Carl took a step back to get the full picture of this paper pandemonium. What on earth were all his files doing on the wall? Had Rose and Assad become completely unhinged all of a sudden? Maybe that was why they’d vanished, bloody imbeciles.
They hadn’t the guts to stick around.
Upstairs on the third floor it was the same story. The place was deserted. Even Mrs Sørensen’s chair behind the front desk yawned empty. He checked the offices of the homicide chief as well as his deputy. He wandered into the lunchroom, then the briefing room. It was like the place had been evacuated.
What the fuck’s going on? he thought to himself. Had there been a bomb scare? Or had the police reform finally got to the point where the staff had been kicked out into the street so all the buildings could be sold off? Had the new, so-called justice minister had a fit? Had everything gone tabloid?
He scratched the back of his neck, then picked up a phone and called the duty desk.
‘Carl Mørck here. Where the hell is everyone?’
‘Most of them are gathered in the Remembrance Yard.’
The Remembrance Yard? What the hell for? The 19th of September was six months away yet.
‘In aid of what? As far as I’m aware, the anniversary of the internment of Danish police officers isn’t even remotely round the corner. What are they doing?’
‘The Commissioner wanted to speak to a couple of departments about adjustments following the reform. Sorry about that, Carl. We thought you knew.’
‘But I just spoke to Mrs Sørensen.’
‘Most likely she’s had all calls sent on to her mobile, I’m sure that’ll be the explanation.’
Carl shook his head. They were stark raving mad. All of them. By the time he reached the Remembrance Yard, the Justice Ministry would probably have changed everything round again.
He stared through the door at the chief’s soft, enticing armchair. That was one place, at least, where a man could close his eyes without an audience.
Ten minutes later he woke up with the deputy’s paw on his shoulder and Assad’s cheerful, round eyes peering into his face from ten centimetres away.
There’d be no peace now.
‘Come on, Assad,’ he said, extracting himself from the chair. ‘You and I are going downstairs to pull all those sheets of paper off the wall sharpish, you understand? And where’s Rose?’
Assad shook his head. ‘We cannot, Carl.’
Carl stood up and tucked his shirt into his trousers. What the hell was he on about? Of course they could. Wasn’t he supposed to be the boss around here?
‘Just come on, will you. And get hold of Rose. NOW!’
‘The basement’s closed off,’ Deputy Commissioner Lars Bjørn butted in. ‘Asbestos from the piping insulation. Health and Safety have been round and there’s nothing we can do about it.’
Assad nodded. ‘Indeed, we had to bring all our stuff up here. There is hardly any room, but we did find a nice chair for you,’ he added, as though it could ever be a comfort. ‘There is only the two of us. Rose did not fancy it, so she is off on a long weekend. She will be back later on today, though.’
They might just as well have kicked him in the gonads.
2
She sat staring into the candles until they burnt out and darkness wrapped itself around her. It wasn’t the first time he’d left her on her own, but he’d never done it on their anniversary before.
She inhaled deeply and got to her feet. Lately, she’d given up standing by the window to wait for him, had stopped writing his name with her finger on the pane as it steamed up from her breath.
It wasn’t like there had been no warning signs the first time they met. Her friend had had her doubts, and her mother had told her straight out. He was too old for her. There was something shifty about him. A man you couldn’t trust. A man you couldn’t fathom.
So now she hadn’t seen her friend or her mother for a very long time. And for that reason her desperation increased; all the while her need for human contact was greater than ever. Who could she talk to? There was no one there.
She gazed into the empty, orderly rooms and pressed her lips together as the tears welled up in her eyes.
Then she heard the child stir and pulled herself together. Wiped the tip of her nose with her index finger and took two deep breaths.
If her husband was being unfaithful, then he could do without her.
There had to be more to life than this.
Her husband came into the bedroom so silently only his shadow on the wall gave him away. Broad shoulders, arms wide open. He lay down and drew her in towards him without a word. Warm and naked.
She had expected sweetnesses, but also well-considered apologies. Maybe she’d been afraid of the slight scent of some strange woman and guilt-ridden hesitation in all the wrong places, but instead he grabbed hold of her, turned her violently on to her back and began to greedily tear off her nightclothes. The moonlight was on his face. It turned her on. Now the waiting, the frustration, the worry and the doubt were all gone.
It was six months since he’d last been like this.
Thank God, at last.
‘I have to be away for a while, sweetheart,’ he said without warning over the breakfast table, stroking the child on the cheek. Distracted, as though what he said didn’t mean anything.
She frowned and pursed her lips to keep the inevitable question inside for a moment. Then she put her fork down on the plate and sat with her gaze fixed on the scrambled eggs and bacon. The night had been long. It was still with her, an ache inside her abdomen, but also the kisses and cuddles, when they had lain there all spent, and the warm looks into each other’s eyes. Until now, it had allowed her to forget all thoughts of time and place. Until now. For at this moment, the pale sun of March forced its way into the room like an unwelcome guest to illuminate the facts. Her husband was going away. Again.
‘Why can’t you tell me what you do? I’m your wife. I won’t tell anyone,’ she said.
He sat with his cutlery suspended in the air. His eyes grew dark then.
‘Seriously,’ she went on. ‘How long am I supposed to wait before you’re like you were last night? Are we back to where we were now? Me not knowing what you’re up to, and you hardly being here, even when you’re here?’
He looked at her too directly. ‘Haven’t you known from the start that I can’t talk about my work?’
‘Yes, but …’
‘Well, then. Let’s leave it at that.’
His knife and fork clattered against the plate, and he turned towards their son with something supposed to resemble a smile.
Her breathing was steady and calm, but despair surged inside her. It was true enough. Long before their wedding he had explained to her that he was entrusted with work about which he was unable to speak. He might have hinted it was something to do with intelligence, she couldn’t really remember any more. But as far as she knew, people in the intelligence services still lived pretty normal lives alongside their jobs. Their life was in no way normal. Unless people in intelligence also spent time on alternative jobs like being unfaithful, because as far as she could see, that was the only possible explanation.
She gathered the plates and thought about giving him an ultimatum there and then. Risking his anger, which she feared, but whose full extent she had yet to comprehend.
‘When will I see you again?’ she asked.
He looked at her and smiled. ‘I’ll be home next Wednesday, I imagine. This type of job usually takes a week, ten days at most.’
‘You’ll be home just in time for your bowling tournament, then,’ she said sarcastically.
He stood up and put his arms around her, drawing her in towards the bulk of his body, clasping his hands under her chest. The feeling of his head on her shoulder had always sent a tingle down her spine. But now she pulled away.