SURVIVAL EYEBLACK

As mentioned in the Duct Tape Snow Goggles hack in this chapter, taking steps to prevent eye burn from the sun or snow can be critical to survival. A very effective way to hack your own survival eyeblack in the field is to mix some lip balm with crushed charcoal. Although the wax-based balm will work, petroleum jelly–based products work even better. Smear the greasy “paint” beneath your eyes to prevent sun glare and also improve visibility in both desert and Arctic conditions.

2-LITER SAFETY GOGGLES

I consider safety goggles a necessity in any disaster survival scenario. The ability to quickly make a pair from trash is a great skill to have. A trash 2-liter bottle is the perfect hack for this. The curved contour of the bottle makes a pair of light-duty safety goggles that naturally curl around your eyes and face without the use of a tie or elastic strap. Using a knife or scissors, cut a 2" section from the center of a 2-liter bottle. Next, make a top-to-bottom slice through one side so that you can open up the circle. Carve a groove for the bridge of your nose, and line the edges with tape for a comfortable fit. The ends can be tapered like a pair of sunglasses if you find that more comfortable. A head strap is optional but recommended.

THE BEST NATURAL MOSQUITO REPELLENT

Mosquitoes are arguably worse in the North Woods. Many woodsmen from Michigan or Alaska will tell you that the mosquito is their state bird. Ironically, one of the best natural mosquito repellents is only found in the North Woods—birch oil. The trick is extracting birch oil from the white, papery bark of the birch tree. To do it, you’ll need 2 cans. One should be approximately the size of a 1-gallon paint can with a lid and the other about the size of a small soup can. Fill the large paint can with birch bark, put on the metal lid, and then punch a hole in the center bottom. Bury the small can in the ground so that the open top is flush with the ground and place the larger bark-filled can directly on top of it so that the hole is over the smaller can. Finally, build a fire around the large can and let it burn for about 30 minutes. The heat will extract the oil from the bark, which will drip into the smaller can below. Smear this oil on your skin to repel mosquitoes.

A NOT-SO-STRAWEFUL TICK PULLER

Ticks are nasty critters and the bane of many a woodsman. The best way to rid yourself of ticks is to pinch the head with tweezers and pull upward with steady, even pressure. In the absence of suitable tweezers, make a tick puller from a plastic drinking straw. Using a knife or scissors, cut an eye-shaped hole toward the end of the straw large enough to fit over the tick’s body. The outside tip of the eye cut (the side closest to the edge of the straw) should come to a very fine point. Slide the eye over the tick and pull from the side, wedging the tick’s head and neck in the corner of this fine-cut point. Steadily pull until the tick detaches, and then wash the affected area with soap and water.

HORSEFLY SHOTGUN

Black flies and horseflies can be a force to be reckoned with during hot summer months. When I was a boy, I learned a simple and fun trick to quickly and easily kill them. It happened by accident at the beach. Whenever we went to the beach I would bring my slingshot so that I could launch dog food kibbles into the water for fish to eat. While I was playing in the sand, the black flies and horseflies were driving me crazy. I noticed a big horsefly that landed on my sand castle, and having run out of dog food kibble ammunition, I filled my slingshot pouch with a pinch of beach sand and blasted him from nearly 5' away. The sand dispersed in a shotgun effect when launched from the slingshot, and I quickly discovered that I could kill any black fly or horsefly within a 10' radius—even flying!

HYGIENE HACKS

BBQ SPIT BATH

This hack comes from one of my favorite movies of all time—The Book of Eli. Prepackaged wet naps that you’ll often find at BBQ restaurants make perfect mini spit bath towelettes. I keep a couple in most of my survival kits for just that purpose. They are typically free, weigh almost nothing, and do not expire as far as I’ve noticed. Two wet naps make for a pretty decent spit bath. There is a bit of a science to mini towelette spit bathing. Use the first one for your face, neck, armpits, and feet, in that order. Use the second for your unmentionables, front to back. If you wish to reuse, boil to sterilize in a small cup or can of water and repeat.

ULTRALIGHT CLOTHESPINS

All clothing becomes less efficient when the fibers are clogged with dirt, grime, and oils. They lose breathability and insulating properties, which are both important features to warm- and cold-weather survival. Washing clothing may become a necessity in order to maintain good field hygiene. Drying your wet clothes on a line in the sun or by the fire can be a little tricky if the wind picks up. I recently discovered the coolest little lightweight clothespins while I was making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich of all things. Plastic bread bag clips are the perfect shape for clipping a garment onto a paracord drying line. The rigid hooks hold the garment tightly and securely even during wind gusts. I’ve added a few to my bug out bag just in case! Note: A bread bag clip can also prevent the toe thong from pulling through on your camp sandals. Just slide it between the bottom of the shoe and the button on the end of the toe thong.

SELF-DEFENSE HACKS

RIOT MASK

Whether you find yourself in the middle of a riot, terrorist attack, or severe natural disaster, the ability to make a quick and effective improvised protective face mask is an invaluable skill. A really impressive mask can be made from almost any large clear plastic water bottle or gallon jug, some duct tape, string, and a T-shirt.

Cut off the bottom of the container and then the back side as shown in the illustration. Foam weather stripping works great to seal the edges around your face, but duct tape is a good next-best solution. Stuff a T-shirt into the neck of the bottle to act as a filter and remove the cap. Finally, pierce 4 holes (2 on each side) in the mask and use string to tie it tightly against your face. This not only helps to protect your eyes and face from flying debris but also helps to prevent the inhalation of smoke and toxic ash.

TWISTED PARACORD PERIMETER ALARM

Paracord can be wound and twisted to make very effective trigger systems for both traps and perimeter alarms. This hack will demonstrate how it can be attached to a tripwire to alarm you when someone is approaching your camp. Start by tying 2 pieces of paracord between 2 small trees. The ideal distance between trees is less than 2'. Insert a stick between the 2 pieces of paracord and twist until the line develops enough pressure to spin when you let it go. Place your tripwire across the trail and attach the end of the line to the lower portion of this trigger stick with a loop while it is wound very tightly. The taut tripwire and loop will hold the trigger stick in place. Finally, hang a cluster of empty cans so they dangle in the path of the spinning trigger stick. When the line is disturbed the loop will be pulled from the bottom and release the spinning trigger stick into the cluster of cans, sounding the alarm.