"Thank you, " Barbie said, slipping out of her coat and revealing a rather sexy tight leather outfit that did not seem in keeping with her daintiness or soft voice. "I need the toolbox and the bag so I can work on Regina. "
Pony knew that Regina's appearance required a lot of work, but it saddened him to think things had deteriorated to the point that tools were required. He escorted Barbie up the winding staircase to the First Family's private quarters, where Regina was rummaging through her bedroom closet, pulling out painter's paints and sweatshirts and getting increasingly discouraged.
"Oh!" she said with relief when Barbie walked in and set the toolbox and bag on the bed. "I'm so glad you're here! I can't find anything to wear and I looked in the mirror a little earlier and scared myself. Do you really think you can make me pretty in time for the race?"
"Of course I do, " Barbie assured her as she looked out the window at the EPU troopers shoveling more wood-chips into the limousine.
"That's for Trip's trip, " Regina explained.
"Trip-trip?" Barbie was baffled. "What's a trip-trip?"
"No, Trip's trip, not trip-trip, " Regina said. "Trip's Papa's new little minihorse that's specially trained to guide blind people. Papa has to take him everywhere he goes, you see, and since I'm supervising, I did a little research on the subject and found out that minihorses do better in the car if they have woodchips. "
She paused to see if Barbie understood the point. Barbie didn't.
"Sort of like being in a stall, " Regina offered a hint. "You know, like a litter box. "
"Oh, " Barbie said in amazement. "And here I was thinking they were planting a nice little mobile garden. Silly me. But I would think if a little horse does his business inside a limo-woodchips or not-it might prove a little unpleasant for whoever else is riding along. "
"Horse doo-doo doesn't smell as bad as dog doo-doo, " Regina reminded Barbie. "And the minute Trip uses the bathroom, you just scoop woodchips over it and you don't even know it's there. "
"Then what happens when you get up in the governor's box at the race?" Barbie worried as she opened the toolbox and began to arrange bottles of foundation, blemish cover-up, nail polish, hair treatments, and dyes, along with dozens of other cosmetics, on top of an antique walnut high chest.
"If he needs to go out, he'll paw the door, " Regina replied. "Then I'll take him down in the elevator and find a patch of grass somewhere. What are the scissors for? Are you going to cut my hair?"
Barbie told Regina to sit in the Shaker rocker and be still for a moment. Barbie circled her most challenging project, taking in the overall scene and deciding that Regina's long frizzy dark hair with its split ends had to go.
"Let me see your teeth, " Barbie said.
Regina opened her mouth wide and curled back her lips, revealing yellowing teeth that, ironically, could very well belong to a minihorse, Barbie thought.
"I brought some tooth bleach, " she said with more optimism than she felt. "So let's put the bleach on now and give it a chance to at least begin working. As for your hair, dear, it has no color at all, really. I suppose it's sort of a brindle-a splotchy mix of brown and black. And I think the solution is to dye it black and cut it just below your ears, layering it, of course, and this will help to soften your nose and chin.
"I also thought to bring along a nice tanning solution that you'll put on after your salt scrub, Dead Sea soak, manicure, pedicure, and mud mask. You'll turn a nice golden brown without exposing your skin to even one ray of damaging sun. Isn't that exciting?"
Regina wasn't sure. For one thing, she had not anticipated that Barbie might expect Regina to strip completely naked and allow an almost-stranger to rub salt, mud, and lotions all over Regina's corpulent body.
"Now, I know what you're thinking, " Barbie said as she draped a towel around Regina's neck and began snipping away huge clumps of hair that reminded Barbie of tumbleweeds in old Westerns she sometimes watched with Lennie. "I'm aware from our counseling session that you have a very poor self-image and hate your body, and probably are just a wee bit nervous about being naked and having things rubbed, peeled, scraped, and scrubbed over every inch of you, but you'll be fine and just so pleased when you see the result. "
"Nothing you scrub me with will get rid of all this fat, " Regina candidly pointed out as more hair tumbled across the floor. Under ordinary circumstances, the idea of having her body so completely manipulated would have been secretly pleasant.
But Barbie Fogg wasn't Regina's type. Not at all. Barbie wasn't robust enough and struck Regina as the sort who could probably touch and knead another woman all day long and experience not the slightest tingle or desire for more. Regina doubted that Barbie had much interest in anything physical from anyone, and in that regard was probably similar to Regina's mother, who for as long as Regina could remember had been far more interested in collectibles, such as cast-iron banks, old coffee and tobacco cans, and trivets, than in wild, erotic same-sex or opposite-sex or even self-sex.
"We'll start you on a diet immediately, " Barbie said as she snipped, snipped. "Which means you'll need to stay clear of the buffet tables at the race, okay? A nice salad, and lots of celery, carrots, and radishes will have to tide you over, but in the meantime, don't be so negative. You know what they say, clothes are a girl's best friend, and I went to the trouble to pop by a sweet little boutique and pick out something just perfect for you. "
"What?" Regina was almost afraid to ask as Barbie began to layer strands of hair with a razor.
"Oh, it's just the cutest thing. To die for, really. I intuited what you might feel comfortable in and what suits your overall face, figure, and personality, and came up with this simply perfect denim outfit! I couldn't believe it when I found it! Now, hold still and try not to rock. Such a lovely rocking chair, by the way, but I don't want to cut you with the razor as I shave the back of your neck before we do a nice waxing of your upper lip and chin, and maybe clean up your eyebrows and sideburns.
"Anyway, what I found is a pair of stonewashed overalls that have a cute skirt instead of pants, and you can wear it with this darling long-sleeved silk shirt that's designed to look like a lumberman's shirt, only it's got a lace collar and will show off your bust, which will really be enhanced by the push-up bra I found. I had to guess, but you look like a forty-four D, am I right?"
"I don't usually wear a bra, " Regina replied through a shower of shredded hair. "I hate bras and wear undershirts most of the time because nobody really sees me through sweatshirts, anyway. "
"Well, people will certainly see you tonight, " Barbie cheerfully piped. "You'll have so much cleavage you could pack a picnic in it! As for shoes, because no outfit is complete without them, I found an adorable pair of bright red patent leather high-top tennis shoes. Can you imagine? They have a Converse seal on the ankles made out of sequins, and white leather laces, and you'll wear them with designer socks that are supposed to look like old-fashioned tube socks, but these are made of silk! Now let me guess, your shoe size is a twelve? And your dress size is a sixteen?"
"Men's or women's?" Regina asked, holding very still as Barbie worked away with the razor, cleaning up the back of Regina's neck. "I always wear men's stuff, so I don't know what size I wear in women's. "
"Don't you worry for a minute. I'm very good at guessing people's sizes, " Barbie promised as she stepped back to admire her work. "I suppose it's because, as a professional counselor, I have to be good at sizing people up. There. "