I pull myself together and set out to find her. She’s on the couch with Ron and Chrissy and they’re all sharing a joint. Our eyes meet and she takes a long drag, her stare daring me to do something. I look away and head to the bar. Britney places a beer in front of me and gives me the smile that used to start a chain of events ending with her riding my dick. I pick up the beer and turn my back to her. E joins me, then Ace and Frog. They talk amongst themselves while I return my attention to Raven. Her head is on Ron’s shoulder and she’s trailing her fingers along his cut. I can’t even be pissed. She needs comfort, and I can’t provide that for her right now.

Ron leaves the girls and they move closer to each other. I narrow my eyes as I watch them. Something’s off. It’s like they can’t keep their hands to themselves.

“What are they smoking?” I ask Ron.

“Just weed.”

“No, not ‘just weed’. Look at them.”

Chrissy’s trailing her fingers down Raven’s cheek while Raven’s doing the same to Chrissy’s leg. They’re staring at each other as if discovering a new wonder.

“If it’s one of ours, it’s probably laced with X.”

I go from zero to a hundred in half a second, getting into Frog’s face. I have to give him credit. He doesn’t even flinch. “You gave my woman X?”

“I didn’t give your woman anything but by the looks of what’s going on, you should be thanking me.” He motions in the girls’ direction.

I turn around and my dick about does a somersault in my boxers. They’re kissing. Slow, gentle kisses, tongues touching, fingers exploring. Hot as fuck. That should be me, not Chrissy. I intend to rectify it, too. Raven looks up at me, eyes glazed over, when I stand over them.

“I hate you,” she tells me.

“No, you don’t.”

“Okay. I don’t like you.”

“Right now. You’ll get over it.” I hope.

She takes my extended hand and I lead her back to the bedroom. We climb into bed and she straddles my hips, sliding her finger across my lips.

“You’re pretty.”

“Men aren’t pretty, baby doll.” I chuckle.

“You are…but I still hate you.” She leans forward and rubs her cheek against mine. “Your beard is prickly. It feels good.”

She starts skimming my arms with her fingers. I take a calming breath but it does nothing.

“Take off your shirt. I want to feel your skin.” She sits up and tugs on my shirt, pulling it up. I oblige, tossing it to the floor. She explores my chest, tracing my tattoos with light touches. I close my eyes, relishing in her gentle caresses. Then, I feel her skin on mine. Jesus. She’s removed her top and her naked breasts are pressed to my chest.

“Touch me, Gage,” she begs on a moan.

I keep my eyes closed because I just might lose it if I look at her. I let my fingers glide up and down her spine. She shivers, whimpering as she presses harder into me. I know it’s the drug in her system but here I am, once again, taking advantage of it. She needs to be touched, so why shouldn’t I be the one doing it? She pulls away from me, taking my hands in hers.

“Look at me.”

I open my eyes slowly, dragging in a breath at the sight of her sitting on top of me, her gorgeous breasts on display. She moves my hands to her breasts and I give them a gentle squeeze.

“Touch me.”

I roll over, putting her beneath me. She stares up at me, lips parted, breathing heavy. God, she’s beautiful. I move down her body and begin kissing my way up her legs. When I encounter the first scar, I close my eyes and press my lips to the mark. I find each one, vowing to avenge her all over again. When I get to her stomach, she sniffles. I look up and there are tears streaming down her cheeks. I lie next to her and pull her into my arms. Counting each tear as they fall on my chest, I envision myself unloading my gun into the man responsible for this. One bullet for each tear.

CHAPTER 11

***Gage***

Just like I’ve done every night for the last couple of weeks, I lie in bed and watch her drawing at her table. The therapist encouraged her to use her art as an outlet, but I don’t know how helpful it is. She keeps drawing the same thing over and over – her view from the bed as her masked attacker stands at the door with his knife. Her nightmares have only gotten worse, and she’s now at a point where she can’t even sleep without the sleeping pills she was prescribed. Her therapist also prescribed depression meds, but I haven’t seen any changes since she’s been taking them. If anything, she seems worse. She’s always tired and when it comes to food, she either eats too little or too much. She’s changed so much over the last couple of months. This thing destroyed her. She’s not the vibrant, fun-loving girl I met, just a shell of her former self. It kills me to see her like this.

“Come to bed, babe.”

She glances over at me, her face expressionless, then walks to the bathroom. I know she’s taking her pill. When she climbs in next to me, I pull her into my arms.

“You know what tomorrow is, right?” I ask.

“Thursday?”

“Yeah, but it’s also Christmas Eve.”

“Oh.”

Her tone of voice is as dead as her expression was.

“I have a surprise for you.”

“Is it the blue box in the closet?”

I go still. Of course I remember the box in the closet. I just didn’t think she knew about it. “Have you opened it?” I ask apprehensively.

“No.”

I try not to breathe a sigh of relief. “No. But under no circumstance do you open it. Understand?”

“I understand.”

“Good. Now, go to sleep.”

***Raven***

I open my eyes and find he’s been watching me sleep again. This time, though, he has a smile on his face.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning,” I echo.

“Brush your teeth and meet me outside.”

He hops out of bed and hurries through the door. I drag myself out from under the covers and get myself ready to meet him. I’m a little curious to see what this surprise is. Throwing on one of his hoodies and some UGGs, I head out to the bar. Gage is standing by the clubhouse entrance with a Cheshire cat grin. What the hell is he up to?

“Holy, friggin’ hell, it’s cold out here. Can I come in yet?” An urgent voice comes from outside.

My heart skips a tiny beat. I move in the direction of the voice as Gage opens the door. Toni runs inside and I have my arms around her before she even sees me. She returns the embrace, squeezing tightly.

“Rave…”

God, I’ve missed her. Talking on the phone is just not the same as having her with me. I can’t believe she’s here.

“I thought you were going to Jamaica for Christmas?”

She pulls back and gives me an empathetic smile. “I am. I can’t stay but when Gage called, I knew I had to come see you.”

“How long?”

“I have a flight back to Miami this afternoon then I catch the last one to Kingston.”

I take her hand and drag her back to the bedroom. If I only have her for a few hours, I’m going to make use of it. She sits on the bed and I lie with my head in her lap, closing my eyes as she strokes my hair.

“Talk to me, Rave. What’s going on?”

“I don’t know.”

“I figured you haven’t been telling me the whole story, but at least you sounded okay on the phone. Why have you been hiding this from me?”

“I…please, I don’t want to talk about it. Can we just…stay like this?”

“Whatever you need. Just know I’m here when you’re ready to talk.”

“Thank you.”

The time flies by. Before I know it, Gage is at the door telling Toni it’s time to go. I walk her out, clutching her hand.

“When will you be back?”

“After New Year’s, but I promise I’ll come spend Spring Break with you.”

“Thanks for coming.” My voice breaks as the tears threaten to fall. She kisses my cheek, wipes the moisture from her own, then she and Allah drive away in the Charger. Gage wraps his arm around my shoulders and takes me back inside. He tries to get me to eat, but everything is like cotton in my mouth.