She quickly put a concerned hand to his arm. "I do know. That's not what I mean. You've never touched me in the other way. What I mean is that you never make those requirements of me." She chewed her lower lip. "The way you put your hand on me has me feeling very ashamed."

"Why?"

"Because you risked your life help me. You are my Lord Rahl, and I have not been honest with you."

Richard gestured, guiding them on the path around a column twenty men couldn't have held hands around. "You're getting me confused, Berdine."

"Well, I say that I am your favorite so that you will not think I don't like you."

"You are trying to say you don't like me?"

She clutched his arm again. "Oh no. I love you."

"Berdine, I told you I have — "

"Not like that. I mean I love you as my Lord Rahl. You have freed me. You have seen that I am more than simply Mord-Sith, and you have trusted me. You saved my life and returned me to whole. I love you for the kind of Lord Rahl you are."

Richard shook his head as if to clear it. "You're not making any sense. What does this have to do with you always saying that you're my favorite.

"I say that so you won't think I wouldn't willingly go to your bed if asked. I feared that if you knew that I didn't want to, then you would force me, to be perverse."

Richard held the light out as they reached the passageway leading from the room. It looked a simple block hall. "Stop fretting about it." He motioned her onward. "I've told you I wouldn't."

"I know. And after what you did — " She touched her left breast. "—I believe you. But I didn't before. I'm beginning to see that you really are different in more ways than a few."

"Different from who?"

"Darken Rahl."

"Well, you're right about that." As they walked on down the long hall, again he suddenly looked at her. "Are you trying to tell me that you're in love with someone, and you have only been saying those things to me so than I wouldn't think you were trying to avoid my affections, and therefore wouldn't be provoked to force you?"

Her fist tightened on her braid as her blue eyes closed for a moment. "Yes."

"Really? I think that's wonderful, Berdine." At the end of the hall, they came to a broad room, the walls lined with bundled tufts of fur and hair hanging from framed panels. Richard studied the displays from a distance. He recognized one tuft as gar fur.

Richard looked over as he started out again and grinned. "Who is it?" He waved his hand, feeling a sudden flush of embarrassment that, considering her odd mood at the moment, he might be overstepping his bounds. "Unless you don't want to tell me. You don't have to tell me. I don't want you to feel you have to. It's your business, if you choose."

Berdine swallowed. “Because of the things you have done for us, for me, I wish to confess."

Richard made a face. "Confess? Telling me who you're in love with isn't a confession, it's — "

"Raina."

Richard's mouth snapped shut. He looked back to the way they were going. "Green tiles, left foot only. Right foot only on the white ones, until we cross this space. Don't skip a green or white tile. Touch the pedestal before you step from the last tile."

She followed him as he stepped carefully from the green to the white tiles until they had reached the stone floor on the other side, touched the pedestal, and moved into a tall, narrow corridor of sparkling silver stone, like a cleft in a huge jewel.

"How did you know that — the green-tlle-white-tile business?"

"What?" He glanced back with a frown. "I don't know. It must have been a shield or something." He looked back to her as she walked with her eyes on the floor. "Berdine, I love Raina, too. And Cara, and you, and Ulic and Egan. Kind of like family. Is that what you mean?" She shook her head without looking up. "But… Raina is a woman."

Berdine shot him a cool scowl.

"Berdine," he said after a long silence, "you had better not tell Raina this or — "

"Raina loves me, too."

Richard straightened, not knowing quite what to say. "But how can… you can't… I don't see… Berdine, why are you telling me this?"

"Because you have always been honest with us. At first, when you told us things, we thought you would not do as you said. Well, not all of us. Cara has always believed you, but I did not."

Her expression slipped back to the distant countenance of a Mord-Sith. "When Darken Rahl was our Lord Rahl, he found out, and he ordered me to his bed. He laughed at me. He… liked to take me to his bed because he knew. It was his way of humiliating me. I thought that if you knew, too, you would do the same, so I tried to hide it from you by making you think I fancied you."

Richard shook his head. "Berdine, t wouldn't do that to you."

"I know that, now. That is why I had to confess to you, because you've always been honest with me, but I was not honest with you."

Richard, shrugged. "Well, then I'm glad you feel better." He thought as he turned her down a winding hall of plastered walls. "Did Darken Rahl make you this way, by choosing you to become a Mord-Sith? Is that what made you hate men?"

She frowned up at him. "I do not hate men. I just, I don't know, I just always looked at girls from the time I was young. Boys didn't interest me in that way." She drew her hand down her braid. "Now you hate me?"

"No, No, I don't hate you, Berdine. You are my protector, the same as always. But can't you try to not think about her or something? It just isn't right."

She smiled distantly. "When Raina smiles at me in her special way, and the day is suddenly wonderful, it seems right. When she touches my face, and my heart races, it seems right. I know my heart is safe in her care." Her smile withered. "But now you think I am despicable."

Richard looked away, shame coming over him in a cold wave. "That's the way I feel about Kahlan. One time, my grandfather said I should forget about her, but there was no way I could."

"Why would he say that?"

Richard couldn't tell her that it was because Kahlan was a Confessor, and Zedd was doing it for Richard's best interest; no one was supposed to be able to love a Confessor. He felt bad that he couldn't be honest with Berdine now. He shrugged. "He didn't think she was the one for me."

Richard pulled her through another of the tingly kind of shields when they reached the end of the hall. The triangular room had a bench. He sat her down beside him and set the glowing ball between them.

"Berdine, I think I can see how you feel. I know how I felt when my grandfather said I should forget Kahlan. No one else can tell you what to feel. You either do, or you don't. Though I don't understand or approve of this, all of you are becoming my friends. Being a friend means you don't have to be exactly alike, and you are still friends."

"Lord Rahl,I know that you can never accept me, but I had to tell you. Tomorrow, I will return to D'Hara. You should not have 10 have one you do not appicve of as your guard."

Richard thought a minute. "Do you like boiled peas?"

Berdine frowned. "Yes."

"Well, I hate boiled peas. Does that make you like me any!ess, because I disiike something you like? Or make you want to abandon being my protector?"

She made a face. "Lord Rahl, this is different from boiled peas. How can you have faith in someone you do not approve of?"

"It's not that I don't approve of you, Berdine. It's just that to me it doesn't seem right. But it doesn't have to. Look, I had a friend when I was younger, another woods guide. Giles and I spent a lot of lime together, because we had a lot in common.

"He fell in love with Lucy Fleckner. I hated Lucy Fleckner; she was cruel to Giles. I couldn't understand how he could care for her. I didn't like her, and I thought he should feel the same. I lost my friend because he couldn't be the way I thought he should be. I didn't lose him because of Lucy, I lost him because of me. I lost all the good things we had because I wasn't willing to let him be who he was. I've always regretted what I lost, "I guess this is something like that. As you learn to be other than Mord-Sith, like I learned as I grew up, you'll find that being a friend is to like a person for who they are, even the parts you don't understand. The reasons you like them makes the things you don't understand unimportant. You don't have to understand, or do the same, or live their lives for them. If you truly care for them, then you want them to be who they are; that was why you liked them in the first place.