Ev gasps and reaches for me, covers my hands with hers. Now she knows everything about those dark years of my life and doesn’t have to ask who Nick Harris is.

“When? What happened?”

“That’s the thing. I didn’t just run into him.” My hands shake underneath hers. “He followed me. Ran after me, shouting my name.” I swallow hard. “I hid inside a store until he left. Why would he do that?”

“I don’t know, girl. Makes no sense to me.”

Me neither. “He was outside my building, waiting for me to come out. He knows where I live, Ev.”

“Crap. Should we tell the police?” She bites her lower lip, deep in thought. “Hey, wasn’t he at the wedding reception?”

“You saw him, too? I thought I was going crazy.” Shit.

“I will ask Audrey. I see her often, because we have moved close to her.”

“Okay.” My heart is beating uncomfortably fast.

“Maybe he just wants to talk to you,” Ev says, pulling her hands away when a waitress approaches.

“What would he have to say to me?”

She shrugs, then rattles off our order and leans back. “I don’t know. But what would he do if he caught you in the middle of the street?”

Honestly, no clue. I just can’t let him catch me. As it’s become my habit in the last two weeks, I rub the band at my wrist. It smells of leather and faintly, of Jesse.

“What are you doing?” Ev snickers. “Are you sniffing your bracelet?”

I lower my hand hurriedly. “And if I am?”

“Is that…?” She falls silent when our food arrives, then leans forward again. “Is that Jesse’s?” She gives a small, sad smile. “I do that with Micah’s stuff. I’d roll in his scent all night and day if I could.”

My lips tremble, and I press them together. “And if it is Jesse’s? Will you tell me again how stupid I was to fall for him? I know, okay?”

“Oh, girlfriend.” Ev’s eyes look wet, and I don’t know why. “I’m sorry. What if I was wrong for telling you not to trust him?”

“Wrong? You saw what he did.”

“I saw what everyone saw. But what if he’s telling the truth? What if she came on to him and he was only trying to push her away?”

Innocent until proven guilty?

“Now you’re on his side?”

“He’s been telling everyone he didn’t kiss her. Dammit, I love Cassie. She’s my friend, but this time…” A tear rolls down Ev’s cheek. “She’s lusted after Jesse for a long time. She thinks they are alike. That for them both sex is meaningless. She may have pushed her luck with him at the reception.”

A breath is locked in my lungs. Could it be?

“The guys say he hasn’t gone out once since the wedding,” Ev goes on, “that he hasn’t been seen with a single chick. That he looks devastated. That he isn’t acting like himself.”

The thought of Jesse devastated makes my stomach twist.

What if he is telling the truth?

The guy who gave me his one prized possession, who told me he wanted to be with me. What if I’m the one who’s in the wrong?

But what if I’m not? After putting my heart through the ringer once for him, how can I risk it again? I’m still bleeding inside.

I think for the thousandth time about the lion pendant. I really am going to go over to his apartment and give it to him. See him. Let him explain what happened once more.

But how can I be objective about this when I’m face to face with him? My brain stops when I’m near him, when I see his eyes, hear his voice—which is why I’ve been avoiding him. Even hearing the voice messages he’d been leaving me threatens my resolve, so I’ve begun deleting them without hearing them.

But he hasn’t gone out. Hasn’t been with another girl.

My head spinning, I poke at my burger and onion rings, then end up drinking my soda and ignoring the rest. Ev, on the contrary, has been scarfing down everything so fast I’m afraid she’ll choke.

“Hey, slow down. Doesn’t Micah give you enough to eat?” I steal one of her onion rings—because hers look so much better than mine, of course—and deftly snatch my hand back before she slaps at it. “Must be the workout he puts you through every night, I guess.”

She scowls at me.

“Seriously…” I swallow hard. “May I ask you for a favor?”

She chews on a bite of her burger, her golden eyes narrowing. “You want Micah’s diet plan?”

“Not likely. After seeing how hungry he lets you go…” I put down my soda. “No, I’d like you to check a name through the system.”

“The system?”

“Yeah, the social system. Can you do that?”

“What do you think I am, FBI?” But she’s laughing. “I could try, I guess. Ask Audrey’s mother if she could do some digging for me. What name would that be?”

“Helen.” I lick my suddenly dry lips. “Helen McRoy.”

What am I doing?

“Helen McRoy. Anything else you can tell me about her?”

“She was here in Madison, living on the streets, maybe four or five years ago. Then she left and her tracks vanished. I want to know… if she’s dead. What happened to her.”

Ev puts down her half-eaten burger. “Okay. Is it someone you used to know? Does it have to do with Nick?”

“No. Nothing to do with Nick, and I didn’t know her. But she was important to someone.”

Someone I care about. Someone who asked me to trust him.

And no matter how scared that makes me, I think I want to try.

***

I spend the rest of my day making jewelry and preparing packages for the orders I received. Dizzily I move about the house—telling myself it’s because of the orders that keep rolling in, but knowing deep inside that it’s because of finally deciding to trust Jesse.

As soon as I made up my mind, all the things he told me, the things he did—the things I tried to forget in my anger—return, and I dance around the apartment, glad Kayla isn’t there to see me. She’s gone out to meet with some friends, leaving me alone.

Which is a good thing, because when the doorbell rings and a package is placed in my hands, with a request to sign in order to receive it, I’m in a complete daze.

I sign, close the door and I wander back into the living room where I drop onto the sofa. I zero in on the small card immediately.

“I miss you, Embers.”

The words on the small card blur in my eyes. Oh JJ. I miss you, too.

Turns out I didn’t need to hear his voice or see his face for my resolve to crumble. The memory of him was enough.

I open the box and smile when I see the chocolates. Roses or chocolates, he’d said, or whatever you like.

Heart thumping, I consider calling him right now. I even pick up my cell phone from the table, but no. I need to do this in person, looking into his eyes.

Tonight. It’s his day off, and yeah, funny how I know by heart which are his afternoons and days off, how I’ve stored them in my brain as vital information. I’ll pass by tonight to talk with him and give him the pendant.

Meanwhile, lots of little packages are ready to be mailed, so I leave the chocolates on my bed, grab everything and head out.

My heart is light for the first time since the wedding. Or maybe since ever. Shedding the doubt and anger was a conscious decision. Choosing to love Jesse wasn’t, but it’s all coming together.

I’ve lived the past few years in a bubble, taking no risks, making no moves. Now I’m treading deep water. Taking the plunge was the hardest part. I need to keep swimming and trust in my instinct. In my feelings.

In him.

As I push the door closed with my hip, loaded with two plastic bags full of my packaged jewelry, my cell rings. My thoughts on Jesse, I drop the bags and whip out the cell.

“Yeah?” Breathless, I sit on the top step of the stairs.

“Amber? Is everything okay, were you running?”

I snort. “Ev. No, I wasn’t. I’m heading to the post office.”

“I’ve got some news for you. About Nick Harris.”

Frowning, I change the cell to my other ear. “What did you find out?”