I arched toward him, letting him tear my clothes off over my head before he fell upon me. "Yes," I urged him as he lay down a trail of biting kisses from my left collarbone up the swell of my breast. I knew he was going to leave marks on me, but somehow I didn't care. I wanted it to be real and I wanted it to hurt a little. I wanted the sting left on my skin when I walked away from this with the knowledge that it had actually happened.

Jax was murmuring into my skin, a string of filthy curse words jumbled together with the promises of what was coming next. "…so goddamn beautiful, you know that?" His tongue curled around my nipple, dragging his teeth lightly against the sensitive skin. "…you better fucking know that. You better, unh, admire this body in the mirror every fucking day." I arched again, feeling the fire collecting in my lower spine. "…fuck yeah, that's right, I want to hear you…" I bit my lip. "…don't you fucking hold back on me. Tell me. Tell me how good this feels. "

He raked his hands down my belly and deftly undid my jeans. When his palm cupped over the mound between my legs, a gasp tore from my throat. "…again, Lily. Holy fuck, I wish you could see your face right now. I'd take a fucking picture but I don't think I could risk anyone ever seeing you like this except me. I'm not fucking sharing this. I'm gonna taste you now, you ready? I want you to come all over my face. I want to feel you go wild around my fingers before I fuck you senseless. Does that sound good to my Bit?"

All the while he was talking he had been alternately pressing and rubbing with the heel of his hand. He hadn't even taken off my panties yet, but I could already feel it gathering. The slow heat pulled down all of my limbs until I was nothing but a nervous system intent on the sensation. "More, Jax," I told him. I wanted to sound sexy but instead I sounded pleading. "Give me more."

"Holy shit, do you hear how amazing you sound?" He yanked down my panties before I could answer him, not that I could once his mouth was on me. "I want you to…" His words dissolved into muffled grunts, little mmms of ecstasy as he took my clit gently between his lips and began to suck. When his thick finger slipped inside of me, I felt myself clutch it desperately. Alternating between licks and thrusts, he dragged me closer and closer to the edge of sanity. I reached out, desperate for something to hold onto, to keep me from falling, falling so hard into the abyss.

I found the edge of the table just as the world split open. From low in my belly, the aching ball rolled upwards and outwards, so slow it took over everything until it suddenly cracked open. "Fuck!" I screamed as I shook so hard the table rattled underneath me, not even caring if anyone heard, if anyone saw, if anyone knew how crazy it was for me to believe this meant nothing at all.

Because from the very edge of my sight I could see him watching me. His whole focus was on me, his lips parted, his eyes wide. "Goddamn it, Bit, you were holding out on me before."

"No I wasn't," I protested weakly.

"Yeah. You were." He grinned, his lips shining wetly, covered in me. "And now that I knew what the real thing looks like…" His voice trailed off again as he stood up and lifted his shirt over his head.

…it doesn't have mean anything…

The harder I tried to hold onto that thought, the more slippery it became. I fumbled for it, trying like hell to remember that this was nothing more than a last fling before the wedding, but when Jax’s mouth covered mine again, all of my thoughts abandoned me, including that one. Instead thoughts of him invaded my brain; how he felt under my hands, his skin so warm it was almost scalding. How his heart raced under my fingertips as I kissed a trail down the center of his chest. How both our hands went to his belt buckle, and he swatted mine away with an impatient grunt. How I tried to take him into my mouth once he was freed from his boxers, but he caught my face in his hands and kissed me again and there were suddenly no barriers between us. I pressed against him, needing to feel every inch of my skin covered in his.

"I'm clean," he murmured into my mouth. "I can show you the papers, but I'm promising you right now, I'm clean. I got tested the minute I heard you were coming home."

I laughed against his lips. “You just assumed you'd be fucking me? Oh my God, you are so fucking cocky."

He pressed his forehead against mine so that the blue of his eyes was the color of the entire world. "You got that right, babe."

"Jesus, Jax. Just fuck me. Now."

He pressed my thighs open with his hands, positioning me underneath him. I lifted my head and watched where we came together. He was so long, so impossibly hard. My arms gave out as he buried himself inside of me and he caught me up, threading his arms around me so I was cradled against them.

And then he just… stayed there.

"Jax?" I wiggled, wrapped my legs around him and tried to draw him upward, but it was like tugging at a rock.

"You wanted it wild, Bit?"

"Yes!" I panted.

"I'm gonna give it to you wild, greedy girl. But this?" He snaked a hand up my chest to cup my cheek. "This is for me."

He held my gaze for a moment. …doesn't have to mean… I couldn't finish the thought. Not when he was looking at me that way, like I was the only thing he wanted was to see me there, connected to him this way. And when he had had his fill, he began to move.

It was slow, at first. He slid his hands under my hips and lifted me so that nothing could distract from the wet slide of him. Out and in, the only sound our ragged, gasping breaths. He pulled almost all the way out again and looked down at me.

"Yes," he whispered.

And then I got what I wanted.

The wild, pounding urgency exploded from his hips. He gripped me so tightly I squeaked from the pain. He was fast, and urgent, his speech devolving into desperate, delicious growls. I wrapped my hand around his back and he fell forward, rolling his hips with each thrust, faster and faster now.

"You feel so good," he gasped against my breast. "I'm can't… I'm not going to last long. Come for me, Lil. I want to feel you all around me." He reached between my legs and pressed his thumb to my clit, timing his strokes with the rhythm of his hips. "Now, baby. Get there…"

Chapter Twenty-Two

Jax

Heaven is my Lily falling to pieces underneath me.

The relief that flooded my body was almost as intense as the pleasure. She had heard me. She said my words back to me and I knew, I knew I was forgiven.

"You are so fucking cocky." "You got it right, babe." Those were the words that we said that morning she found me sprawled between two blondes much too old for me, drunk off my ass on whiskey and my own narcissism. Those words echoed in my head for so long that I had to write them down in the song I wrote for her.

I was waiting for her to say something, anything about what it meant to her, how she felt about the song. It wasn't like Lily to beat around the bush like this. But when she teased me with them, I knew she had finally heard me. She heard my sung apology and now things were the way they should be with us…

With her wide-open eyes fixed on my face as I watched her shatter beneath me.

I saw everything. There was no way I wasn't going to remember this for-fucking-ever. The way her eyes went wide at the last minute before she suddenly squeezed them shut, like it was all too much for her to take. I wished I could go deeper, somehow. I wanted to give her more, more than I had to give, but she fucking deserved everything I had and then some. So I pressed her, harder, higher, to the very limits of my endurance and my reward was her tiny body clinging to mine and her perfect lips gasping my name over and over again. I felt my own orgasm barrel down on me, white-hot and searing, but I didn't want it to end. I kept moving like a man possessed.