I scoffed. Fat chance of that. Between Susan’s heart attack, Ellie’s betrayal, and Xander’s lies, I wouldn’t be able to sleep for a year straight.

Matt got up and retook his spot on his side of the booth. “Will you at least try? It’s been five days. She’s probably being discharged soon.”

“I’ll think about it.”

He nodded, then continued eating his lunch. I picked at my salad for a few minutes. Then Matt looked up with an odd expression on his face.

“Incoming,” he muttered, staring toward the entrance.

I turned to see Xander strolling toward our table. As our eyes met, I quickly turned back to Matt.

Help, I mouthed, and he laughed at my wide-eyed look of panic. Matt took one glimpse at my face and gave me flustered look that said, What do you want me to do?

We really need to stop having lunch at the same place. Too predictable.

“Sorry to interrupt your lunch,” Xander said, stopping beside my seat.

“No, you’re not,” I blurted out. I stared down at my plate, but I was really watching him in my peripheral. I tried to pretend he wasn’t there—like if I wished him away enough, it would happen.

“Avery,” he said, trying to get my attention.

I finally looked up at him and said, “Still stalking me?”

He smiled, his dimples on full display. It wasn’t fair that he looked so beautiful despite all the shit going on right now.

“I’d call it an interest in preserving something special,” he declared.

“I’d call it obsessive attachment.”

“If so, you’ll have to take me back on for extensive treatment. Help me work you out of my system.” He raised a brow, but he wasn’t going to bait me into meeting up for a session. He was officially off my schedule.

“I’m going to go. If you need me…” Matthew stood, then waved his phone to indicate I could call him if I needed to, and left. I shook my head at him, but he just smiled as he walked away.

Some friend he is.

Xander slid into the booth with a big, satisfied smile on his face.

“You were trying to get rid of him.” I glared at him.

“Why would I want to do that? It’s just a business lunch.” He shrugged.

“And if it’s more?” I challenged, trying to get a rise out of him.

“Is it?” he asked, furrowing his brows.

“That isn’t your business.” I continued pushing my food around, my appetite completely gone now.

“Don’t fuck with me, Avery. If I’m up against him, I need to know.” He leaned a little closer across the table.

“There’s no competition. There’s nothing left between us, Xander.” I glanced up but immediately dropped my gaze back to my plate.

“Just answer one thing.” He rested his elbows on the table. “Did you fuck?”

“Why should it matter to you? Matt and I were together long before you.” This time I met his stare.

“But now you’re mine!”

I looked around and saw a few people glancing our way.

“Do you hear yourself? My God, Matt’s just a friend. But you’re not the only one who can use sex as a coping device.”

He sat back, anger glistening in his gaze and his jaw tightly clenched. There were a few minutes of silence where we just stared at each other, fighting an unspoken battle. He looked tired and frazzled.

“Are you sleeping?” Why did I ask that?

He looked back at me and shook his head.

“You know lack of sleep can make you feel like you’re losing your mind.” I must be losing mine, because I’m showing concern for his well-being.

“I don’t think it’s the insomnia this time.” He grabbed my hands and scooted forward. “Look, I really need you. I know you don’t want to be with me anymore, but can we resume our professional relationship?”

I chuckled, but he continued to stare at me with serious pleading eyes. “Nothing between you and me stays professional.” I looked down at our joined hands and pulled mine back. It felt a little too comfortable to let him hold me. “And you know that.”

“Avery, please. I promise to tone it down. No touching, no flirting, just you and me talking. I want to have a chance to explain why I did the things I did. Why I kept things from you.”

“Why you lied.”

He looked away. He couldn’t even look me in the eyes and tell me he lied. Why would I believe he even saw the error in how he handled things? “I’m sorry, Xander, but I’m just not ready for this.” I picked up my bag, then got up and left.

Houseguest

Xander

“Xander?” The faulty reception on my phone made Veronica sound far away.

“What’s going on, Veronica?” The last time I’d seen her in L.A., she’d been so angry I thought I’d never hear from her again.

“I need you to pick me up.” The reception was improving, but I still couldn’t make sense of why she thought I’d come back to California for her. She must be high again.

“I’m not in L.A., Veronica. You know that.” I said it slowly, like I was speaking to a child.

“Neither am I. I’m at Sea-Tac International Airport.”

I swerved onto the shoulder and stopped the car. “What are you doing at Sea-Tac?”

“I really needed to get away, Xander. Please… can I stay with you for a few days? I promise no drugs or drinking. I just need to disappear for a few days.”

“Why the fuck wouldn’t you ask me that before you got your ass on the plane?”

She was quiet for a few seconds. Then she admitted, “Because I knew you’d say no, and if I was already here…”

I’d let her stay.

Fuck!

“I’ll come get you, but two days max. I got too much going on to deal with your shit too.”

“Thanks, Xander.” Her tone perked up before I clicked off the line, made a U-turn, and headed to the airport. Veronica was trouble, but for years we helped each other out, and I couldn’t just leave her stranded in Seattle when she needed to get away. Our friendship had become too much of a codependent thing. Drugs, alcohol, sex, rinse, repeat. I didn’t want to get stuck in the cycle again. I knew about needing to get away, and there was nowhere more secluded than my place.

~*~*~

Two nights later, Veronica and I sat at a bar a couple blocks down from Avery’s office. Turns out my place was a little too secluded for her. I wanted to be as inconspicuous as possible, but she was making us stick out. I’d been asked for more autographs since I walked into the bar than during the entirety of my return to Seattle. Her new boyfriend had struck her, and I was the first person she’d thought of as an escape. I’m glad she left, but she needed to change her life, maybe go back to rehab. She’d promised to stop the drug usage, and for two days she’d maintained that, but at this point in the night, she was already wasted.

She tossed back her fourth shot and motioned for the bartender to give her another. “Stop sulking,” she said, shoving me with her shoulder. “Your mom will be fine, and fuck Avery. I didn’t like that bitch anyway.”

Of course she didn’t like Avery. She’d made my dick permanently unavailable for her to ride. And she’d tried.

“Never argue with a therapist. They take everything you say or do and turn it into some sort of neurosis or psychosis.” She chuckled, then slid her shot glass in front of me. “Here, this will help.”

I slid it back to her and said, “You know I don’t drink anymore.”

“I know.” She rolled her eyes. “You don’t drink, you don’t fuck—”

“Oh, I still fuck. It’s just not so random anymore.”

“Whatever, we’ll just leave this here in case you need it.” She slid it back in front of me, then hopped off her barstool and headed to the dance floor.

Since Avery walked out of the diner a few days before, I’d made myself scarce. Maybe Veronica was a reminder of what my life would be like without Avery, and I didn’t like it. So despite my reservations, I picked up my phone and called her.