"You think so?" Slim Jim asked with nagging doubt. "I mean, even if we could get outta here, how we gonna find that crab pot and then haul all the treasure outta the bottom of the bay?"
"I can't swim, " Snitch added.
"Uh uh, I never could swim, " Stick confessed.
"You don't have to swim, you idiots!" Trader impatiently replied.
He had traded beds with the Mexican boy because if there was one thing Trader understood, it was office psychology. His maxim was fairly simple. If you wanted to feign friendship and sympathy, you sat the person you wished to manipulate in a nice living area with nothing between the two of you but a coffee table. If the objective was to intimidate, you sat at your desk, which became an imposing barrier between you and the individual you intended to terrorize. If you wished to confuse and humiliate, which had always been his preferred tactic with the governor, you poisoned the person with Ex-Lax and then insisted on having important discussions while walking through buildings or driving.
The Mexican boy's steel bed, as it turned out in the light of morning, was in the center of the cell. By appropriating it while he was using the toilet, Trader had gained the leadership role he wanted, although the other cellmates weren't sure why they suddenly viewed him with a bit more respect. Realizing the power of violent gastric attacks, Trader directed that when the guard was strolling past, on cue Reverend Justice would double over in agony and make loud moans and shrieks while the other cellmates gathered around him in a panic and screamed for help and shouted for everyone to give him air.
"The guard will burst inside the cell to render aid, " Trader explained. "And when he does, you"-he said to Stick-"poke him in the eye, and you"-he said to Cat- "grab his radio, and you"-he said to Slim Jim-"grab his keys so you can unlock all the doors, and you"-he pointed to the Mexican boy-"put your finger in your pocket and pretend it's a gun and start threatening to shoot because no one in this place understands Spanish, and you"-he nodded at Snitch-"stay right here in the cell and when questioned later, claim that our jailbreak was an inside job and you overheard us saying we were escaping in an awaiting getaway car that was taking us to Charlotte. "
"But we don't got no getaway car, " Stick said, and he didn't like the thought of sticking his finger in anybody's eye.
"That's where you come in, " Trader said to Reverend Justice. "The guards treat you far more respectfully than the rest of us and have even asked you religious questions and told you to pray for their various problems. I fully believe that if you ask to use the pay phone because one of your parishioners is dying and needs last rites over the phone, the guard will give in. "
"Baptists don't do last rites, " the reverend protested. "And I'm not so sure I want any part of this. I'm already in a world of trouble for trying to solicitate that old Clot woman. "
They fell silent as the guard with the headset loudly passed by, his eyes glazed as he snapped his fingers and hummed to a rap tune.
"When you use the pay phone, " Trader resumed, "you call someone of lesser intelligence who works for you and is submissive and naive, and order that person to pick you up on the street. Just say you'll have a few friends along for the ride, and then we'll get the hell out of town. In the immense unlikelihood that we're apprehended, I'll just claim that you were abducted and had nothing to do with the plan. "
Reverend Justice was a little more at ease when Trader put it to him that way. After all, Reverend Pontius Justice was a local celebrity who had devoted his life to saving souls and stopping crime. Even if he released his pent-up needs of the flesh now and then by picking up ladies of the night, he always paid them and gave thanks.
Andy had yet to receive any thanks from Hammer, and it was getting on his nerves that all she seemed interested in was pacing the carpet in her headquarters office and complaining.
"You should have run this by me first, " she kept saying behind the closed door, even though there were very few people at headquarters on a Saturday morning. "For God's sake, Andy, where was your brain when'you wrote all this nonsense about a so-called Tory Treasure? Look at what you've stirred up! By encouraging the Islanders to seize the alleged loot because it's rightfully theirs, you have succeeded in prompting the governor to issue threats and send out the military. If there wasn't a civil war before, there certainly will be one now. And frankly,
I'm in agreement with the governor. The Islanders do not have a right to the treasure. It belongs in a museum. "
"That's what I'm trying to tell you, "Andy tried to get through to her. "My only intention was to cause everyone to think everybody else is trying to take something away from them. And in order to make Tangier Island really angry at Virginia, it was necessary for me to excite Virginia into being really pissed off at the island. Then, when Macovich arrives tonight in a state police helicopter filled with NASCAR guys who are really Smoke and his road dogs, just what sort of reception do you think they'll be greeted with? Our undercover troopers will hardly be needed. "
"You're making no sense and you're scaring me!" Hammer blurted out. "And I thought the entire point of Trooper Truth was to always tell the truth. It seems to me in these latest essays all you're doing is manipulating everyone, even if it's for a good cause. Or even if you mean it as a good cause. Damn it! I'm so confused. "
"I understand exactly how you feel, " Andy said. "I promise I know what I'm doing. We both know how ruthless and dangerous Smoke is. If that helicopter sets down on the island and he sees the first hint of people who don't exactly look like watermen, even if they're dressed like them, he very well may open fire the minute he steps out on the airstrip. We've got to introduce an element of surprise to make him pause just long enough for us to surround him and take him down without incident. "
"Let's get on with this and mobilize the troops, " Hammer decided. "The governor will just have to return by car to the mansion after the race. You and I are flying the helicopter to Tangier Island to see what we can do to bring closure to this mess. And by the way, what makes you think a Tory Treasure really is in the bay?"
"I don't necessarily think it, " Andy replied. "But that old piece of iron clearly came from a battle, possibly involving pirates. And that Tory turncoat Joseph Wheland certainly must have amassed a fortune during all of his years of plundering plantations and other ships, so what happened to all of his loot?"
Barbie Fogg had never been on a real plantation, but she got a sense of what that might be like when she pulled up to the front gates of the governor's mansion at noon, just in time to see a very odd sight.
Two powerfully built EPU troopers were shoveling woodchips into the back of a long, black limousine. Barbie drove through the opening gates and parked on the circular driveway. She collected her makeover products, which fit nicely in a large toolbox, and grabbed a bag of clothes out of the trunk.
"What are you doing?" she asked the troopers. "I don't mean to pry, but why are you piling all these woodchips on the back floor of this beautiful limo? Are you planning to plant flowers inside? If so, I think that's a wonderful idea. Then the governor can ride around in a garden. "
The troopers sternly replied that the information was classified, and then the mansion's front door opened and a black butler in a stiffly pressed white jacket greeted Barbie with a smile.
"Do come in, " he warmly said. "Miss Reginia is expecting you. Here, let me take your coat, and can I help you with your toolbox?"