"What the hell?" said Asho, making up in vehemence what he lacked in originality. "I never seen anything like that before. What was that thing?"

Qual turned to them, and said, grinning toothily, "Didn't I tell you? It is just as I said: The game's a foot!"

"Look here, Qual, this won't do at all," said Euston 0'Better. "We'd be pure and simple laughin' stocks if we showed up back home with that kind of thing as a trophy." The hunters had returned to the camp, and the three of them were sitting with the Zenobian around a small camp stove, warming up coffee for the humans.

Qual grinned, showing his intimidating array of daggerlike teeth. "You did not explain this to me," he said. "What kind of game is it you search, then, if the snool is not it?"

"Hell, dinos!" said L. P. Asho. "The big mothers--you know, like tranasaurs or brontosaurs. You got 'em here, don't you?"

"Big mothers?" Qual looked puzzled. "My own mother is rather large, perhaps twenty centimeters taller than the average female, and proportionately weighty. But I do not think she would like being hunted..."

"L. P's just usin' a figure of speech, is all," said O'Better, hastily. "He don't really want to shoot nobody's mother, do you now, L. P.?"

"Well, I gotta think about that, Euston," said Asho, rubbing his chin. "Eddy Joe Hollub's mom was always real mean to me back when I was a kid..."

"Har, har!" said O'Better. "L. P.'s full of jokes, ain't he? But seriously, Qual, a big hairy jumpin' foot's pretty unusual, but I don't think it's quite the kind of thing you can be proud of havin' shot, y'know? It don't make a very smart trophy."

"I think not," said Qual. "The snool is a very stupid animal. It rarely knows whether it is coming or going..."

Austen, Tay-Shun cut him off. "Nab, we don't want the animal to be smart-we want it to look impressive as a mounted trophy. You know, big and fierce, like that." Qual's eyes opened wider. "Big and fierce? Aha, why did you not say so? I can find you many such beasts."

"All right," said Asho, setting his coffee cup loudly down on a flat stone. "Now we're cookin' with raw antimatter. What kind of critters are we talkin' about, and how soon can we get a shot at 'em?"

"Oh, these are very large beasts," said Qual, his eyes rolling as if to suggest their magnitude. "They are bad tempered and always hungry. I do not know whether a wise sophont would go looking for them on purpose. The best way to deal with them is to be somewhere else."

"Whoo-ee, that sure sounds nasty," said Asho. "Do they have big teeth, or claws, or somethin' else like that?"

"Teeth, and claws, and horns, and a sharp, sharp barb on the tippy-tip of the tail," said Qual, putting his hands over his eyes. "I think you are very smart humans. Listen to me; you go hunt for these animals, maybe they get the smart idea to come hunting for humans instead. And if that happens, the beasts having all the fun."

"Whoo-ee," said 0'Better. "I reckon we oughta stop and think about that one, boys."

"I knew you would be smart humans," said Qual. "Now, I can find you nice safe things to hunt, like gryff..."

"Damnit, we don't want safe!" bellowed Asho. "What are you boys, men or miffles? We come here for just two things, to get us some samples of Phule-Proof's new models and to hunt some big ol' critters."

"Shh!" said 0'Better. "The boy here might tell somebody!"

""Shee-it, Euston, the boy ain't gonna tell nobody," said Asho. "He don't know anybody at Phule-Proof to go yappin' to. But he sure does sound like he can take us to some serious big game-I mean, fierce-lookin' critters with teeth and claws. I don't want to come home with nothin', but I don't want the folks back on Tejas to think I shot some poor old woman's milk cow, neither."

Qual seemed to slump, and he said in a voice that, even through the translator, sounded subdued. "If you are so anxious to seek danger, then I will take you. But do not tell me I- did not give you all fair warnings."

"Fair or not, I'm ready to roll," said Asho. "When do we go, and what do we need to take."

"Tomorrow we go," said Qual, in what sounded like a doleful tone. "Bring your most powerful weapons. Get a good sleep-we leave at dawn. And if you have any business to settle, do it now. We seek the most dangerous beasts on Zenobia, and there is no promising that we will prevail."

"Yee-hah!" hollered Asho, tossing his hat in the air. The other two hunters managed a smile, too, although they were a good bit less exuberant. As for Qual, he flashed his teeth-an expression that might mean almost any thing and vanished into the dark.

17

Journal #748

Having spent as much time as I have in the employment of those who have acquired their fortunes in one form or another of commerce, I have learned at least - this much about how these somewhat enigmatic persons think: The average person looks at a deal, and asks, "What's in it for me?" The successful businessman asks, "What's in it for everybody?"

It is the ability consistently to find a satisfactory answer to the latter question upon which the greatest fortunes are built. And that particular ability is one that Mr. Willard Phule, known to the Legion as Captain Jester, possessed in full measure.

Doc ushered Lola and Ernie through the Fat Chance Casino's lobby, up the elevators to the executive office level, and into a conference room where Tullie Bascomb and Victor Phule sat waiting. "Good, good, glad you're here," said Tullie, indicating two chairs drawn up opposite his desk. "Thanks, Doc."

"You're not the only one who's glad," said Lola, sinking into one of the chairs. "Your security chief got there just in time to save us from a fairly nasty experience. Which, by the way, is very much related to our problems with your buyout offer..."

"Well, 1 suggest you wait until you hear what we're offering," said Bascomb. "Drinks?" He waved toward a nearby cart bearing several ornate bottles, an ice bucket, and assorted glassware.

Ernie's mouth opened, then snapped shut as he saw the look on Lola's face. The elbow she dug into his rib made her meaning plain, just in case he'd missed it. "Uh, no thanks," he said.

"All right, then, we'll get straight to business," said Bascomb, with a twinkle in his eye. He'd noticed the elbow. "I think the captain's come up with a plan that addresses your problems fairly directly," he continued.

"He has?" Lola's brow furrowed. "What does he know about our problems, anyway?"

"Well, you'll probably want to ask him that," said Bascomb. "All he told me is that he figured out what was going on when he debriefed a robot that used to work here."

"A robot." Lola opened her mouth, then shut it again. After a moment's thought, she continued, "Well, that's certainly interesting. But maybe we should save that subject for later and find out what the captain's offering."

"Good idea," said Bascomb. "As a matter of fact, he's decided to improve the original offer a good deal. We'll buyout your 'share' in the casino for $7.5 million. But instead of the annual royalty, he's offering-the two of you full-time paid executive positions with the Fat Chance; The salary is pretty generous, but not outrageous-and the job description ought to be right up your alley. Basically, the captain wants you two to supervise our cheat -detecting operation. He figures you know the scams as well as anybody-and we'd rather have you on our side than working against us."

"I suppose we ought to take that as a compliment," said Lola. "If I were looking for a regular job, I guess it'd be as good as anything..."

Bascomb smiled. "There's more, in case you hadn't guessed. Figure in complimentary lodgings and meals in the casino hotel, and-I think this might be of particular interest to you-complete access to all of our facilities and services, including security."