I shook my head, struck dumb.
“You’re ready, Kait. You’re ready. Everything that was in your way is gone. You’re free, just like you always wanted. We can have a life together. We can be together. Do everything you want. Go to London, go to university. Have a life!”
I wanted to vomit, wanted to scream. He was so excited. I wanted it.
“And Carly?”
“She’s not what you thought, Kaitie. She’s weak, but she’s also selfish.” He broke off, sighing. “I don’t want to hurt you, but you have to know what she did.”
“Tell me the truth.” I couldn’t believe him.
“Last year Naida taught a few minor things to Carly—Mala things.”
I knew this was true. Naida herself had told me. I nodded.
“She entered into a pact that she thought would bring you both freedom. I could see it the second I met you. You had a debt on you. I could see it, almost like a curse. It’s hard to explain. I didn’t know anything about you, but I was intrigued. It was clear, the more I got to know you, that you didn’t believe in anything like that. But Carly… I spoke to her too. I got to know her. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I knew you wouldn’t understand. Not yet. But when I asked her questions… asked about Mala and about Grúndi… she talked about freedom—for both of you. She talked about wanting a life, about worrying for you. She was an open book until I asked her what she had done. She got uncomfortable. Stopped talking to me. Avoided me. I knew she had tampered with something outside of her control. But you don’t make deals with It. You simply pay up.”
“Carly wouldn’t… couldn’t. She wouldn’t know how. I don’t know how.”
“Oh, come on, Kait! Google will tell you how to do just about any kind of black magic you can think of. She was desperate. She was hurting you.”
Who was I speaking to? This wasn’t the Ari I knew. This wasn’t the Ari I fell so hard for. I was looking at a stranger.
“Naida opened the door to Mala, and she abused it.”
I didn’t understand. “When did this happen? Last year? During the summer? At the beginning of the year?”
“I don’t know that, Kaitie. Before I came along. Before the chapel, for sure. You were already cursed when I met you.”
“I don’t…” I could feel myself getting dizzy.
“The power inside you… you’ve felt it… she put that there. She had no idea what she was doing.”
“The Olen,” I said. “You infected me with it.”
“No, I didn’t. It was Carly who opened the door. And it’s not an Olen.” For the first time, he looked worried. “It’s a demon.”
I stumbled backwards. His words floored me. That sleeping thing inside the Dead House—inside me—was a demon. A real demon. A demonic entity. Had I known this before I heard Ari tell me?
“I control it,” Ari said quickly, as if reading my fears. “I can control it for you. I know how. You don’t have to worry about it, okay? I’m going to contain it. I’m going to keep you safe.”
And he was a fool, and he was wrong, so wrong. He controlled nothing. Nothing, and he didn’t know what he was doing. And I loved him.
It was all so much, I felt the world closing in around me, a big dark veil. But somehow I saw clearly too.
“And Juliet? Where is she? Did you kill her?”
I couldn’t believe I was asking my Ari that question. Did. You. Kill. Someone. This wasn’t Ari. This had to be a dream—a nightmare. I wanted it to stop. I wanted him to stop. Stop playing tricks on me, be Ari again.
He flinched. “Please, just leave it alone. Let it be. Let me contain the thing inside you now, so we can be together. Finally free together. Don’t ask me questions. I can’t… I can’t lie to you anymore.”
And I saw that this was Ari. How could I have missed it? This thing in his eyes? This rage in his words? How did I not see?
I persisted. “Ari, did you kill Juliet?”
“No. I didn’t kill Juliet.” He released a breath that was trying to contain some deep emotion. “You did.”
It was like the air in my lungs had suddenly become lead. Plumbum. “No,” I choked out. “No.”
He had every reason to lie, didn’t he, Dee?
Liar, liar, liar.
I plugged my ears; could still hear him.
“It was the thing inside you. It wasn’t you. That’s why I have to bind it. Soon.”
Innnnn… sssssiiiidddde… yyyouuuuu…
I could hear the snake.
“You’re overthinking it. Just stop trying to get all the answers. They’ll hurt you, Kaitie. Just… just let me take you away from here. Let’s just go away. Together.”
I started to cry. “How could you do this to me?”
He thought I meant Carly. “I know,” he said, taking me into his arms, kissing the top of my head. “I’m angry with her too. But she’s gone now.”
I don’t know anymore. I didn’t know! I don’t and didn’t know anything! I was in a room of mirrors, each one bent and distorted, none of them true, but all of them accurate, and all of them laughing glassy laughs that screamed and shattered all around me.
I pushed away from him. “And Brett? Did the thing inside me kill him too?”
He shook his head. “Please leave it alone, Kaitie.”
“Tell me. Right now, tell me.”
“Brett wasn’t a good guy. Did you know he attacked Carly? And then he zeroes in on you like you’re some kind of target? Always around you. Always with you. And then that kiss…” He made a guttural sound deep in his throat. “It sickened me.”
I sobbed. “You killed Brett.”
“You need to be free from the people who are hurting you, Kaitie.”
“And Haji? My God, Ari. Did he even go home?”
Ari’s voice was very quiet. “He was going to put her back.”
I just sobbed. I sobbed and sobbed because he loved me so much but he was so sick, and I loved him, so much it was tearing me apart inside, and I had to go. I had to get out of there and away from him before I threw myself into his arms and forgave him.
I turned and ran, as fast as I could, and in my head I kept hearing the snake that was the demon inside me, inside the Dead House, calling me Killer Killer Killer. I heard them painted on the walls, saw them dripping blood there.
I
Killed
I
Killed
I
Killed
Juliet. And. John. And. I Was Happy That My Mother. My Father. Were Both. Dead. Too.
A page of the journal has been torn out.
it’s okay, dee. it’s quiet.
you can come out now.
he will never hurt you again.
106
On 1 February 2005, Kaitlyn paid a visit to Naida in the hospital, but precisely what was said can never be known for certain. A nurse—Sister Winnie Sholto of Musgrove Park Hospital—gave a statement to the police. It has been copied below.
Witness Statement, Winnewa Sholto, Sister at Musgrove Park
Hospital, Attar Wing
Interviewer: Please state your name for the record.
WS: Winnie Sholto.
Interviewer: Please tell me, in as much detail as you can, what you saw.
WS: Eh… girl come into the hospital to visit the patient in room 204. She was so small, so sick-looking. She stayed for maybe ten minute, I don’t hear them talking, only the girl holding the patient’s hand. I go do my round, come back; the girl and patient they hugging and crying. I wanted to go in to see if everything was okay, but seem like nice moment and patient didn’t ring bell, so I go. Girl leave room, and patient did not ring the bell, she standing by window holding IV pole, so I go on my round again. Have cup of tea with girls and then back to the ward. When I get back, patient still standing at window, not moving. I don’t know what is wrong, but she doesn’t want to get into bed. She stand at window all night long during shift. When I go off shift, she sitting in chair, still by the window.