Indecent familiarities began, obscene if you like; the more libidinous, the better they seemed to please me. I felt Violette's blonde cunt as she straddled across me. Whilst sitting, Gabrielle knelt and had commenced her favourite minette with my prick. It was her fancy not mine, but lasciviousness is contagious, and I yielded. Violette was partially undressed, Gabrielle still in man's attire. She explained to me the way the trowsers were put on, and how opened when she wanted to piddle. “No, don't take them off, Gabrielle. I'll fuck you with them on at the bedside.” “Ah, si,” and laughing, “then you can fancy you are buggering a man.” — We stripped the other lady who was a blonde, laid her across the bed, put pillows under her arse to elevate it, and Gabrielle stooping, licked her cunt, whilst I putting my prick into Gabrielle's cunt from behind; we all took pleasure together. We two fucking, soon spent, the other lady was longer. Gabrielle, who seemed as if she could not take her mouth away from the cunt, persisted till she had finished Violette twice. Most of the time I looked on from behind; my prick, still more or less stiff, up Gabrielle's cunt.
Alas, — these delicious, enervating, sexual amusements will end. The stiffest prick will leave the loveliest cunt. The randiest cunt feels full and satisfied. The strongest and most agile tongue fatigues with minette. — The gamahuchee even needs a little repose. So our groupings terminated, our bodies separated, and with moistened genitals, we sat talking and looking at each other. All were still lewed, lascivious, libidinous, tho every letch we could think of had been gratified. The women had sucked each other. Both had resuscitated my prick with their mouths when other means failed, tho I did not ejaculate under that suction. — I fucked both of them more than once, and at day break was fast asleep lying close to Gabrielle, whilst her friend lay snoring on a sofa. At midday we got up and breakfasted. — I fucked them both and left.
After a week's amusement mainly with Gabrielle and Violette, but with one at a time only, I returned to Lon-don. There were signs of spring.
The little episode at N*v**s set me trying at every hotel I went to afterwards to see if there were any spy holes, and I often found them. I had seen them at hotels before, and had looked through them, but had no very satisfactory sights when I did. I really cannot under-stand why I had not been more on the look out for them. I think they were more numerous in France then than in other countries, and that the plan and arrangement of the rooms then favored them. — At all events I have since looked most cunningly after them. Just about this time also I had begun to shave in a new and careful fashion, and had bought a gimlet to enable me to fix a hand glass to the windows for that purpose, and now began to use it at times for making holes, or opening those which had been made and stopped up.
When I found that in my room there was no opportunity of peeping, I changed it as soon I could. When arriving at an hotel, I waited to see which room was selected by young women, or by a young married couple if there were any, and if possible got the room next to theirs. If there was no door communicating with it, I found some objection and refused it. Thus I got many opportunities, and had some very pleasant, and at times, chastely voluptuous sights.
With Gabrielle and Violette, my libidinous tricks were much the same as I had with Gabrielle at London. The orgy at Paris was but a reproduction. I have had Gabrielle with another woman together since, and see that she loves licking another's cunt, as well as prick sucking.
Chapter III
Explanations. • Reflexions, and observations about my-self. • My private establishment. • Easy circumstances. • My new house. • James the footman. • Lucy the parlour maid. • Love exercises in the dining room. • Two dismissals. • The cook and James. • Kitchen and housemaid. • A general turn-out. • Lucy's despair. • My kind intentions. • At her lodgings. • A dinner with her. • On the sofa. • On the notch. • Her confession. • At J***s St. • Her form and features. • Gamahuching intervals. • Frig precedent. • Fuck sequential. • Paradisiacal copulation. • Instructions in oral obscenity. • An exquisite cunt. • My gamahuching letch.
[I have not looked through and corrected the foregoing manuscript. — The abbreviations may change the narrative but there is no help for it, if it is to be printed; yet but few incidents having any novelty have been erased, and the conversations with my women are just as I wrote them originally — the excisions excepted. — How delightfully the episodes come back to my memory as I read the manuscript. Incidents fading into forgetfulness come out quite freshly to me, and I almost seem to be living my youthful life over again. Would that I were going to do so, for it was a lovely time with women; and was only cursed by that one lasting, deep, irremediable error. [I am not sure about ages in one or two instances, nor the exact order of two or three of the more fugitive amours. I could perhaps set these quite right by reference to books now hidden and dusty, but it is not worth the trouble to do so. — None are of any real importance. I write for my pleasure alone, and if I print, shall print for my pleasure alone, so let the manuscript stand as it is paged.
[I notice now in reading it, that some of my raciest adventures, those which being unsought, those which fell to my lot as it were by accident, and which tho brief were among the most voluptuous, occurred whilst I had other and more enduring liaisons on hand. Such was my weakness and fondness for the sex, that I never could keep faithfully to any one woman absolutely, however much I loved her. I have wished and in-tended to do so, have tried hard, so hard, to avoid in-fidelity, but surrendered at last to the temptation. The idea of seeing another woman naked, of piercing a fresh cunt, seemed to foreshadow to me voluptuous pleasures never tasted before with any other woman. As my prick entered the cunt it had never touched before, the sensation always seemed to me more exquisite than that I had ever had with others. Yet many a time after such pleasures I have been disgusted with myself for my weakness, and tried to atone for it, without the object ever having been aware of the reason for my ultra kindness.
[The quality of manuscript still left for revision, alas, is long. Amongst it is an essay on copulation, written I think somewhat earlier than some I have revised, and written with such knowledge of the subject as I then had, as well as with some ignorance which I now see. It has that freedom of expression which I at once adopted in my narrative, and leaves no doubt in my own mind about what I meant then, and at all times. — It pleased me much when I wrote it, yet it must be sacrificed to time, money, and expediency — for it is not an incident, and forms no part of the history of my private life, tho it illustrates well my frame of mind and knowledge of things sexual, at the period of my life when I wrote it.
[This perusal brings prominently before me all my acts, deeds, and thoughts for full twenty years, and I perceive clearly, that altho I had done most things which were sexually possible once, and almost out of curiosity, or else on sudden impulse (up to about this period), yet that my habits with women in my lust were for the most part simple, commonplace, and unintellectual; and that I had not sought for out of the way lascivious postures and varied complex delights in copulation or its preliminaries, which a fervid, voluptuous, poetical imagination has since gradually devised for my gratification. This desire for variety seems to have commenced some time after I became acquainted with the second Camille.
[But by that time I was evidently no longer displeased with that which, in years previously, would have shocked me. My prejudices have now pretty well vanished with the approach of middle age. I have conquered antipathies and reaped the reward, in seeing before me a great variety of frolics, suitable to my maturity, but which I am glad I did not have prematurely in my youth when I did not need them, and should not have appreciated them as I do now. — It is amusing now to notice the gradual change from simply belly to belly exercise, which contented me, to the infinitely varied amusements since indulged in.