fired smart?"

I started to rebuke my bodyguard, but slowly his

words sank in. That was a good question! Aahz was

strong ... I mean STRONG! By rights he should have

been able to rip the stone teeth out of the window all by

himself. What was keeping him here?

"Oh, I'm having so much fun in here I just couldn't

bear to leave," Aahz barked back. "I'm in here because

I can't get out, that's why. What's more, if any of you

have any ideas about how to get me out, I think now's a

real good time to share them with the rest of us."

"Wait a minute, Aahz," I said. "Why can't you get

out... and how did they catch you in the first place?"

"I was framed," my partner retorted, but I noticed

his voice was a bit more subdued.

"We already know that." Impressed. "What I want to

know is why you didn't just bust a few heads and sprint

for home? You've never been particularly respectful of

local authority before."

To my surprise, Aahz actually looked embarrassed.

"I was drugged," he said in a disgusted tone. "They

put something in my drink, and the next thing I knew I

had a stake and mallet in my hands and a room full of

officials. Whatever it was they used, it kept me groggy

all the way through the trial... I mean I couldn't walk

straight, much less defend myself coherently, and after

that I was in/we!"

"The old Mickey Finn trick!" Massha snorted, rock-

ing our entire formation. "I'm surprised someone as

off-worldly as you could get caught by such a corny

stunt."

"Yeah. It surprised me, too!" Aahz admitted. "I

mean, that gag is so old, who would really expect any-

one to try it at all?"

"Only if you figured the mark was louder than he was

smart," Guido sneered.

"Is that so!" my partner snapped, ready to renew

their old rivalry. "Well, when I get out of here, you and

me can...."

104 Robert Asprin

"Stop it, you two," I ordered. "Right now the

problem is to get us all out of here before the balloon

goes up ... no offense, Massha. Now spill, Aahz.

What's so special about this cell that's keeping you bot-

tled up?"

My partner heaved a great sigh.

"Take another look at it, Skeeve. A close look."

I did. It still looked the same to me: a tower room in

the shape of a dragon's head.

"Yeah. Okay. So?"

"So remember where we are. This thing was built to

hold vampire criminals. You know, beings with super-

human strength that can change into mist?"

My gaze flew back to the dragon's head.

"I don't get it," I admitted. "How can any stone cell

hold beings like that?"

"That's the point." Aahz winced. "A stone cell

can't\ This thing is made of living stone. If whoever's

inside tries to bust out, it swallows them. If they try to

turn into mist, it inhales them."

"You mean...."

"Now you're getting the picture."

He flashed his toothy grin at me despite his obvious

depression.

"The cell is alive!"

Startled by this revelation, I looked at the tower top

cell again. As if it had been waiting for the right cue, the

dragon's head opened its eyes and looked at me.