I've met in my whole life because he likes people and
ain't afraid to show it. More important, he ain't afraid
to risk his neck to help somebody even if it isn 't in his
best interest. I work double hard for him because I
don't want to see anything happen to him ... and if that
means comin' along on weird trips like this, then that's
the way it is. Anybody that wants to hurt him is gonna
have to come through me ... and that includes fightin'
any of you if you want to try to turn him into somethin'
he isn't and doesn't want to be."
Massha broke in with a loud clapping of her hands.
"Bravo, Guido," she said. "I think your problem,
Green and Scaly, is that your idea of success is out of
step with everyone else's. We all want to see good things
happen for Skeeve, here, but we also like him just the
way he is. We've got enough faith in his good sense to
back him in whatever move he makes in his develop-
ment... without trying to frog-march or trick him up a
specific path."
Aahz not only gave ground before this onslaught of
protest, he seemed to shrink in a little on himself.
"I like him too," he mumbled. "I've known him
longer than any of you, remember? He's doing fine, but
he could be so much more. How can he choose a path if
he can't see it? All I'm trying to do is set him up to be
bigger than I ... than we could ever think of being
ourselves. What's wrong with that?"
Despite my irritation at having my life discussed as if
I weren't in the room, I was quite touched, by my
friends' loyal defense of me, and most of all by Aahz.
"You know, partner," I said softly, "for a minute
there, you sounded just like my father. He wanted me to
be the best... or more specifically, to be better than he
was. My mom always tried to tell me that it was because
he loved me, but at that time it just sounded like he was
always being critical. Maybe she was right... I'm more
inclined to believe it today than I was then, but then
again, I'm older now. If nothing else, I've had to try to
tell people I love them when the words just won't come
. .. and gotten upset with myself when they couldn't see
it when I tried to show them.
"Aahz, I appreciate your concern and I want your
guidance. You're right, there are paths and options I
can't even comprehend yet. But I also have to choose
my own way. I want to be better eventually than I am
today, but not necessarily the best. I think Guide's
right, there's a big price tag attached to being at the top,
and I'd want to think long and hard if I wanted to pay it
... even if I was convinced I could, which I'm not. I do
know that if it means giving up the trust I have in you
and everybody else in this room, I'll settle for being a
nickel-and-dime operator. That price I'll never pay will-
ingly."
Silence started to descend again as each of us re-
treated into his or her own thoughts, then the werewolf
bounded into the middle of the assemblage.
"But what is this, eh?" he demanded. "Surely this
136
Robert Asprin
cannot be ze great team of Aahz and Skeeve, ze ones
who can laugh at any dan-gair? "
"You know, Pepe," Aahz said warningly, "you've
got a great future as a stuffed head."
"My head?" The werewolf blinked. "But she is not
... oohh. I see now. You make ze joke, eh? Good. Zat
is more like it."
"... and as far as laughing at danger goes," I joined
in, determined to hold up my end of the legend, "the
only danger I see here is dying of boredom. Where is
Vilhelm anyway?"
"I know you and Aahz are fond of each other,
Skeeve," Chumley yawned, "but you've got to spend
more time with other people. You're starting to sound
like him. Maybe you can tag along the next time I have
an assignment."
"Over my dead body," my partner said. "Besides,
what could he learn from a troll that I couldn't teach
him myself?"
"J could teach him not to catch birds for Deveels for
ten gold pieces," the troll grinned, winking at his sister.
"That seems to be a part of his education you've ne-
glected."
"Izzat so!" my partner bristled. "You're going to
teach him about price setting? How about the time you
set your own sister up to steal an elephant without
bothering to check...."
. And they were off again. As I listened, I found myself
reflecting on the fact that while it was nice to know the
depths of my friends' feelings about me, it was far more
comfortable when they managed to conceal it under a
cloak of banter. For the most part, open sincerity is
harder to take than friendly laughter.