The sound of the door alerted her to us. Turning enough to show her profile, she spotted me. Her smile went ear to ear, eyes twinkling with life—with vibrancy—even if so much of what was behind her blue gaze was jumbled.

“Zoe,” she said, motioning to me. “Oh, you've come to see me! It's been so long!”

Pain crept into my heart. So long? No. It was just yesterday. “Hi, Gram,” I said, moving to sit beside her. She curled her frail arms around my neck, kissing my cheek. Her skin was papery, yet still flushed for a woman in her seventies.

Embracing her firmly, I looked over her head. Huck was staring at us, confusion and doubt leaving deep grooves in his skin.

Carefully, I pulled out of my grandma's arms. “Gram, I brought you something.” Offering the truffles, I enjoyed a spark of joy at how delighted she looked.

“Oh! Hazelnut! My favorite.” Chuckling, she took the bag and opened it. “Now, I'd share, but you know you're allergic.”

I laughed like I always did when she said that.

Chewing the candy, she finally noticed Huxton. Her eyes flashed, concern burning bright. “Oh, who... Reese? Is that Reese, dear?” I caught the corner of her mouth trembling.

Both Huck and I flinched. Putting my palm on her knee, I shook my head. “No. Gram, this is a friend of mine. His name is Huxton.”

“Huxton,” she said doubtfully. Squinting, she offered him a truffle. “Are you allergic? You musn't eat this if you are. You'll turn all red and puffy, like poor Zoe did when she was little.”

The grin I loved returned to his face. “I'm not allergic, thank you.” Taking the little ball, he popped it in his mouth. He was watching me, asking so many things with his stare.

Patting Gram's knee, I said, “I'll be right back. I need to talk to Huxton outside. We'll be quick.”

Nodding, she waved her frail hand. Again, she watched Huck with a flutter of nerves. There was tension behind her eyes, I'd never seen her look so uneasy. “You need to be careful,” she said to him. “Very careful. Not too fast.”

My jaw went slack. Confused, I looked between them both. “It's okay Gram, we'll be careful.” What the heck did she mean by that? Did she think Huck and I were... what, getting together too fast?

I couldn't have said she was wrong. Everything in my life was moving at breakneck speeds, these days.

She watched us until we shut the door. In the silent hall, Huck turned to me. His lips didn't move.

Leaning on the wall, I closed my eyes. “That was my grandmother.”

He waited. When I said nothing else, he nodded. “Okay.”

Touching my cheek, where she'd kissed me, I sighed. “You noticed something was wrong with her, right?”

Huck shifted in place, uncomfortable. I didn't blame him. “Is it like Alzheimer's? She said she hadn't seen you in forever, but you did come here yesterday... right?”

“Yeah. I did. I come and visit her once a week or so.” My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth. I didn't know how to begin. “Gram has... brain damage.”

“That's awful,” he whispered. “From what?”

Lifting my chin, I smiled sadly. “From me.”

Huck transformed. I had a front seat to the show. His sympathy rolled into bafflement, then it took a hard corner and became disbelief. Surely, disgust would come next. I couldn't handle it, I closed my eyes. Seeing his reaction was too hard.

He asked gently, “Zoe, how could you have caused that?”

Breathing through my nose, the air came out in a rush. “I'll let you in on a secret. Not that long ago, I used to be an awful, awful person. I didn't give a shit about anyone but myself. Life was hard, everyone always says that. But for me... it was like, if I didn't do something to numb it all, I couldn't deal.”

Risking a look upwards, I studied Huck's knotted eyebrows. He was listening intently. I pressed on, saying, “I didn't even have a good reason. Sure, my parents divorced, and I hated how they fought, how they wanted me to choose between them. But so what? How pathetic is that?”

Huck was still as stone.

“I just wanted someone to care about me, for once. The first guy... I guess I was sixteen. Typical jerk, but he did it for me. He offered me attention. An escape.” Smiling bitterly, I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Fuck, I hate this story. I hate my past. I'll sum it up; I was a party girl. I drank and stuck whatever I could into my system.”

Shivering, I hugged myself, recalling the needles. Coming down off of everything cold-turkey had been a struggle. It had been six months since I'd quit, and even now, I still felt a ghost of a craving at times.

Reese had really given me hell for quitting, he'd called me boring.

That was probably why he'd cheated on me.

I said flatly, “Asshole after fucking asshole, none of those guys cared about me. I thought they did, but... I know better, now. My parents didn't want to deal with me, they said I was out of control.”

Turning, I put my cheek on the door. “But my Gram? She took me in. She wanted better for me. She believed in me, even if I didn't.”

Huxton reached out, cupping my shoulders. I winced at the contact, so wrapped up in my memories that it was hard to battle down my urge to run. He hissed through his teeth. “Zoe, calm down. You're not a bad person for partying, or for messing with the wrong guys. Lots of people do that.”

Setting my jaw tight, I met his stare calmly. “I know. I haven't gotten to the worst part of the story yet.”

He stood taller, not releasing me.

Deciding to continue, no matter what Huck did or said, I licked my bottom lip. “She really did try to get me to stop. I still didn't, I just began hiding it from her. I wanted her to be proud of me, but I was too weak to quit. I was dating Reese at the time, he loved going out and being nuts. He was so free, I guess I admired how little he cared what others thought of him. Now I hate that part of him.”

Remembering that I'd compared Huck to Reese, I frowned. Huck said nothing. I looked to the side, whispering, “Sorry.”

“It's fine. Go on.”

Nodding, I said, “Because I was hiding it from her... I wasn't ready for her phone call. It was kind of late, and I was already fucked up. She phoned me, so I stumbled outside the house I was partying at. Gram needed me to come with her. She was a good driver, but she wasn't strong enough to carry this big desk she'd seen someone giving away online. She really wanted it—she used to be a writer.” My voice fractured. “Smart as a whip. It was her only chance to get it before they'd hand it off to someone else. Well, I panicked.”

My blood was pumping with the memory. I could hear the tremor in my voice. “She needed someone, and it couldn't be me. I called Reese. She knew him, we'd been dating for over a year by then. He was... angry, he wanted to come to the party with me. I told him, just go to her house, let her drive you to wherever and move the desk, it'd be fast.”

Huck sensed my nerves, squeezing me gently. “You're trembling.”

“Of course I am. I hate this story. I can't believe I'm telling you.” Willing my lungs to work better, I gathered myself. “Reese went with her. I went back to getting wasted. His phone call came at seven-fifteen at night. I remember it exactly.” How could I forget? “Reese was freaking out. He said there'd been an accident, I needed to go to the hospital.”

Tension slammed into my temples. Reaching up, I held my skull, grimacing. “What's wrong?” Huck asked.

“This is killing me. I'm exposing how terrible I am. I let my selfishness get my grandmother nearly killed, Huck. I should have told her the truth, I should have never asked Reese to go... he was hurt, too. I thought, back then, how thankful I was that he'd been with her when she'd crashed the car.” Blinking, my tears welled up. I forced them away. “He pulled her out of the wreck, called the ambulance. Because of me, she's like this... because of him, she was saved.”