“You know what I mean,” I angrily stated. “You’re quiet around your brothers, and you never voice a problem if we have one. You wait till we’re alone to go all cave man on me.”
“I’m a private person,” Ryder shrugged, not allowing his eyes to stray from mine. “Anything between us will always be private so if I have to cuss your sexy ass out, or spank it and kiss it better, it will all be in private. I’m a patient person, you can piss me off all day and I’ll smile and nod… until we’re alone, then your ass is mine.”
I shuddered. “I don’t doubt you.”
“Good, never doubt me.”
I frowned. “I never have.”
“I’m sorry about tonight, okay? I regretted what I said the instant it was out of my mouth. I knew it, and so did my brothers. It was Dominic who told me to go and kiss your ass until you forgave me and took me back, you know?”
The brother I physically whacked?
I blinked. “Dominic? Really?”
Ryder nodded. “You impressed him tonight, and not many people do that often.”
That pleased me because I wanted Ryder’s brothers to accept me, but I didn’t want him to know that so I shrugged it off like it meant nothing to me.
“I impressed ‘im by punchin’ ‘im in the face?”
Ryder grinned. “Yes.”
“You’re all so weird.”
“Trust me,” Ryder chuckled. “I know.”
I thought about my sister and said, “She’ll really be okay?”
Ryder nodded. “He’ll tuck her into bed and they’ll go to sleep, I’d put my life on it. Dominic would never hurt a woman. He’d never hurt anyone unless he had no choice. He isn’t a bad person, Branna, he just has to do bad things.”
Has to? That wording worried me.
“Tell me what you mean about him,” I pressed. “So he likes me sister, big deal, millions of people like other people and—”
“She is the first person he has ever taken a liking to.” Ryder cut me off.
I blinked. “How can that be possible? He is gorgeous. Surely out of all the girls throwin’ themselves at ‘im one would have ignited these feelin’s within ‘im.”
Ryder shook his head. “Dominic is focused, and he believes women are a… distraction. To a point, he is right. He fights, and he cannot afford a distraction when he fights, so he distances himself from women until he… needs one.”
Disgust must have shown on my face, because Ryder sighed and rubbed his face with both hands.
“He has sex with women, lots of women, and don’t let his age fool you. He has fucked women older than you.”
I swallowed. “That’s disgustin’, he is only a baby!”
“It is what it is,” said Ryder with a shrug of his shoulders. “When he wants to have sex, he finds a willing woman, and he has sex, but that’s the extent of things.”
“So what’s his deal with me sister then?” I questioned. “She isn’t willin’. She doesn’t even like ‘im so I know she won’t have sex with ‘im.”
Ryder snapped his fingers at me. “That’s exactly it. He took an instant attraction to her, and she instantly shut him down. That’s never happened before. I don’t mean to sound conceited, but me and my brothers, it’s never been a task to hook up with someone we set our sights on.”
I grunted. “Yeah, you’re all genetically blessed, I get it.”
Ryder’s lips quirked. “You think we’re genetically blessed?”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re all gorgeous, and you all bloody well know it.”
Ryder had the decency to slightly blush. “Yeah, well, genetics didn’t help Dominic with your sister.”
I shrugged. “From what she has told me, he is an arsehole. Why would she want to hook up with an arsehole?”
“You’d be surprised how many women dig the asshole vibe, most think they can be the ones to finally straighten out the bad boy.”
I frowned. “That’s not me or Bronagh. If you’re an arsehole, then that’s it. No matter how good lookin’ you are, nothin’ will shine brighter than your dickhead personality.”
“It’s why Dominic is struggling with Bronagh. He is demanding by nature, so when he orders her about, or his hard on her, she comes out swinging and he has no fucking clue how to deal with a female like that. It’s why he screws up so much with her, he just doesn’t know what to do when sex isn’t involved.”
I frowned. “That’s kind of sad, Ryder.”
He nodded. “I know it is, but it is…”
“What it is,” I finished.
His lips twitched and he took a step towards me. “You don’t think I’m an asshole, do you?”
My own lips twitched in reply. “The jury is still out on that one.”
Another step.
“Branna,” he murmured, his eyes locked on mine.
I locked my knees together to avoid them buckling from under me and quickly lifted my hand and held is out in front of me. “Stop lookin’ at me like that, we aren’t finished talkin’.”
His hands went to his belt buckle, and so did my eyes.
“Aren’t we?” he asked as he popped the buckle.
The sound sent a shiver up my spine and—No, Branna, be strong!
I cleared my throat and lifted my eyes back to Ryder and narrowed them. “No, we aren’t.”
Ryder sighed when he saw I wasn’t backing down. He let go of his now undone belt and placed his hands on his hips. “Okay, talking it is,” he said. “What else do you want to talk about?”
“You said before that all of Dominic’s behaviour isn’t his fault, you said it was your upbringin’. I want to know what you meant by that.”
Ryder set his jaw so I pointed my index finger at him. “This isn’t up for debate, I want to know exactly what you meant by that or I’m leavin’.”
“Don’t threaten me,” Ryder said, his voice low.
Shit.
“I’m not threatenin’ you, I’m promisin’ you. Talk or I walk.”
Ryder stared at me for a long moment, and I knew he was thinking about whether I was worth telling the information that he was purposely trying to keep private. That told me it was a secret, a very important secret.
“Last chance, Ryder,” I warned. “Talk, or I’m gettin’ me sister and neither you or your brother will have anythin’ to do with us ever again.”
He curled his lips up in frustration. “I’m trying to think of a way to explain it to you without scaring you.”
I blinked. “Why would it scare me?”
“Because,” he began, “my life is a world away from yours. You have no idea the things I’ve done, or that I’m still doing.”
I took a hesitant step back and it made Ryder grin.
“Does it scare you to know I’m not straight laced like you think I am?”
What the hell did that mean?
My heart began to beat faster as I recalled the many conversations we’ve had about his job. I never got any information when I asked questions about it, Ryder would seduce me and all would be forgotten.
“You don’t scare me, Ryder,” I replied honestly.
An emotion flashed across his eyes, and his shoulders sagged, his tough demeanour vanishing.
“I know, sweetness, and that’s why I want to word what I have to say correctly. You’re very important to me, and I don’t want you to be scared of me. Not ever.”
I tilted my head to the side. “So ease me into it.”
He snorted. “This isn’t a conversation you can ease someone into, all of it is… heavy.”
I sat down on his bed, and patted the empty spot next to me.
“I’ve got all night.”
Ryder came to my side and settled down on the bed next to me. He reached over and took my hands in his. “Before I say anything, please know that I don’t want to do what I do, I just have no choice.”
I didn’t like the sound of that, but I nodded in understanding.
“Back in New York, my brothers and I, we were raised on a compound run by gangsters.”
I was waiting for a laugh, or a ‘gotcha’ to follow that bizarre statement, but nothing followed.
I blinked. “Wow.”
Ryder gauged my reaction for some indication of what I was thinking, but I knew he would draw a blank because I didn’t even know what I was thinking.