"Well, solar is acceptably green, for the most part," said Chief Inspector Snieff. "I do want to find out about these backup systems, though. I'll have you know that I have made a study of most of the ways one can generate and store power, and the majority of them are very suspect, environmentally. I would hate to think..." Whatever Snieff would have hated to think, her revelation was interrupted by a loud exclamation from Barky, the Environmental Dog, who had wandered through the comm center, sniffing the equipment and eyeing the personnel, and had finally found his way to the door of the officers' lounge. There he had halted, staring inside the door and growling, which no one had quite noticed until he let loose with a series of loud barks.
"What in space...?" said Phule. He strode over to the door and looked inside to see what had caused the dog's reaction. There, to his surprise, stood Tusk-anini, on top of a chair, his head scraping the ceiling. The Volton was scowling down his long snout at the Environmental Dog.
"Uh-oh," said Phule.
"Tell famous doggy would be most healthy for him to stay distant," said Tusk-anini calmly, but emphatically. "I no want to be hurting little Earth animal. But I tell you now-doggy tries to bite, Tusk-anini doing what he needing to do."
"Barky!" said Inspector Gardner. "Come on, fella leave the nice sophont alone. He can't help it if he smells..."
"Tusk-anini no smell," said the Volton. "Doggy smell...usk -anini stink."
"Now, let's not take things too literally," said Phule, stepping gingerly between Tusk-anini and Barky, now apparently pacified. Inspector Gardner was down on one knee beside the dog, scratching him between the shoulder blades and holding lightly on to his collar. "Would it be fair to say that Barky's nose is perhaps a little too sensitive, Inspector Snieff?"
The AEIOU inspector sniffed. "Barky is a genetically enhanced ultracanine, highly trained to discern the smells of pollution and other assaults on the environment. If some of the sophonts in your company carry odors like those of common pollutants, it may be no surprise that he reacts to them with hostility. Would it be fair to say that perhaps some of your legionnaires need to bathe more frequently, Captain Jester?"
"Begging your pardon, Chief Inspector, I seriously doubt that is the problem," said Beeker. "If I may be permitted to say so, I can testify, based on personal observation, that the bathing facilities on this post would be the pride of many private athletic clubs."
"Maybe," said Inspector Slurry. "Probably waste water, too."
"I think I can respond to that," said Phule, grinning. "This base module is about as water-efficient as you can contrive, Inspector. A military unit in an arid environment can't afford to take water for granted. We recover, reuse, recycle, and recondition every possible drop of water. In fact, about the only way we could do better would be to capture the perspiration of our legionnaires working outside the base. And if we really needed to do that, I suspect we could find a way to do it..."
"Undoubtedly by throwing even more money at it," said Snieff. "Have you ever sat down and calculated how many resources your company requires to maintain this exorbitant lifestyle?"
"Oh, yes," said Phule. "I think you'd find the figures very interesting. If you compare us to units of similar size, on similar missions, you'll find that Omega Company actually has a significantly less negative impact on the environment than a typical military operation. Granted, I've solved a lot of our problems by spending money-but it's my money I'm spending, not the government's, and I make very sure I get what I'm paying for."
"Never minding money," said Tusk-anini. "Why don't you taking Barky dog away so Tusk-anini can finish reading book? Am halfway through Old Earth classic and want to know how it comes out." He pointed to the thick volume on the floor. The spine of the book displayed the curious word, Dhalgren.
"Woof!" said Barky, the Environmental Dog, sniffing the book, but then Inspector Gardner clapped his hands, and a few moments later, the Environmental Dog and all the other visitors left the Officers' Lounge to Tusk-anini. With a snort of relief, the Volton stepped off the table and picked up his book. He wasn't quite sure where the story was leading, but on the whole it wasn't any stranger than most of the other human literature he'd read. Which, he thought as he settled down, wasn't saying very much...
The Fat Chance Casino was crowded as Ernie made his way through the gaming rooms. No surprise there; according to the local news taper, several large space liners had just made their regular stopovers at Lorelei, and the travel-weary passengers were eagerly getting what they'd come for: first-class dining, lavish entertainment, and highstakes gambling. The sight of all the expensively dressed suckers with fat credit accounts made Ernie's mouth water. It was every grifter's dream, and there were plenty of grifters willing to take advantage of it. Except in the Fat Chance Casino, where Captain Jester had ordered his security forces to clamp down on anything that might cut into the players' enjoyment--or the house's percentage. He stopped at the bar and ordered a drink-a tall glass of quinine water with a twist of lime. No alcohol tonight;
that had been another of his promises to Lola. Instead, he'd brought along an Aromacap: a tiny capsule filled with an aromatic oil that, rubbed on the skin, conveyed the exact odor of an expensive brand of imported gin. If the marks or casino security-thought he'd been drinking heavily, they were likely to underestimate him. Better yet, as long as he stuck to Aldebaran Amber Gin, Ernie had a fair chance of convincing Lola that he'd been using the Aromacap instead of knocking back a few G'n'T's while he was supposed to be working.
But this time, Ernie had promised Lola to stay straight. More importantly, he'd promised not to do anything that might draw the attention of security-either the casino's or Victor Phule's very professional bodyguard. That meant resisting the temptation to pocket any loose change that might be lying around, such as waiters' uncollected tips or customers' unattended handbags. And it meant not carrying any of a number of devices meant to increase the odds in his favor, devices generally frowned upon both by the casinos and by those players who were naive enough to expect that everyone else in the game was playing by the rules. Especially in the Fat Chance, the ownership took exception to such devices-and its guards seemed to have a better-than-average record at spotting them in use.
In most places, he'd have taken his chances and figured on tipping the security guards to turn a blind eye. But the Fat Chance Casino's policy was to expel any cheaters it caught not just from the casino, but from Lorelei itself and its guards were apparently tip-proof. If Ernie and Lola were identified as cheats, their chances of completing the mission that brought them here shrank very close to zero, as did their chances of convincing a certain Mr. V to let them keep breathing. That was good enough to convince Ernie to keep his hands to himself and leave his educated dice at home.
His specific mission tonight was to find either of the Phules, Willard (A.K.A. Captain Jester) or his father Victor. In principle, that was a no-brainer. He knew what both men looked like and had a fair idea where, in the public parts of the casino, they might be found this time of day. In practice, as his previous experience with the younger Phule had taught him, the job was far from easy.
On their previous visit to Lorelei, Ernie and Lola had laid a subtle trap to kidnap the captain of Omega Company, and on the space liner away from Lorelei Station, found themselves in custody of an Andromatic robot whose features were a dead ringer for Captain Jester's. The situation had fallen entirely apart when the robot had commandeered an escape pod and left the space liner entirely. Luckily, nobody on board ship had managed to connect them to the incident, or else (in addition to their other troubles) they might now be trying to figure out how to come up with the replacement value of a deep-space escape pod. Ernie had no idea whether the robot had been recovered or replaced; certainly the Phules could afford to do either.