Jenna sigh is loud and dramatic.

“Ben’s going through his own thing right now. I think some woman has crawled under his skin and turned him inside out. I don’t even know who my brother is anymore.”

“Oh, is it—”

“Don’t say her name and jinx it.”

We laugh for a few seconds before Jenna sobers.

“Really Cate, you can’t hide this. You’re going to have to be honest.”

“I know. I just don’t want to hear everyone’s opinion. And what if Ben hates us for it? He was there. He was there for all of it. He watched me walk away.”

“Are you back there again? No one hates you. I thought you’ve given up that guilt. That’s not what you need while you’re rebuilding your relationship. Did you just tell me he hinted at moving in together?”

“Yes, and I don’t know what to do. If I move, I’ll have to get a car. It’s a lot.”

“You can always move back to Charleston and be close to me.”

I laugh a little before I tell her the truth about something. “I can never move back to Charleston. All the old hurts and mistakes I made are there. I can never be settled there.”

“But you will visit.”

“Yes,” I say, even though I wish I never had to.

My parents, his parents, some of our best friends are lifers in Charleston. I may not be able to call it home, but it will always be home to my family and his.

Winter-like weather continues to batter the city through early December. It isn’t until the following Friday I get to see Andy again. There is a holiday party at his office tonight and one at the hospital tomorrow. I’ve packed a bag as I plan to spend the whole weekend with him. The Uber rides are costly but cheaper and less of a hassle than maintaining a car. However, I have started to look at cars on the off chance I decide to move in with Andy.

I’m dressed to impress in a subdued, sexy number that won’t shock the doctors Andy works with, but won’t age me unnecessarily either. I spent a fair amount of time with Mandy searching for the right dress.

When I get to Andy’s door, his expression says it all.

“Jesus, Cate, I’m surprised the cabbie didn’t kidnap you. That dress is—”

“Good?”

He nods and I lean in to kiss him. His arm snakes around my back as he draws me up against his hardening cock.

“Happy to see me?” I ask with a smirk, as I pull back slightly.

“I’m always happy to see you.”

He glances at the phone in his hand. “We could be fashionably late.”

“Or,” I say raising an eyebrow, “We can be on time.”

“Cate.” I can hear the protest in his voice.

“I don’t want the doctors you work with to think I’m the one causing you to be late. First impressions, remember.”

“Once they see you,” he says, stepping back and eyeing me up and down, “they will forgive me for being late. In fact, I’ll probably get bonus points for showing up at all.”

I can’t help but laugh. “How about I give you some attention on the ride over?”

His brows shoot up and I give him a wide grin. He takes my bags and drops them on the table. “After you, my lady.”

I giggle as he pats my butt on the way out. I love how carefree our relationship has gotten. And true to my word, I give him the promised happy ending on the ride to his office.

My palms begin to sweat as we take the elevator up. He’s explained to me that with the new laws surrounding medical care for all, their office had to cut spending. The small holiday party is being held in house to save money. Less money spent on frivolous things means more money in the hands of the doctors themselves. Still, they wanted to have the party, and the doctor Andy has been covering is coming with her new baby.

“Cate, you have no reason to be nervous,” Andy says with an arm around my back.

“Easy for you to say. What if they don’t like me?”

Andy stares at me. “I work with them. It’s not like they are my family.”

And isn’t that the crux of the problem?

“And what will your family say when I show up with you at Christmas?”

“It will be fine, Cate.”

The doors open and too soon I’m ushered into a glass front office. There are a few people milling about. We don’t have any more time to talk about the week to come.

The doctors are friendly as Andy introduces me, but it’s the baby who steals the show. The infant is carefully passed around after hands are disinfected with liquid sanitizer. When it’s my turn, I feel the tears begin to form in the back of my eyes. I want this. I want a baby and a family. And I want it with Andy. The possibility of this could be derailed depending on how our week goes. I know Andy wants to think that it will be okay. But I’ve broken Andy’s heart once.

“Cate,” Andy says. He glances to the woman in front of me waiting to take the small bundle from my arms.

I hand the baby off and I immediately feel like something’s missing. The tiny baby who smells like powder makes me want too much in a short few minutes. I sip at the glass of wine Andy hands me and try not to think so hard about a future I want and may not get.

Later as the party wraps up, one of the older doctors with only a small thatch of white hair that clings to the crown of his head, speaks.

“Well Cate, what’s the verdict?”

I glanced up confused by the question that’s directed at me.

“Verdict?”

“We’re all hoping Drew will stay with us. And the way he speaks of you, I think his decision largely depends on you.”

I turn my head to the side and glare at Drew. He gives me a sheepish smile.

“Actually, I haven’t had a chance to talk to Cate about your offer yet.”

“Oh,” the man says. “Sorry, we are all just so pleased with Drew’s accomplishments so far. He will make a great addition to the team. And of course, a second office in DC will expand our client base.”

“DC,” I say to no one in particular.

That sparks conversation all around me. Drew uses the opportunity to draw me down the hall away from everyone. He pulls me into an office and closes the door.

“Andy, what’s going on?”

He takes my hands and my heart begins to race.

“I planned to talk to you about this later tonight. I didn’t expect they would put me or you on the spot like this.”

My eyes are wide because I don’t know what he’s about to do.

“Cate, I love you and I always have, you know this.”

I nod. I’m so very afraid he’ll get on one knee. I’m not sure I’m ready for that.

“Roslyn is coming back part-time to the office. However, they want to bring me on full time. To help justify the cost, they want to open a satellite office in DC. I’ll be there most of the time but will have a couple of days in Baltimore a month and will rotate hospital hours in both DC and Baltimore. It means I could move to DC.”

“That’s great,” I say.

His smile dips. “You don’t seem happy.”

“It’s not that. I’m just overwhelmed. It’s a lot. But it sounds like a fantastic opportunity.”

Even I know the smile on my face is a little weak. I try to crank it up because isn’t this what I’ve wanted?

The delight on his face falls. “You don’t want us to move into together.”

“I’m not saying that. I just need some time.”

He nods. “You’re right. I’ve grown to enjoy the area, but I’ll be honest with you. You sweeten the deal. If you don’t want this, if you don’t want me …”

He stops, not finishing his thought. I want to tell him everything is great. The words are stuck in my throat for reasons that make me itch to run. I promised him I wouldn’t.

He takes my hand and opens the door. He leads me back to the main room as hugs are being doled out and coos are being made over the baby. I feel like I’m having an out of body experience. I can’t explain what’s come over me and why I’m not happy when moments ago, I was dreaming of babies with Andy.

The drive back to his place is quiet. We get undressed and do our nightly ritual without saying much. I know Andy is hurt and I never meant to be the one to hurt him. It’s almost awkward when we climb into bed. Still he pulls me close.