lost her situation, and I had her up to a day or two before her courses were forced on by the doctor.
I can't explain to myself why I had such a letch for gamahuching her, excepting the extreme beauty of her cunt, and its sweet, inciting smell. I have been always fitful in this taste. To most of the women — including some splendid women — young, beautiful, lascivious, whom I have much liked, I have never done it. I have done it with a half dislike, to several lovely creatures who insisted on my doing it to them, and I licked, spitting frequently, and wiping my mouth on the sly afterwards to avoid offence; but occasionally I have liked it much, tho as I write and look back years, I don't recollect one woman to whom I gave such cunnilingual attention as I did to Lucy. The idea of giving pleasure to a woman seems to actuate me more in what I now do, than it used. Once I seem mainly to have thought of my own pleasure. There is a strange feeling of enjoyment comes over me now, when my tongue touches the clitoris of a sweet young woman, if I like her.