«It's a monstrous egg,» said Edna. «Poor birdie.»
«What do you expect, after God knows how many years?» said Jack, laughing. «Some birds lay eggs nearly as big as themselves — the kiwi or something. Still, I must admit it's a whopper.»
«She doesn't look well,» said Edna.
Indeed, the old parrot looked almost as sick as a parrot can be, which is several times sicker than any other living creature. Her eyes closed up, her head sank, and if a finger was put out to scratch her she turned her beak miserably away. However, she sat conscientiously on the prodigious egg she had laid, though every day she seemed a little feebler than before.
«Perhaps we ought to take the egg away,» said Jack. «We could get it blown, and keep it as a memento.»
«No,» said Edna. «Let her have it. It's all she's had in all these years.»
Here Edna made a mistake, and she realized it a few mornings later. «Jack,» she called. «Do come. It's Tom — Thomasina, I mean. I'm afraid she's going to die.»
«We ought to have taken the egg away,» said Jack, coming out with his mouth full of breakfast. «She's exhausted herself. It's no good, anyway. It's bound to be sterile.»
«Look at her!» cried Edna.
«She's done for,» said Jack, and at that moment the poor old bird keeled over and gasped her last.
«The egg killed her,» said Jack, picking it up. «I said it would. Do you want to keep it? Oh, good Lord!» He put the egg down very quickly. «It's alive,» he said.
«What?» said Edna. «What do you mean?»
«It gave me a turn,» said Jack. «It's most extraordinary. It's against nature. There's a chick inside that egg, tapping.»
«Let it out,» said Edna. «Break the shell.»
«I was right,» said Jack. «It was a bird I saw. It must have been a stray parrot. Only it looked so big.»
«I'm going to break the shell with a spoon,» said Edna, running to fetch one.
«It'll be a lucky bird,» said Jack when she returned. «Born with a silver spoon in its beak, so to speak. Be careful.»
«I will,» said Edna. «Oh, I do hope it lives!»
With that she gingerly cracked the shell, the tapping increased, and soon they saw a well-developed beak tearing its way through. In another moment the chick was born.
«Golly!» cried Jack. «What a monster!»
«It's because it's young,» said Edna. «It'll grow lovely. Like its mother.»
«Maybe,»said Jack. «I must be off. Put it in the nest. Feed it pap. Keep it warm. Don't monkey with it too much. Goodbye, my love.»
That morning Jack telephoned home two or three times to find out how the chick was, and if it ate. He rushed home at lunchtime. In the evening everyone came round to peep at the nestling and offer advice.
Charlie was there. «It ought to be fed every hour at least,» said he. «That's how it is in nature.»
«He's right,» said Jack. «For the first month at least, that's how it should be.»
«It looks as if I'm going to be tied down a bit,» said Edna ruefully.
«I'll look in when I pass and relieve your solitude,» said Charlie.
«I'll manage to rush home now and then in the afternoons,» said Jack, a little too thoughtfully.
Certainly the hourly feeding seemed to agree with the chick, which grew at an almost alarming speed. It became covered with down, feathers sprouted; in a few months it was fully grown, and not in the least like its mother. For one thing, it was coal-black.
«It must be a hybrid,» said Jack. «There is a black parrot; I've seen them in zoos. They didn't look much like this, though. I've half a mind to send a photograph of him somewhere.»
«He looks so wicked,» said Edna.
«He looks cunning,» said Jack. «That bird knows everything, believe me. I bet he'll talk soon.»
«It gave a sort of laugh, »said Edna. «I forgot to tell you.»
«When?» cried Jack. «A laugh?»
«Sort of,» said Edna. «But it was horrible. It made Charlie nearly jump out of his skin.»
«Charlie?» cried Jack. «You didn't say he'd been here.»
«Well, you know how often he drops in,» said Edna.
«Do I?» said Jack. «I hope I do. God! What was that?»
«That's what I meant,» said Edna. «A sort of laugh.»
«What a horrible sound!» said Jack.
«Listen, Jack,» said Edna. «I wish you wouldn't be silly about Charlie. You are, you know.»
Jack looked at her. «I know I am,» said he. «I know it when I look at you. And then I think I never will be again. But somehow it's got stuck in my mind, and the least little thing brings it out. Maybe I'm just a bit crazy, on that one subject.»
«Well, he'll be transferred soon,» said Edna. «And that'11 be the end of it.»
«Where did you hear that?» said Jack.
«He told me this afternoon,» said Edna. «He was on his way back from getting the mail when he dropped in. That's why he told me first. Otherwise he'd have told you first. Only he hasn't seen you yet. Do you see?»
«Yes, I see,» said Jack. «I wish I could be psychoanalyzed or something.»
Soon Charlie made his farewells, and departed for his job on the company's other project. Edna was secretly glad to see him go. She wanted no problems, however groundless, to exist between herself and Jack. A few days later she felt sure that all the problems were solved forever.
«Jack,» said she when he came home in the evening.
«Yes, »said he.
«Something new,» said she. «Don't play with that bird. Listen to me.»
«Call him Polly,» said Jack. They had named it Polly to be on the safe side. «You don't want to call him 'that bird.' The missus doesn't love you, Poll.»
«Do you know, I don't!» said Edna, with quite startling vehemence. «I don't like him at all, Jack. Let's give him away.»
«What? For heaven's sake!» cried Jack. «This rare, black, specially hatched Poll? This parrot of romantic origin? The cleverest Poll that ever —»
«That's it,» said Edna. «He's too darned clever. Jack, I hate him. He's horrible.»
«What? Has he said something you don't like?» said Jack, laughing. «I bet he will, when he talks. But what's the news, anyway?»
«Come inside,» said Edna. «I'm not going to tell you with that creature listening.» She led the way into the bedroom. «The news is,» said she, «that I've got to be humoured. And if I don't like anything, it's got to be given away. It's not going to be born with a beak because its mother was frightened by a hateful monstrosity of a parrot.»
«What?» said Jack.
«That's what,» said Edna, smiling and nodding.
«A brat?» cried Jack in delight. «A boy! Or a, girl! It's bound to be one or the other. Listen, I was afraid to tell you how much I wanted one, Edna. Oh, boy! This is going to make everything very, very fine. Lie down. You're delicate. Put your feet up. I'm going to fix dinner. This is practice. Stay still. Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Or girl as the case maybe!»
He went out through the living-room on his way to the kitchen. As he passed the window he caught sight of the parrot on the dark porch outside, and he put his head through to speak to it.
«Have you heard the news?» said he. «Behold a father! You're going to be cut right out, my bird. You're going to be given away. Yes, sir, it's a baby.»
The parrot gave a long low whistle. «You don't say so?» said he in a husky voice, a voice of apprehension, a quite astonishing imitation of Charlie's voice. «What about Jack?»
«What's that?» said Jack, startled.
«He'll think it's his,» whispered the parrot in Edna's voice. «He's fool enough for anything. Kiss me, darling. Phew-w-w! You don't say so? What about Jack? He'll think it's his, he's fool enough for anything. Kiss me, darling. Phew-w-w!»
Jack went out into the kitchen, and sat down with his head in his hands for several minutes.
«Hurry up!» cried Edna from the bedroom. «Hurry up — Father!»