Jai glances up at the tree. “Where was I?”

“You were at the part where we’re Barbie and Ken with absolutely no problems.”

He drops his stare back to mine, his irises swirling with beautiful amusement. “Not true. Ken doesn’t have a penis and I’d say that’s a major problem.”

I snort. “I think we’re getting a little off topic here. Tell me about your dream.”

“All right.” He clears his throat, leaning back against the tree, pulling me with him. “It starts as I’m taking you to dinner. It’s a big, extravagant dinner with more food than you’d consume in an entire year.”

“Why so much foo—”

He crushes his mouth to mine for the briefest second. I don’t even have the time to close my eyes and enjoy the aggressive press of his lips against mine before he pulls away with a “Shhhhh.”

Somehow, as my brain spins haphazardly in my head, I manage a nod.

Listening. Right.

“We sit down and I order all of my favorites from the menu—things I know you’ve never tried—and I order all of the things I think you’d like.”

“So…anything that comes with bacon?”

“Right.” A genuine smile curves his supple lips. “You wear a beautiful knee length red, silk dress that cuts across one shoulder and ties around the waist. Your long, smooth legs are seemingly never ending until my stare reaches the tall, black heels that encase your soft feet.”

I smile, unable to help it. He recites the details of the dream like he’s committed it to memory. There are so many butterflies in my belly at the moment I’m surprised I haven’t flown away yet.

“You don’t eat much, but we have a good time getting to know each other in more relaxed circumstances.”

He stops and admires me, his face content with the story he told. I blink. Well? Where the hell is the rest of it? I wait with faux patience. Not knowing is almost unbearable, like watching a movie with no conflict or climax. I like climaxes in every aspect of my life, thanks.

“And then?” I urge, prodding his stomach with my finger.

His eyes flare, teasing me with untold information. “And then what?”

Oh, the fucking angst. I hate it!

“What happens after that?”

Jai leans closer, until his warm breath blows across my cheeks. “After that…you fall madly in love with me.”

I roll my eyes, nervous at how warm it makes me feel under the collar. “Is that right?”

He’s smug, his handsome face smooth and happy. “It is.”

Fine. I’ll play his game. “And what happens after I fall madly in love with you?”

“You don’t want to know.”

I press against him. “Oh, but I do.”

My body exudes heat, singeing the fine hairs on the surface of my skin. Jai lowers his face and brushes his lips against mine. I can’t breathe. His very existence sucks the air from my lungs like a vacuum does when you put it over your mouth.

“You want to know?” He teases, his voice laced with desire.

I nod. I nod earnestly.

“I take you home and throw you on my bed. You’re absolutely terrified as I grab your pathetic, thin, little dress and tear it right from your body.”

His eyes brighten as my lips part and I shiver.

“To my delight, you’re not wearing anything underneath.”

Embarrassingly, my breath hitches and if I had pearls I’d clench them. “And then?”

“And then…” He pauses as his heavy lidded eyes flicker over my face. “I keep the rest of the dream to myself.”

“What?” I gape like a fish out of water. “Y-you can’t do that.”

His lips pull into a devious smirk. “I just did.”

I open my mouth to cuss him out and maybe say some shit I’ll regret later, but the sound of the back door slamming shut takes the words right out of my mouth. I don’t need to look over my shoulder to know it’s Joel. I see it Jai’s eyes. I see the glimmer of happiness I put there before it drowns in bitter darkness. Jai pulls his head back, the connection between us evaporating in a second.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” He groans, dropping the back of his head against the tree.

I push back against the sweater, hinting for him to let me out.

“Stay.” He mutters.

I shake my head. “You two need to sort this out.”

Sighing, he grabs the hem of the sweater and stretches it out, making it easy for me to slip out the bottom. I grab his hand and squeeze it gently before I turn around and walk off. A violent shiver makes me hyperaware of the rapid return of my goosebumps.

I wrap my arms around my waist and hug myself as tight as I can as I approach Joel. He tugs on the strings to a black hoodie Jai gave him, tightening the fabric around his face.

“He’s all right?” He asks, his eyebrows furrowing with the first hint of concern I’ve seen him show for Jai since he got here.

I swallow, stopping in my tracks. The safe answer is to tell him Jai is all right. The correct answer is to deny that Jai is okay...because he’s not. He needs his brother. He destroyed his own life to bring Joel back and for what? I’m an orphan so I can’t speak from experience, but I know common courtesy requires some kind of acknowledgment at the very least.

“Uh...” I scratch my head, shifting my weight onto my left leg as I lean with my hip. How do I put this delicately but still drive home my main point?

“He threw away his career and risked his life for you.”

Yeesh. Not exactly delicate, but at least it’s precise.

“But I didn’t—”

“He’s murdered people in cold blood and, not to mention, he recently abandoned his little sister and has her shipped to a different country, and for what? You?”

Joel drops his dark, ocean stare to the icy ground. I’m glad I’m making him uncomfortable. He should know the lengths his brother went to to save his life.

“I fought him constantly, you know. I tried to convince him that you were dead and Skull did too, but he was hell bent on proving us wrong. He couldn’t let it go...” I pause, letting it sink in. “Don’t make him wish he’d listened to us.”

Joel looks at me. Emotion, clear and wet, builds up in the corner of his eyes and it pulls at my heart strings, sending it catapulting into my throat.

He is a man in love.

He is a man barely holding it together.

“I can’t forget her. I can’t leave her. Not there—not with him.” He clenches his jaw—on and off—in thought. “I need his help.”

I offer a small, comforting smile. Love is such an unrelenting force of nature. Jai could cut off Joel’s legs and send him to the other side of the world and Joel would still make it back here. That’s the way the heart works. Who would have thought such a delicate ball of blood and tissue could be so strong?

“Good luck.” I say, unable to hide another shiver as the wind picks up.

“Thanks.”

I force my cold, stiff legs forward, eager to get back inside the warm house. As I reach the back steps, I glance over my shoulder and whisper another good luck under my breath.

God knows he’s going to need it.

Three

****

Need

Jai

We can’t even look at each other. Awkwardly, our stares scan over the lake and the rustle of leaves is the only sound to be heard. This uncertainty is a far cry from where we used to be. Joel and I could talk about anyone and anything…but I guess a lot of things have changed.

Exhaling, Joel reaches into the pocket of his black hoodie and pulls out a cigarette. I watch him as he places it between his dry lips and fishes for a lighter in the pockets of his sweatpants. He finds it in the front pocket and brings the metal plate at the top to the tip of his cigarette. With a swift flick of his thumb, sparks turn into a solid flame. It dances in the breeze before he shields it with his hand and lights his cigarette. The tip glows red as he sucks on the butt and returns the lighter to his pocket.