Rhett nods his head, and walks to his truck, glancing over his shoulder a few times before he gets there.
“What’s up?”
Carson sets the bags on the stairs, and turns toward me. “I didn’t realize you were seeing Rhett.”
“I told you last night.”
“We didn’t get into specifics, you were a little under dressed for that, but I’m not sure it’s a good idea—especially now that I know it’s him.”
“Why not? What does it matter who it is?”
He exhales before continuing. “Because even I know your brother isn’t a Rhett fan. He’s been with a lot of girls. I don’t want you to end up a number in a long line of has beens. Plus, Wyatt would kill me if I knew what was going on and didn’t try to stop it.”
“Carson, you promised. You told me you’d let me tell him when the time was right. Rhett’s a good person, and Wyatt won’t like anyone I date anyway. It doesn’t matter if he knows him or not.”
He cocks an eyebrow. “I don’t know about that. He wouldn’t have a problem with you dating me.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re his best friend, so you don’t count.”
“Gee, thanks, Kins.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose, wishing we weren’t even having this conversation. Why can’t he just be happy for me? Everyone always has to challenge my decisions. “You know what I mean.”
“I’m not sure I do.”
“Carson, come on. You can’t go back on your word now. If you care about me at all, you’ll let me live a little. This is senior year. I’ll never get another one.”
He stares at Rhett’s truck, and finally, I can tell I have him on my side. At least for a little while. “Fine, but I still don’t like it.”
“You don’t have to like it, but I want you to respect it.”
Carson picks up the bags on the step. Before he walks away, he says, “When he breaks your heart, I’ll be here for you. Just remember that.”
I stare at his back as he walks up the rest of the stairs and into the apartment. I’m pretty sure I can trust him, but he’s right. My brother will kill him if he finds out he didn’t tell him about Rhett as soon as he knew, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take. For now, anyway. Wyatt can’t always control me the way he thinks he can.
Rhett walks around his truck to help me inside when he sees our conversation is over. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, we’re cool.” I spare him the details. He doesn’t need to know what Carson thinks of him. It’s mostly a stereotype anyway considering they’ve never spoken two words to one another. He’s going on what he thinks he knows, not what he actually does.
Rhett doesn’t say much for most of the drive, and he doesn’t reach for my hand like he usually does whenever he’s next to me. “What’s wrong?”
“Carson wasn’t what I was expecting,” he says, truthfully.
“What were you expecting?”
“I don’t know. The way you talked yesterday, I assumed he was Kate’s boyfriend for some reason.”
There’s a five year age difference between the two, which isn’t crazy or anything, but Kate and Carson definitely don’t have a romantic spark. I never said they were together, but Rhett must have assumed. “No, he’s just a friend.”
Rhett nods his head, still not saying much. It only eats away at me more. I can’t seem to please anyone this morning. “What’s bugging you? Just say it.”
“You introduced me as your friend.”
“You can’t be serious right now.”
He says nothing in response.
“I wasn’t even thinking when I introduced you. It just came out that way. I told Kate we’re together—she knows. Her opinion matters way more than Carson’s.”
“It felt like you were trying to spare his feelings, or something, and I guess I didn’t realize he was our age—or that he had a thing for you.”
“Rhett, please. You’re making a big deal out of nothing. I promise.”
“Kin, I saw the way he looked at you. I’d know that look anywhere because I’ve felt it, too.”
“How did he look at me?”
Without skipping a single beat, he says, “Like he wants you to be his.”
There’s nothing I can possibly say to that. If I deny it, I’m blowing off his feelings. And if I tell him he’s right, he’ll never stop worrying about Carson. I wish he understood I don’t want Carson, even if there’s a chance he does want me. “You make me nervous when you get quiet.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Is it about Carson? Because I promise you’re the only guy I want.”
“No, it’s not about him. I believe you when you tell me you don’t like him. I think it’s just harder because you live with a guy who’s not your brother. If he did want to date you, the possibility is always there for it to happen.”
“It won’t. I wouldn’t lie to you, Rhett.”
“I know you wouldn’t. It’s different this time.”
“How so?”
“I’ve never worried about losing someone before, especially when I just got her. It’s usually them trying to hold on to me—and that makes me sound like the biggest dick ever. But it’s always been true. I’m not used to being the jealous one.”
I thought I was the only one experiencing a relationship for the first time, but as it turns out, this isn’t how it typically works for him either. I didn’t even know Rhett knew the meaning of the word jealous.
“Please don’t let the idea of Carson mess us up.”
“I’ll try. Can I ask you one more thing before we put this whole conversation behind us?”
“Sure.”
Rhett reaches out and grabs my hand. It’s how I know we’re in a better place and that he’s accepting Carson for the time being.
“Why did you run away last night? You’re gonna give me a complex if you take off every time I kiss you.”
Again, I’m blindsided. I was hoping he forgot about last night. It’s been awhile since I had a panic attack, but as this morning goes on, I’m inching closer and closer. Between Rhett’s unexpected breakfast date, the run in with Carson, and trying to explain myself in a way he’ll understand, I’m overwhelmed again. This wouldn’t be so hard for any other girl—any other girl with experience and a normal family. “I’m sorry I ran away. It was nothing you did wrong.”
“But you’re not going to tell me why, are you?”
I shake my head. “You’d laugh if I told you. It’s my insecurities. That’s all.”
“I won’t laugh, Kinsley. I promise.”
I lean my head against the back of my seat, and while this is all new to me I know it won’t get any easier until we get on the same page. Right now, Rhett thinks I’m like everyone else—and I like that. But we’re doing the honesty thing this morning, which means I have to fess up, too.
There will never be an easy way to lead into this conversation, but as we pull into the parking lot at school, I need more time. I don’t want to rush through it. “I’ll tell you everything, but can we do it after school instead?”
“Sure, I’m still taking you home. You’re coming to my game, right?”
“Yeah, I usually go to all the games with Becca if I’m not working.”
“It’ll be cool having you in the stands,” he says, with a proud smile on his face. “What about the party after the game at Jake’s farm?”
“I’ve never been to a football party before.”
“Then this is the perfect opportunity to have some fun.”
If that wasn’t enough, he reaches behind his seat, and pulls out one of his game jerseys. “Will you wear this today?”
I was sure someone else was already wearing it, which is why I stare at the fabric in his hands, dumbfounded that it’s mine for the taking. He wants me to wear his number all day long—for the entire school to see. Showing up in his truck is a statement, but this, this is a declaration.
He takes my hesitation as not wanting to, stumbling over his words as he says, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I’d like my girlfriend to wear it.”
“I wasn’t expecting you to ask me. In fact, I was pretty sure someone else already had it. I thought I was going to have to watch Mandi walking around with your number on her back all day.”