“Just a granola bar and ear phones, please.” I rubbed at my eyes and leaned back again. “We’ll talk when we get there, Mom. I need some sleep. I’m raising a baby, remember?”

She lifted her chin. “I’m aware. It’s your chance to get back into God’s good graces and perhaps even see Alice again.”

“That’s nice, Mom.”

“Give me a few minutes and I’ll let you rest.”

I glanced over at her and lifted an eyebrow. “Fine. What is it?”

“You know your father is joining us with Jessica.” Her scowl left me with no doubt about how she felt about it. Jessica was fifteen years younger than Mom and Dad, and had a sense of adventure about her that made even me excited to hang out with her. She was alive and passionate... much like Kendra.

“Yep. It will be fine. This is for Alice anyway.” I shrugged.

“Speaking of. How is Tyson?”

“He’s good. Better.” I let out a long sigh. “It would have been awesome had you told me that I had to burp him after he drank his milk.”

“He’s a baby, Jax. Of course he needs to burp.” She laughed, her tone and gestures making me feel like a total ass. Had Kendra thought I was an idiot over not knowing that I had to burp the little guy too? No. She simply showed me how to do it and then joined in the celebration when Tyson burped.

“Anyways,” I turned my attention from her, “I got a great nanny for him. She’s young and beautiful, sweet and loves the baby already.”

“Well, don’t get attached to her, Jax. We’ve had this discussion before. Don’t worry, we’ll find the perfect bride for you within our class.”

“Class?” I glanced over. “What the hell does that even mean?”

Her mouth tightened. “Watch your language. It means that you’re not going to dive down the social ladder because you’ve yet to find the right girl. There are far too many women who will want you for your money, but a rich woman will not. You’ll be equals. That’s healthier.”

“Thanks, Mom. I’ll take that into consideration.” Funny how my mother’s dating opinion was the clear opposite of Alice’s. My sister had been happily married and Mom was miserable.

“Another thing to think about too, son, and I hate to bring it up, but you’re really not marketable now. I mean, I’m so proud of you for taking Tyson, and I’m sure you’re doing a great job, but honestly... no woman will want a single man your age who already has a son.”

“Godson.” I jerked up as anger burned in my belly. The boy was a permanent fixture in my life no matter what. And thanks to my mother refusing to help, I was alone in that.

Thank God for Kendra.

“You know what I mean. Don’t get pissy because it’s true. Few women are willing to marry a middle-aged man with children. I’m just saying that you should start looking now while you’re still relatively handsome.” She took another drink of her wine as I stared at her in shock.

I wanted to blast her with ‘this is exactly why Dad divorced you,’ but I didn’t. I went a different route, nothing too harsh and yet enough to upset her nonetheless.

“I’m not middle-aged, mother. And if that’s the case, I’ll just have to stoop down to another level and marry a horribly trashy middle-class girl. I mean if that’s what it takes to have someone pretend to love me... so be it.”

“Jax. That’s not funny. I’d not let you go that low.”

The attendant stopped beside me and offered the granola bar and the headphones, the look on the guys face almost apologetic.

I lifted my items to my mom and winked. “Night, Mom. Great pep talk. I feel kick-ass about my willingness to help out my dead sister and her son. Nothing like fucking up your already dicked up life. Awesome.”

She stared at me in horror and I couldn’t help but smile back like I was fourteen years old again. Bitch. She always left me feeling like the piece of shit I pretended not to be.

I pulled on my headphones and shoved the whole damn granola bar in my mouth, knowing it would drive her mad. My heart raced in my chest at her words, the threat of being alone forever having to be my greatest fear. Namely because it was happening to her.

The music pumped from my phone into my headphones and eventually afforded me some calm. She didn’t know me or my desires. I didn’t want to get married. I’d seen close up what it would do to someone, and I wasn’t interested.

However, knowing that I wasn’t on the market because of Tyson led me down a dark path. Now, I resented women even more than I had before the flight.

My thoughts moved to Kendra, my latest obsession. Her demeanor was sweet as she kept the conversation the night before open and honest with me. She wanted a friendship at least from what I could tell. Her reaction after our kiss left me questioning if she wanted more. She had pressed tightly against me during the kiss, her sweet tongue lapping at mine as she opened herself up to me. It was so hard to pull back. I could have sunk to my knees and licked every part of her.

I shifted uncomfortably and crossed my legs before placing my hands over my erection and ignoring everything around me.

Her little nightie had to be the hottest fucking thing I had ever seen. That she was wearing it told me she slept naked. She needed something quick to throw on to run to the bathroom. The sheer material showed me perfectly how divine she was. The sexy slope of her hip, thin waist and her big, heavy tits.

I stifled a groan and tried to force my thoughts  back to the music, but I couldn’t. If only she had crawled up beside me on the bed when I’d invited her to. I would still have her taste on my tongue, the scent of her on my fingers, her release all over the rest of me.

Fuck. I didn’t just want her like I’d never wanted another. I needed her.

How in the world would she ever need a bastard like me?

My own mother couldn’t see my worth.

Kendra wouldn’t either.

8 - Kendra

Two days later

Jax called several times a day, though most of the time I couldn’t understand him. The connection was horrible, but seeing where he was, it was understandable. The sadness in his voice tugged at my heart and more than anything I wanted to be there with him.

We’re barely friends, and yet I felt a connection to him that didn’t make sense. I needed to be careful to determine if it was just the burning heat of lust, or if something else had started to grow within me. I hadn’t been on a date in two years and wasn’t entirely sure I’d ever really been in romantic love.

Relationship and sex... yes, but short term and shallow was the resulting effect of all of them. This was different. Maybe it was a growing friendship that was building around our desire to test the waters physically. Either way, he was pulling back and I had closed the door as best I could. It was safer for all of us that way.

I packed up a bag for Tyson around lunchtime on Wednesday, and we took the Mercedes to the cafe down the street to meet Brian. I had my first paycheck as Jax wanted to start paying me on Tuesdays. With everything taken care of, my first check would simply go to Brian to pay him back.

The thrill of excitement rushed through me as we pulled up and parked. I got Tyson out and fixed his carrier into his stroller before working my long hair into a messy bun. My jeans and t-shirt left me looking like I should be riding on the subway, not driving a luxurious sedan. I obviously had a sugar daddy, which wasn’t too far from the truth.

“Hey you.” Brian stood as I walked into the cafe, a tall guy holding the door for me.

I thanked him and moved toward Brian for a quick hug. “Hey. Whew. I need to go to the gym. This pulling a baby in and out of the car is a big job.”

I sat down and he sat across from me before pulling the front of the stroller toward him and smiling.