We may have a weird connection that has been building for years, all on its own, but I know the moment I say the words, Carson would do anything for me. He proven tonight what he’s capable of and I didn’t even have to ask. But then again, if anyone ever hurt him, I’d do the same. I’d stand up for him, no questions asked. “I’m pretty sure you know what I mean.”
“I get it. I am here for a reason. And I’d do anything for you.”
“I know and I’m grateful you gave up living in an apartment of your own to help Kate and I with the bills, but you don’t have to be superman all the time. I want you to be happy, and lately, I get the impression you’re not.”
“I’m happy.”
“Are you lying?”
“I’m good, I promise. I’d be better with you, but I’m respecting your decision—even if I don’t understand what you see in him that you don’t see with me.”
I think about his words for a minute. There’s no easy way to describe the difference between them. Besides the obvious age difference, the fact that Rhett and I are in the same school, and that we love each other, there’s more to it than that. I care about Carson, but he’s just not Rhett. Still, I try to come up with a way to make Carson understand. “Sometimes Rhett treats me like I’m breakable. Like if he’s not careful, I’ll slip through his fingers or crumble.”
“That’s what you want?”
“It’s what I need. I’ve never had that kind of connection with anyone—that together we’re stronger than if we were apart. I’ve felt so alone for so long, but I finally have a guy in my life that wants to stick around—that isn’t leaving. I need that, Carson.”
“And you don’t think I’d treat you the same way? If not better?”
I turn to face him, wishing he wouldn’t doubt how amazing he is. “Carson, you’d treat me like a princess. That I’m sure of.”
“I get it, Kins. You don’t have to say another word.”
I reach for his hand, squeezing it. “Yes, I do because it doesn’t mean I care about you less. You’re important to me whether I’m with Rhett or not.”
He doesn’t respond, only staring at my hand resting on top of his. His fingers twitch ever so slightly, like he wants to wrap his fingers around mine, but he doesn’t. He stays completely still. I take it as my cue to leave—to give him some space.
As I stand up he says, “I hope it works out. You deserve it.”
“You’ll find your person, Carson. I know you will.”
His warm brown eyes pierce through me as he says, “I thought I did.”
I should tell him I’m not the one for him. That there’s so many more out there for him, but before I realize what’s happening, he leans closer. I turn my head at the last second and his mouth connects with my cheek. “Carson, this can’t happen.”
I move away from the bed, guilt flooding through my body, even though I managed to stop him before he took things too far. Still, before I’m gone, I hear one last plea. “Just remember, if it doesn’t work out, you know where to find me.”
“I’ll remember.”
I STAYED WITH Kinsley until one in the morning before climbing out of her bed, and driving home. I told my parents twelve at the latest, but I couldn’t leave her. She was still in so much pain from the fight, and all I wanted to do was watch over her while she slept in my arms. But after getting a warning text from my dad that my mom was about to come drag me home, I knew it was time to go. I’m eighteen. Kinsley and I are both adults by law, but while I’m living under their roof, I have to play by their rules.
Knowing it’s going to be another late night, I slept half the day away before asking my mom to iron my dress shirt for the homecoming dance. Yeah, so much for being a grown adult. Turns out I still need my mom unless I want to do it myself and risk setting the house on fire.
“Mom, do you have my shirt? I have to leave.”
She hurries up the stairs, handing me a crisp, white button down that’s ironed to perfection. “Do you want me to help you?”
I laugh at her, she’s never going to stop treating me like I’m five. “I can dress myself, you know.”
“I know honey, but this is my last year with you. Soon you’ll be graduating, and moving away, and you’ll have a family of your own. You could end up anywhere in the world—I’ll lose my baby forever.”
“Whoa, slow down, Mom. I’m going to homecoming, not getting married.”
“It all happens to fast, Rhett. Slow down a little, please. And I don’t want you staying out all night again.”
“Mom, it’s senior year. I’m just trying to enjoy it.”
“You’re spending too much time with this Kinsley girl. What about your friends? They’ll all be going in different directions soon. Trust me, you’ll want your friends when you’re all alone in a new place.”
“I do hang out with my friends, but I love Kinsley. She’s going to be with me whether I’m with friends or not.”
“You don’t know what love is yet. What you’re feeling is all puppy love—the kind that comes and goes and ends up a silly thing of the past.”
“That’s not how it feels at all. It’s real.”
“It may seem like that now, but once you’re older, you’ll see this was just something to help pass the time. That’s all she is, sweetie—a distraction.”
“Well, I don’t see it that way. I’m not sure I ever will.”
“Just promise me you’ll be smart. Don’t let her bring you down. She’s not like us, Rhett. She comes from a different place.”
I finish buttoning my shirt, and adjust my tie, all while doing my best not to yell at my own mother. How can she be so close-minded? I’ve never seen her be anything but nice to my friends, but when it comes to Kinsley, she wants her gone. “She’s a good person. You’d see that if you gave her a chance.” I grab my jacket and sling it over my shoulder, ending our conversation.
“I love you, honey. I do. I’m just worried,” she yells down to the foyer from atop the landing. I’m already halfway out the door. Nothing she can say will convince me she’s right. I love Kinsley—and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.
And that love only grows when I get to her apartment to pick her up, and she’s waiting for me in the living room. The dress. Wow. All I can do is stand and stare at the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen in my life. I can’t blink for fear she’s going to disappear because there’s no way I could be lucky enough to have her as my own.
“Rhett?”
I hear my name. It sounds like perfection coming from her painted red lips, but still, all I can do is stare. Her hair’s curled just the way I like it with a sparkly feather tucked behind her ear. The things I want to do with that feather.
But I don’t stay fixated on it for long. I can’t. Not when the heels she’s wearing are calling for attention. They make her a few inches taller, and the closer I get to her, I realize I won’t have to bend down quite as far to kiss her tonight. All put together, she looks like an angel in white, with more sparkles covering her body, and legs for days.
I motion with my finger for her to spin around so I can get the full effect. She fidgets nervously, obviously unsure if I like what I’m seeing. She’ll know when I’m finished looking.
Little by little I admire every inch of her, and hell if it isn’t absolute perfection. “Sunny, you look—you’re so beautiful. God, I’m so damn lucky.”
“You like it? Really?”
“I love it, and I love you. But we need to leave.” We need to leave before I push her into her bedroom and never let her leave.
“I’m ready,” she whispers in her most innocent voice while I’m busy thinking all kinds of dirty thoughts.
I take her hand, and link my fingers with hers. With more pride than I’ve ever had, I walk out of the house with Kinsley on my arm, and once I get my girl safely in my truck, I’m ready to get this night started.