“This isn’t something you can control!” Ben said, hanging onto him with all his strength. “You can’t just push me away and expect to stop feeling--”

“I can’t do this anymore!” Tim bellowed, pulling his arm away and shoving Ben again when he tried to get close. His face was a twisted mask of anger, but tears were flowing from his eyes. “It’s over. Go home.”

Ben tried stepping toward him once more, but this time Tim pushed him so hard that Ben fell to the ground. Tim towered over him, his silver eyes wet, angry, reluctant, and scared, before they closed and he turned away. Ben watched the best thing that had ever happened to him fade into the shadows and disappear around the corner. As he lay in the grass, listening to the muffled sound of laughter and clinking glasses, he marveled at how quickly his world had fallen apart.

__________

Chapter 15

The next week was spent waiting. Ben tried to tell himself this was just another fight. Tim would calm down, eventually feel safe again, and would return to him. All he needed was space. That was what Ben’s brain was telling him. His heart, on the other hand, felt something very different.

When his calls weren’t returned the second week, Ben decided to write Tim a letter. He stressed that there wasn’t going to be any trouble with the cops. Ben’s father had covered for him, claiming that Ben was out with his sister that night. Mr. Bentley was no fool. He understood that it would only be inconvenient and possibly expensive if he let the police take his son. Ben’s parents hadn’t been happy, of course, but they preferred to administer their own justice.

News of what had happened wasn’t likely to spread around the school either. Daniel Wigmore was uncharacteristically tightlipped about the event. He had no doubt tipped off the cops to Ben’s name, but had no intention of informing his peers at school. Most likely he was afraid that one of them would put two and two together. The police were out that night looking for an arsonist. What Ben and Tim had been up to was obvious, but what was Daniel doing there? In retrospect Ben could swear that the sound on the pavement had been a plastic lighter and that Daniel’s silence was further testament to his guilt.

By the end of the second week, it was clear that Tim had no intention of responding. That only left one option—sneaking into the Wyman residence at night and slipping into bed with him. Ben rebelled against the idea. He was sick of feeling like he had done something wrong. Any other couple would be laughing about being caught by the police, or at the very least come together in times of trouble. Why did Ben feel like he had to apologize? Why should he have to talk Tim into being with him? That wasn’t how love worked, was it?

“Ronnie changed the lyrics.” Allison shoved a piece of paper into Ben’s hand.

“What? The talent show is tomorrow!”

“I know, but he only changed a few lines. Just read it.”

Ben browsed the new text, eyes growing wider by the second.

“I hope you’re not mad,” Allison said. “I told him everything, and it just fell into place. What do you think?”

Ben features set with determination. “If they’re willing to play it, I’ll sing it.”

They spent the evening practicing the new lines, Ben’s emotions growing with every word he sang. They carried him through to the next day, when his nerves started playing up at the idea of performing in front of the entire school. The gymnasium, usually separated by a folding wall between the girls and boys sides, had been opened. The bleachers were moved to the far wall, opposite the stage on the other end. Students were stuffed into every available inch, the bleachers groaning under their weight and the floor lost beneath a mass of bodies.

Ben felt like he was going to pass out. Luckily they weren’t the first act on stage. Cheerleaders performed coordinated dance moves to the latest and most dreadful pop songs. Band kids played different instruments, some more successfully than others, and a handful of choir students attempted to sing against the constant chattering of students.

Then there were the drama class kids performing small scenes and skits. The most notable of these was two guys dressed as Mario and Luigi who squatted repeatedly while making farting noises to the video game theme song, taking breaks only to hit each other with large inflatable mallets. This was particularly popular with everyone.

Finally it was their turn. As Ebony and Ivory set up their instruments on stage, Ben’s bravery returned. No matter what the school thought of him and what he was about to sing, he was among friends. Allison, of course, but Ronnie too, who had been so sympathetic with his song writing. Leon had always been a comforting presence to Ben, and even the drummer was someone he knew. Craig smiled at Ben and showed off by twirling a drumstick.

Ben turned back to the audience, to a room full of strangers, but he felt strong. Ronnie struck the first chord and the song began. The instruments were loud enough to drown out the audience’s voices. Every single person in the room was forced to listen. Just before their first line, Ben saw him. Five rows back and surrounded by his false friends was Tim Wyman. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect as Ben and Allison sang.

“I spotted you, cresting wave upon a distant sea,

a moon of perfect splendor set high above the trees.”

Tim’s eyes grew wide, as if Ben were about to single him out, but Ben and Allison began to dance around each other to enact the next line and Tim was lost to his sight.

“Hopeless I pursued, hungry shadow chasing light,

You ran, I stumbled, until somehow we took flight.”

Ben and Allison turned to face each other, and he could see that she had spotted Tim as well. Her eyes asked Ben if he was okay and he nodded before they sang the next verse.

“So proud to be near you, I found warmth beneath your wing,

But you only covered me so they couldn’t see a thing.”

Allison and Ben retreated to the back of the stage as Ronnie and Leon stepped forward, tearing up the stage with the instrumental bridge. They had most of the audience’s attention, the music too loud for their conversations to continue. Ben scanned the crowd until he found Tim again.

“Sing the rest of it to him,” Allison shouted in his ear.

Why not? As they returned to the front of the stage, Ben opened the floodgates.

“All those traits I dreamed were you, I found inside of me,

The bravery and beauty, that you’re too blind to see.”

Tim shifted under Ben’s gaze, and for a moment it looked as though he was going to turn away, but he couldn’t. Maybe he didn’t want to appear obvious or maybe he simply had to hear what Ben had to say. Either way, he couldn’t leave.

“The wave I once knew has crashed, wet thunder come undone,

The hollow light of your moon, glitter stolen from the sun.”

Ben felt Allison’s hand on his shoulder, and he understood. The last verse was his. She was letting him sing it alone. In that moment, Ben was convinced that he and Tim were alone, that they were the last two souls in the world. And Ben still loved him, but more than that, he was hurt and angry.

“There’s a coward and a fool, and both of them are you,