“Embers!” I put in another burst of speed. Can’t let her leave believing I cheated on her. Can’t let her go. “Wait!”

But the cab speeds off, leaving me in its dust. I race after it for a few yards, waving my arms like an idiot and calling for her.

No use.

Dammit.

She’s gone.

I slow to a halt on the street, brace my hands on my knees and struggle to catch my breath. A can honks behind me, and I stumble sideways, climbing onto the sidewalk.

Can’t believe this happened. Can’t believe she wouldn’t even stay to talk to me, hear me out. I thought…

You thought she was different. That she’d treat you like someone worth hanging on to. Instead she turned her back at the first sign of trouble, just like everyone else in your life. Didn’t wait two seconds to hear you out, give you the chance to explain yourself.

And the kicker is that you still want her and hope she’ll take you back.

***

Seth finds me drinking whiskey by the pool some time later, sitting in a bamboo chair. I’m staring at my cell phone, at the lack of response after the tenth text I’ve sent her, when his shadow falls over me.

He pries the glass from my fingers and sits down on the chair across from me. He lifts it, swallows the rest of my whiskey down and grimaces. “So what the fuck happened here, man?”

I put down the damn cell and rub a hand over my face, then reach for the leather band around my wrist.

It’s not there. I panic for a second before I remember giving it to her.

All right, then.

The music isn’t as loud as before, and a glance around tells me most people have left. Who knows for how long I’ve been sitting here.

Fuck. I get up on unsteady legs, intent on catching a cab to her place and knocking on her door until she lets me in, lets me explain.

Fight for your girl, Zane had said.

The world tilts, and I sink back down. Whoa. I blink, waiting for the dizzy spell to pass.

Seth hasn’t moved from his sprawl on the seat, not even when I weaved on my feet. Asshole.

“So how much have you drunk?” He lifts the whiskey bottle from its spot by my seat. He shakes it. It’s almost empty. “Tell me this wasn’t full when you started on it.”

“It wasn’t.” Least, I don’t think it was. Not completely.

“Good, because if you swallowed that much whiskey in half an hour, I’d be calling the fucking ambulance right now.”

Fuck. I thought I’d been sitting here for five minutes only. I needed to catch my breath and I hoped she’d answer the phone, or my texts.

“I’m okay. I need to go, I’m…” I shake my head, frown at him. “Hey, just a sec. How come you’re not flaming pissed?”

His brows lift. “I don’t look pissed to you?”

Well. He’s got a point, and yet… “Not enough. Not if you like Cassie that way.”

“I don’t.”

Back up. I didn’t quite catch that. “The fuck you don’t.”

“She’s okay, I guess. No, Shane is the one who likes her.” He pours the remnants of the whiskey into my glass—my glass, motherfucker—and swallows it down in one gulp. “I’m pissed on his behalf, not mine. Which is why I haven’t punched your pretty face in.”

Hell. “But the other night, outside Halo, you said—”

“That she’s a nice girl.” He shrugs. “I need to believe it, for Shane. Guy’s head over heels.”

“But you saw what she did.” I feel cold, and I wonder if I’m coming down with something, or if it’s all the whiskey I drank. “That’s so fucked up.”

“She just came on to you?” He cocks his head at me, eyes narrowing.

“Yes!”

“Why didn’t you push her away?”

I gape at him. “Shit, you don’t believe me.”

“Just saying, man. She’s a girl, and you’re a strong guy. She can’t have forced you.”

I get up again, dizziness be damned. I jab a finger at Seth. “You saw her at Halo the other night. And for your information, motherfucker, I pushed her, but she wouldn’t let go. Ask anyone who was around. Fuck.”

Seth grabs my forearm and drags me back down. Balance shot, I topple backward, almost missing the chair.

“The hell?”

“I believe you.” Low. Quiet. “So just sit tight and don’t go drowning in the pool or anything, all right? You’re right, I saw her at the bar the other night. She has a crush on you.”

I shrug angrily. Not my fault, is it? “I have to go find Amber.”

Because she saw it. She fucking saw it. And now she’s not here, and I feel…half. Incomplete.

“I’ll go with you, then.” He gets to his feet and gives me a hand up. “Let’s go.”

Gratefulness fills me. “Thanks, man. Appreciate it.” And not just the fact he’s coming with me, but the fact he believes me.

“So,” I say as he guides me along the pool with a hand on my shoulder, without which I’d have probably stumbled into the lit water already, “you’re not into chicks, or am I missing something?”

He chokes on laughter. “Fuck’s sake, J. Who says I don’t like chicks?” He sobers as we walk past a cluster of people dancing to a ballad. The bride and groom are at the center, wrapped around each other, and anger flares again inside me.

Embers…

“That one.” Seth is pointing at someone, and when I focus enough to look, I see Cassie, her back turned to me, talking to some people.

“Fuck her.” I jerk away from him and start toward her, heat rushing up my neck, my hands fisting. “I’ll punch the bitch. I don’t give a flying fuck that she’s a girl.”

“J, no.” Seth’s hand closes around my bicep like a vise of steel, holding me back. “Not her, idiot. The brunette. Her friend. That’s the one I want.”

Seeing through the red haze of anger takes some effort. I finally notice the brunette. She’s pretty, with large, dark eyes, shiny long hair and a tight, tall body, like a dancer.

“That Cassie’s friend? Maud, or something like that?”

“Manon. Madeline Torres.”

He sounds breathless. Jesus.

Oh yeah, the boy’s got it bad for this particular girl.

“I take it all back,” I mutter as he drags me away and out of the garden. “You really are into chicks. But honestly, why the fuck did you have to pick Cassie’s friend of all people?”

***

I’ve been buzzing Amber’s door for what feels like hours, but no reply. I try again calling her on the cell phone.

Nothing. Nada.

The call goes to voicemail. She’s switched her phone off.

Seth is smoking beside me, the embers of his cigarette glowing in the night.

“Open up!” I slam my fist on the building door and relish the jarring pain shooting up my arm.

“Easy, guy.” Seth throws his smoke down, steps on it and grabs my arm. “Let’s go.”

“Fuck you. Lemme go. I have to talk to her.”

“She’s upset right now, man. Give her time.”

“Time will only make this worse.” I know it. I can feel it in my bones. Have to clear this up before it festers. “Go, I’ll be fine.”

“The hell you will.” He tugs. “Come on, J.”

“Get your hands off me.” I shake him off and press the buzzer button again. “Why won’t she talk to me? I didn’t do anything.”

“We talked about this. Your reputation—”

“Fuck my reputation. I’m a person. I’m not my past.” Not sure I’m making sense. I’m gonna break something, and if it’s not this door, it will be a bone in my body. I bang on her door and yell her name.

I only want… Want her to keep me, dammit. To give me the benefit of a doubt. Don’t I deserve even that much?

“J, dammit. Come on, before someone calls the police.” He tears me away from the building entrance and hauls me down the street, glancing over his shoulder all the way. His grip is cutting off the circulation in my arm, and the pain is welcome, though not enough to take my mind off this mess.

My fault. It’s all because of my fucking reputation, my fucking past and my need to drown it all in sex, sex I was in control of, until I met Amber.