"Hello!" said Phule. "This is Captain Jester of Omega Company. Welcome to Zenobia! I've got my people preparing a landing area for you, so I'm going to ask you to take one more orbit of the planet." Beeker rolled his eyes. He knew, as surely as he knew Zenobia's sun would rise the next morning, that there was going to be more trouble. And he knew perfectly well whose job it was going to be to get Phule out of it. He sighed. He'd taken the job with open eyes, and there was no point getting annoyed about it now. Still, the boy ought to have learned something by now...

8

Journal #688

My employer, for all his dedication to the military life, was at bottom a businessman. In that, he resembled his father. He also resembled that gentleman in a firm conviction that his own view of the world was fundamentally accurate, and that others who did not share it were in need of correction. Unlike his father, he was at least willing to give those others sufficient data to arrive at such a correction. It did not occur to him that others might interpret the same data differently...

It must have been some such motivation that induced him to invite the AEIOU inspection team to tour the Legion base camp. The fact that, to all appearances, they had come to the planet with. the express purpose of shutting down that very camp seemed to carry no weight with him.

Surely he can't have been so foolish as to believe that an afternoon's VIP tour would be enough to overcome the chief inspector's evident belief that a military unit was by its very definition incapable of adhering to environmentally correct policies.

"Welcome to Zenobia Base," said Lieutenant Rembrandt, smiling as she met Chief Inspector Snieff and her AEIOU team in the courtyard. Phule had chosen her and Sushi, who had the closest approximation of all his legionnaires to something resembling diplomatic temperament, to make up the greeting party.

The three AEIOU inspectors, accompanied by Barky, the Environmental Dog, had walked from their camp to the Legion base. Phule had, of course, offered to send a hoverjeep for them, but Snieff had turned him down peremptorily. "Nonessential energy use is a crime against posterity," she snarled. "The Legion should have a greater sense of its role in preserving precious resources." Now Chief Inspector Snieff looked suspiciously at Omega Company's modular base camp unit. "I see a great many artificial materials being used here," she said. "That must have had a high energy cost." She and her two assistants were wearing uniforms of some coarsely woven natural fiber.

"We don't have very much choice in a semiarid setting," said Rembrandt. "The Zenobians insisted that we site our base camp here, so as not to use up territory they considered more valuable. As you may know..."

"The Zenobians should consider all their territory untouchable," said Inspector Slurry. "If the locals can't recognize its value, it's our mission to show them. We have already had ample occasion to marvel at the wildlife in this area..."

"That's funny," said Sushi, with a broad smile. "I've had quite a few encounters with the wildlife out there. As best as I can recall, I was usually too busy trying to keep the little beasties from biting or stinging me to have much time left to marvel at them. Do you have some kind of secret vermin repellent, or do the local critters just respect your proper green attitude?"

"Sushi!" said Rembrandt. Phule had instructed them to avoid antagonizing the visitors.

"That's all right, Lieutenant," said Inspector Gardner, with a grin-apparently the only one the AEIOU team had brought with it. He turned to Sushi, and said, "We get our share of bites, too. The main trick to avoiding them is to learn when the various animals are actively feeding and stay out of their territory then. If we absolutely have to work in a certain area when the local bug equivalents are active, we wear protective clothing."

Snieff nodded. "After all, our blood could be poisonous to them-which means their bites would do them a lot more harm than us. This is their world, after all-we would be remiss if we exposed them to danger."

"I don't know;" said Sushi. "I bet the other animals on the planet don't think twice about squishing a bug that's trying to bite them. Why, when we were traveling through the desert with Flight Leftenant Qual..."

"Why don't we take our visitors to meet the captain?" said Rembrandt, cutting Sushi off in midsentence. She'd already heard how Qual had used his stunner to clear annoying vermin from the legionnaires' path during their desert mission a few months before, and she was didn't expect the AEIOU team would find the story enlightening. She was also under strict orders to get the inspectors inside the base before the hunting party's shuttle began its landing approach. "I think you'll be surprised; at some of the environmentally friendly features built into the module," she said, pointing toward the closest entrance. "If you'll follow me inside..."

"Woof!" said Barky. The Environmental Dog had been sitting politely nearby, generally ignoring the activity in the camp around him. Quickly, Rembrandt turned, hoping there wasn't going to be trouble. Phule had warned everyone in Omega Company that the dog was coming to visit. That gave the nonhuman legionnaires, or anyone else to whom Barky seemed to have taken a particular dislike, the chance to make themselves scarce. That didn't mean that Barky might not take a particular dislike to yet another member of the Omega Mob...

There stood Mahatma, smiling his beatific smile at the Environmental Dog. "Hello," said the little legionnaire. "It is not often that a famous animal star visits Omega Company." Rembrandt took a deep breath. So far, at least, Barky didn't seem to be taking exception to Mahatma's presence. But she knew Mahatma too well, especially his uncanny ability to find the single most unsettling question to ask in any given situation. That might not make Barky angry, but she couldn't be sure that Chief Inspector Snieff wouldn't sic the dog on him if she thought he was getting impertinent. And Mahatma could get very impertinent...

"Mahatma," said Lieutenant Rembrandt, "weren't you supposed to be on perimeter guard duty just now?" Maybe he'd get the hint...

But Mahatma wasn't taking any hints. "I wonder why the inspectors risk bringing a genetically engineered animal to this world?" Rembrandt stepped forward, putting an arm around Mahatma's shoulders. "Uh, I'm sure the inspectors know exactly what they're doing..."

"Oh, we can speak for ourselves, Lieutenant," said Chief Inspector Snieff, with a predatory smile. "Of course Barky is genetically engineered," she continued. "But since there are no other creatures of his species here, there is no chance of his passing on his genes, and therefore no threat to the Zenobian environment."

"On worlds with other dogs, we take additional precautions, naturally," added Inspector Slurry.

"Naturally," said Mahatma, still smiling broadly.

"Well, shall we go see the captain?" said Rembrandt, attempting to herd the environmental inspectors toward the entrance to the base module. It was only a matter of moments before Mahatma sprung his inevitable follow up question, which was likely to be even more unsettling than the first one.

She wasn't fast enough. "Of course, there are other ways for those genes to get into the environment;" said Mahatma.

Slurry looked at him quizzically. "I'm not sure what you mean..."

Mahatma's smile got even wider. "There are many hungry beasts on this planet," he said. "What if one of them ate the poor Environmental Dog?"

"Ate Barky?" said Snieff, her jaw falling.

"Be very, very careful," urged Mahatma. "I am sure the AEIOU would not want to be responsible for destroying an unspoiled ecology because it let its famous mascot roam about unguarded." He smiled and bowed, and turned away, leaving the three inspectors dumbfounded.