"You might as well, though I'll be damned if I'm in much of a mood for it," said Blitzkrieg. "Who's on the list?"

Sparrowhawk looked at her clipboard. "Mrs. Biffwycke-Snerty, for the Retired Officers', Refugees', and Orphans' Relief Organization. She wants you to give a speech at their fund-raising affair."

"Fine, send her in," said Blitzkrieg. "Always glad to help out the good old veterans."

And never reluctant to spout off in front of a captive audience, thought Sparrowhawk. She nodded and left the office.

A moment later the door opened to admit a portly matron, a familiar figure at charity balls. "Oh, General, 1 do hope you'll be able to address the RORORO fund-raiser next month," she warbled, in a voice at least an octave above her natural range. "We have such a wonderful program planned, and you would be just the perfect one to speak for the Legion."

"Why, I'd be delighted," said the general, rising to extend a hand. "There's nothing closer to my heart than the welfare of the retired officers. I'll tell my adjutant to make it a firm date."

"Oh, I'm so pleased," said Mrs. Biffwycke-Snerty.

"Now we have something for all our clients. You for the officers, and Mr. Vodoh-Deo, who's done just so much for the Jivan refugees-and you'll never guess whom we've persuaded to come for the orphans!"

"I haven't a clue," said Blitzkrieg, already mildly annoyed that he wasn't to be the sole attraction.

"It was such a coup!" said the socialite. "Priscilla Ann - Hoglinton just happens to know the executive producer of the IGT network, and I told her we just had to have someone for the poor children, and she went in and talked to him, and you know how tough these producers can be, but sure enough, Priscilla Ann just prevailed upon him, I swear I don't know how, and he said he'd do everything he could for RORORO. And now we've got just the perfect celebrity to make this the best fund-raiser ever!"

"And who would that be?" said Blitzkrieg, throwing caution to the winds.

"Why, Barky, the Environmental Dog, of course! He's just so cute..." Mrs. Biffwycke-Snerty chirped.

General Blitzkrieg's wounded bellow was audible three buildings away.