WELL, WELL, WELL–YOU’RE STILL
HERE. PERSEVERANCE IS A BIG
PART OF JOINING THE TEAM.
PERSONALLY, I WOULD HAVE BET
MONEY YOU’D HAVE RUN HOME TO
YOUR MOMMY BY NOW. ANYWAY,
YOU NEED LEVEL 5 CLEARANCE
TO READ FURTHER, AND TO GET
LEVEL 5 CLEARANCE YOU NEED
TO GIVE A SALIVA SAMPLE.
PLEASE LICK THE SENSOR.
UGH. WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN
EATING? IT SMELLS LIKE
SOMETHING DIED IN THERE.
TRY SOME MOUTHWASH.
ACCESS GRANTED.
The Hyena was surprised when Dumb Vinci told her that Dr. Jigsaw wanted to see her in his secret lab, where his henchmen still worked day and night on the giant satellite dish. She asked the goon what Jigsaw wanted, but he couldn’t elaborate, so she grabbed her warmest sweater and headed toward the scientist’s inner lair.
Once inside, the Hyena wished she had worn a coat. Jigsaw, however, seemed oblivious to the cold. He was wearing just a thin lab jacket and a scarf. He smiled and gestured for her to follow him. He led her up a flight of stairs to a tiny room looking out over the lab. Inside was a chair, a desk, a computer, and thousands of jigsaw puzzle pieces, covering the floor. The box for the puzzle was tacked on the wall. It showed a map of the world. Jigsaw scooped up a handful of pieces and snatched a pair of scissors off the desk, then he stood by the window overlooking the lab and gazed down on his machine.
“You have done well, Mindy,” he said. The Hyena bristled at the use of her real name, but kept her cool. Jigsaw was paying the bills. He could call her Señorita Monkeyface if he wanted. “Lunich’s invention is an essential element of my design,” Jigsaw continued. “Without it we might have suffered setbacks. Simon doesn’t like setbacks.”
“Who is Simon?” the Hyena asked.
Jigsaw ignored her. “Mindy, do you know the definition of beauty?”
“I’m not sure what you mean, sir.”
“Beauty,” Jigsaw repeated. He used the scissors to cut the jigsaw pieces into entirely new shapes, as if he was unhappy with the picture the puzzle was making. What he had completed so far didn’t look much like the Earth. “It’s a simple question.”
“Beauty is something that’s visually appealing,” the Hyena answered.
“A simple answer for a simple question. Some might argue that beauty is more than what you see, that it involves a variety of senses—smell, sound, and touch, as well as vision. All combining to represent what many people might label as beauty.”
The Hyena was confused but said nothing. She could tell that Jigsaw was making his I’m-an-evil-mastermind speech. He would find it rude if she interrupted with questions.
“Still others subscribe to a notion that beauty is defined by perfect symmetry,” the scientist continued. “Have you heard that word before?”
The Hyena nodded. “That’s when things balance each other.”
“Very true. Take a human being. What we often call beauty is no more than features that align; eyes that are just the right width apart, a nose that doesn’t sit too low on a face, high, perfectly matched cheekbones. Symmetry is what makes beauty possible. It creates the ideal. It’s at the heart of nature. But what happens when symmetry hasn’t been provided, or worse, has been broken? The beauty is distorted. It’s impossible to see clearly. When that happens, at least for the human animal, we turn to surgeons who can give us what nature has not provided. What a noble profession that must be—surgeon.”
“Uh, yeah,” the Hyena said. She tried not to stare at Jigsaw’s face-lift. It looked as if someone had collected his loose skin and tied it into a knot on the back of his head. It was distracting.
“I like to think of myself as a surgeon,” Jigsaw continued. “In many ways what my machine and I are doing is reconstructive surgery. I thought you might like to see a demonstration.”
Jigsaw tapped a button on a speaker near his window. “Is the new tractor beam ready?”
A crackling voice replied, “Yes, sir.”
“Lock in coordinates.”
“Coordinates are ready, sir,” the voice said.
“You have a ‘go,’” Jigsaw replied.
There was a loud blasting sound and the Hyena watched the giant satellite dish turn toward another part of the sky. Mounted on the dish was a huge peg-shaped object. The Hyena recognized it at once. It was a gigantic version of Dr. Lunich’s tiny invention. Jigsaw and the scientists had figured out how it worked! Jigsaw clapped like a happy baby and led the Hyena to the computer in the far corner of the room. On the screen was a satellite map of the world. He pointed to the Hawaiian Islands and grinned. “Have you ever been to Hawaii, Mindy?”
The Hyena nodded.
“Lovely place,” Jigsaw said. “Though it’s quite expensive to go there and the flight is very long. I’ve always wished that wasn’t the case.”
Just then there was a loud rumbling sound from the lab below. The dish was glowing with energy, and when the Hyena was sure it was about to explode, a green beam shot into the air.
“Watch the monitor, Mindy,” Jigsaw said.
She turned back to the computer and watched as the satellite image revealed something that the Hyena was sure was impossible. The entire chain of Hawaiian Islands began to move. It drifted toward the coast of California and stopped somewhere near San Francisco.
The henchman’s voice chirped through the speaker. “Sir, congratulations! The test was a success,” the voice replied.
“I’m pleased, and Simon will be too,” Jigsaw replied.
“Unfortunately, the fuel cell on the dish has been destroyed. To finish your plans we’re going to need a power source with nearly unlimited energy.”
“And very soon I will provide you with the next element of the machine’s design. It will fix all of our problems,” Jigsaw said. Then he turned off the speaker box and faced his puzzle. He snatched his scissors and went to work cutting out new jigsaw puzzle pieces.
“Mr. Jones, I’m sick of seeing your face in my office!” Mr. Dehaven shouted as Jackson sat in a chair before him.
“I’m sick of being here,” Jackson grumbled to himself. Since he had joined the NERDS, Jackson had been in Dehaven’s office seven times.
“You have been late for school every day for two weeks. Why is that?”
Jackson rolled through a list of previously constructed lies: he was attacked by dogs, the power went out and his alarm clock didn’t go off, his house burned down, etc. Jackson wanted to tell Dehaven the truth. He wanted to tell him that he hadn’t been getting enough sleep because he was busy learning to fight and be sneaky and to interrogate suspects, and reading through mountains of files and reports on every little squabble anyone had ever had for the last twenty years. He wanted to tell him everything so Dehaven would get off his back, but he couldn’t. He had been sworn to secrecy.