“Stupid machine.” Jackson chuckled.

“Hey, Jackson,” Duncan shouted. He was walking along the wall.

“I’m beating your ball,” Jackson shouted back.

“I forgot to tell you something,” he said. “The sphere can replicate itself.” “It can do what?”

“It can make copies of itself!” the nerd shouted.

Suddenly, the humming grew louder and louder. Jackson looked up. Ten tetherballs hovered over his head, and moments later, the lasers fired.

RESULTS: FAILURE

Jackson met Flinch in the parking lot of the school. The nerd’s face was covered in caramel, and there were a dozen or so candy bar wrappers lying at his feet. He had a cup of convenience store soda in his hand that was bigger than his own head. He was also trembling with caffeinated joy.

“So, I suppose you’re going to beat me up too,” Jackson said. He could still feel the burning laser stings on his behind, the bruises from the back scratcher, and the place where the kindergartener’s lunch box had hit him in the skull.

Flinch shook his head wildly. It seemed everything he did was over the top. “No way! We’re going to play a game of catch, bro.”

“Catch? OK, that’s something I’m very good at,” Jackson said.

“But you’re going to use your superbraces to do it,” Flinch said. “All that technology in your mouth is awesome! We have to teach you how to use it. Luckily, a lot of it is responsive to what’s going on around you. Here, I’ll show you.”

Jackson watched Flinch step over to a teacher’s car. He turned the dial on his harness and then, in one swift motion, leaned down and picked the car up off the ground. He held it over his head like it was a feather pillow. Then he tossed it at Jackson.

Jackson screamed and instinctively ducked, though he knew it wouldn’t do much to prevent his impending death. What he couldn’t have imagined was the braces in his mouth springing to life. They forced his mouth open and several strands of metal caught the car in midair.

“Hombre, that is awesome,” Flinch shouted. “Throw it back.”

Jackson didn’t have time to think before the braces hefted the car back at the little boy. Flinch snatched it out of the air and set it back down in its parking space.

“You just threw a car at me!” Jackson yelled.

“Fun, isn’t it?” Flinch shouted as he shoved a peanut butter cup into his mouth.

“Fun is not the word I would use to describe it,” Jackson replied.

“Heads up!” Flinch shouted as he tossed another of the teachers’ cars at him. This time the braces seemed ready and stopped it long before it closed in on his head. Still, the experience was heart-attack inducing. Jackson set the car down just in time to spot another sailing through the air at him.

“Cut it out!” Jackson shouted as he caught it and set it back on its four wheels.

“I’m strong like bull!” Flinch shouted, oblivious to Jackson’s complaints. “Let’s make this interesting.”

He snatched a car, tossed it, then snatched another, then tossed it, and on and on and on. The cars sailed through the air fast and furious. Jackson’s braces spun around in his mouth like a blender as they attempted to catch them all, but there were too many. The best he could do was try to swat them away. His efforts did little, and soon one of the cars crashed to the ground next to him. Then another landed right behind. Soon the cars were piling up around him, locking him inside an automotive pyramid. He was safe and unharmed, but he was trapped.

“You are supposed to catch them,” Flinch shouted. Jackson stewed with anger. “Get me out of here, you freak!”

RESULTS: FAILURE

Flinch pulled Jackson out of the car pyramid and told him to go back inside. As painful, humiliating, and downright scary as his experiences had been that day, they faded in comparison to the nerve-racking tension of meeting Ruby Peet. Pufferfish hadn’t exactly hidden the fact that she hated him.

Much to Jackson’s surprise, the only things in the room in which he found her were a small black box with several suction cups attached to it, a desk, and two chairs.

“Why don’t you have a seat?” she said.

“So, what’s all this?” he said apprehensively.

Ruby smiled and attached the little suction cups to Jackson’s temples. “Nothing to worry about. I know the others have been a little rough on you, but I can assure you that nothing in this room will hurt you.”

“Good.”

“Unless you tell a lie,” Ruby said.

“Oh, is this one of those lie detectors?” Jackson said, eyeing the little black box once more. He noticed it was plugged into the electrical socket on the wall.

“No, I’m the lie detector. I’m allergic to lying,” Ruby said.

Jackson giggled. “Allergic to lying. That’s hilarious.”

Ruby smiled. “The point of this exercise is to train you to stay calm under pressure and teach you how to tell a lie effectively. A good spy is called upon to lie from time to time. If you have valuable information, you will need to convince our enemies that you don’t know anything. You may have to lie to save a life. You may have to lie to save the world. Lying is a skill that takes a lot of practice. This machine will help you hone this talent.”

“How?”

“Every time you tell a lie and I detect it, it’s going to send volts of electricity through your body. Ready to get started?” Jackson winced and nodded. “Is your name Jackson Jones?” Jackson smiled. “Yes.”

“Very good,” Ruby said. “You’re telling the truth. Are you a student at Nathan Hale Elementary?”

“Duh! I was only one of the most popular kids in the history of the school,” Jackson said.

“Very good,” Ruby said.

“Jackson, have you ever kissed a girl?”

Jackson hesitated. “Of course I have.”

Jackson watched as Ruby’s right arm swelled to the size of a watermelon. She scratched at it furiously. “You lied.” She pushed a button on the black box and a blast of electricity hit Jackson.

“Ouch!”

“Next question,” Ruby said. “Did you play for the school’s football team?”

“Yes,” Jackson grumbled.

“Good,” Ruby said. “Does your father write your name on your underwear?”

“Of course not,” Jackson cried.

Ruby face and neck broke out into bright red hives. A second later there was another shock.

“Jackson, have you ever wet the bed?”

Jackson blinked.

“Do I need to repeat the question?”

“I refuse to answer.”

“You can’t. You have to say yes or no. I’ll shock you if you don’t.”

Sweat dotted Jackson’s face, but he did what he could to calm down. He closed his eyes, took deep breaths, and relaxed his beating heart. Then, when he was feeling serene, he opened his eyes. “The answer is no.”

Ruby stared at him for a long time, but she did not scratch herself. In fact, she looked perfectly comfortable.

“You’re not lying.”

Jackson shook his head. “I’ve never wet the bed. Ever.”

“Hmmmm,” Ruby said. “OK, let’s move on to the next question.”

“Aha! I beat your lie detector,” Jackson bragged.

Suddenly, Ruby’s eyes started to water and her feet swelled so much she ripped through her shoes. Her nose ran like a river and her lips puffed up so much that they looked as if they had been attacked by a swarm of honeybees.

“Liar!” she shouted as her swollen thumb slammed the shock button. For three days after the test, Jackson felt as if he had been microwaved like a baked potato.