Her eyes dart between us as she bites her lip, trying to hold back a smile. I wish she wouldn’t. I’d give anything to see that perfect smile of hers.

“One thing I can say is you’re definitely father and son. He’s you,” she jerks her head at me, “only younger. So, if you were trying to steal me away, it would probably be a tough decision.”

Chopper throws his head back and laughs, but I’m not amused. No one’s taking her from me – not Chopper, not anyone.

“I knew you were a keeper, lil darlin’.”

“Yeah? How’d you figure that out?” she asks.

“Well,” he moves closer, “that first night I saw you two together, I thought ‘this should be interesting’.”

“Because he’s such a man-whore?”

“Hey, I’m right here!” I exclaim.

She gives me the side-eye. “You know it’s true.”

“I can’t help it if I’m irresistible to the entire female population.”

“Whatever. Go on, Chopper.”

“As I was saying,” he gives me a dirty look. “You’re right. He is a man-whore. Hell, we all are, but I thought you might give him a run for his money. Then, you shot a man who was trying to kill my son. Around here, we protect what’s ours with our lives. That’s what you did. That’s how I knew you fit.” He points to me. “That’s when I knew you were his future.”

Well, damn. Where did that come from? I’ve never heard him talk like that before, either. Is he getting soft in his old age? Whatever the reason, Raven’s falling for it. She scurries to her knees and throws her arms around him.

“I knew Gage got his little sweet streak from you.”

“I am not sweet,” Chopper and I say at the same time.

Raven laughs. She fucking laughs. I pretty much gawk at her as she falls back on the bed, downright hysterical. It’s like music to my ears – the second best thing I’ve heard today next to her heart beating. It gives me a glimpse of my sunshine. It’s not much, but when it’s been raining for so long, a single ray is like a fucking miracle. Fuck, I’m sick of the rain. This? This gives me hope.

“See? I told you! You’re totally twinsies!”

Right now, I couldn’t care less about being like Chopper. I may be getting my hopes up over nothing, but this feels like progress. For the first time in months, she seems like her old self, like my little bird is coming back to me.

At least, that’s what I thought. After Chopper leaves, she goes right back into her shell. I try to comfort her, but she won’t talk to me or even let me touch her. She turns her back to me, curling up in the fetal position. I just don’t know what to do.

I leave her to take a much needed shower. Maybe I should give her some space. Plus, I just need some time to clear my own head. She’s not in the room when I return. I dress in record time and hurry out to the bar, searching for her. I walk in and feel like I stepped into the twilight zone. The soft notes of some love song echo from the speakers and the guys are all sitting around quietly. Some are just staring into space, but the others are focused on something. I follow their gazes straight to Raven. Who knew it would take this little woman to tame this wild bunch? She has her hands in the air, waving them slowly from side to side like she’s at a concert. She takes a hit of the joint between her thumb and index finger while she twirls. Her eyes are closed, seeming enchanted by the music. Pursing her lips, she blows the smoke into the air.

I make my way over to her and remove the joint from her fingers. Her lids flutter open and she stares up at me, her eyes glazed over. It’s an empty stare, like she doesn’t see me. Then, there’s a flash of recognition and she smiles. She smiles and my fucking heart skips a beat. It’s weak, barely there. It’s not the hundred-watt smile I love, but I’ll take it.

She runs her hands down my cut then grabs both sides, pulling me to her. It’s her signature move, I guess, sliding her hands under my cut and around my waist. She lays her head on my chest and hugs me tightly. I take a puff of the joint and wrap my arms around her. She sways against me, her nails dragging across my back as she clutches my shirt. The words of the song register in my brain and I pull her closer. I want her to look to me for everything she needs. I want to be her home. I want her to know she’s never alone. I want to be the man she turns to, no matter what. I want to be all those things and more for her. She looks up at me, her eyes beseeching, needing me to understand. It’s then I realize she already sees me that way.

“I know, doll.”

I pick her up, one hand on her back, the other under her knees, and she lays her head on my shoulder. I hand the joint to Ron and take her to my room. As I lay her on the bed, she grabs the sides of my cut.

“Why are you still here? Why are you still with me?”

“You’re mine, Raven. What happened didn’t change that.”

“But I’m –”

“Mine. As long as you need me, and even when you don’t, I’ll be here.”

***Raven***

Rock bottom. I’m there. It took me reaching the lowest point in my life—trying to kill myself—to realize how far I’d fallen. It opened my eyes to the miserable existence I’ve been leading and the effect it’s had on the people around me. Especially Gage. It’s been hardest on him because he’s borne the brunt of it. He’s the one who’s been in the trenches with me, the one who’s had my back when it needed protecting the most. But there’s only so much he can do. My life was shattered. I was shattered. Now, it’s time to put the pieces back together. Like they say, when you hit rock bottom, the only place to go is up. It’s time for me to start climbing.

First things first, I need to arm myself with information. After all, that’s what I do – read. While Gage has been pounding on his punching bag, I’ve been on my laptop doing research. There are so many sites dedicated to sexual assault, so many brave women who’ve shared their own experiences. Strong, kick-ass women like Oprah Winfrey, Maya Angelou, Madonna, and Mary J. Blige have all opened up about their abuse. They persevered and went on to do amazing things, so I know there’s life after rape. What happened happened, and there’s nothing I can do to change it. What I can do is accept it and move on. I’ll never be okay with it, but that’s fine. I have people to support me, so I’m luckier than most. I’ve always had all the tools I needed for recovery; I just had to recognize I was the most important one.

Maybe I should find an activity to take my focus off the rape. Drawing isn’t working. I glance at Gage and an idea hits me like one of his punches to the bag. Boxing. Why not? If I’m concentrating on beating someone up, I’m not thinking about the rape, right? With that in mind, I slide off the bed and slink my way over to him. He stops mid-punch and turns to face me.

“What’s up?”

“I was wondering…if you’d teach me.” I nod to the bag.

His brows shoot up in surprise and he drops his arms. “You wanna learn to box?”

“Yeah. Will you teach me?”

“Well, I can show you a few things, but you won’t be able to do much until your shoulder heals.”

Crap. I forgot about that. “I could use my left hand in the meantime.”

I move forward at his insistence and he positions me between him and the bag.

“Okay, doll. First thing, you gotta relax.”

His hands on my shoulders startle me, but I shake it off as he begins rubbing them. I close my eyes, wiggle my fingers, then clench and unclench my hands.

“Now,” he continues. “Spread your legs, just a little wider than your shoulders.” Once I’m in position, he says, “Good. You’re right handed so you’d place your left foot forward. Just a regular step away from the right.”

I step forward and look down at my feet. “Like this?”

He kneels and moves my feet to his liking, gently sliding his fingers along my leg as he stands. I don’t know why, but it makes me uncomfortable. Maybe it’s because my skin didn’t tingle the way it used to, or maybe it’s because I’m afraid it’ll never happen again.