“Pick me up at eight?” she asked when we got to the edge of her driveway.
“Are you sure we can’t stay in tonight?” I made one last ditch effort to get her all to myself.
She laughed and shook her head. “No way. You’ve been looking forward to this for weeks. I’m not going to be the one to keep you from it.”
I let out an exasperated sigh and placed my hands on top of my head. “I don’t care! It’s one party. There will be plenty this summer.” I dropped my hands and grabbed one of hers. “But my time with you is limited, and I don’t want to share you.”
Her eyes dilated. Her voice was soft and slightly trembling when she said, “You’ll never have to share me, Jeremy. You should know that by now.”
Just like that, something inside me clicked. I didn’t want to share her. Not with anyone there. Not with anyone in Ohio. This was it. I couldn’t wait anymore. She needed to know, even if it meant we had to wait two months to really be together.
I took a step forward just as she did. My free hand lifted to her cheek.
“Sierra,” I whispered, pausing as I memorized every inch of her face.
“Yes?” she breathed, her eyes searching mine.
“You better bring me back a buckeye.”
I couldn’t do it.
And I’d never been more disappointed in myself.
![Fusion _23.jpg](https://litlife.club/books/269548/read/images/_23.jpg)
I blinked twice at Jeremy’s words. I could’ve sworn he had been on the verge of kissing me or revealing some deep, dark secret. Instead, he’d asked for a freaking nut? A poisonous one, at that? Right then, I could’ve shoved a few poisonous nuts down his throat. My nose burned, and tears threatened to flow.
I stepped back and nodded quickly. “Umm, sure. I’ll put that on my list. Okay, I need to go get ready. See you later!” I said before running into the house.
The way I flung myself onto my bed and buried my face in my pillow was probably dramatic. But I did it anyway. It masked the sobs racking through me. I cried for my stupidity. I cried for the humiliation of yet another near kiss. I cried because the one person who’d never made me cry was making me do just that, and even still, I couldn’t fault him for it.
After tiptoeing around my feelings for him for nearly the entire school year, reading way too much into every move he made, everything he ever said, analyzing his actions to see if it meant anything more, I finally had my answer.
I hadn’t budged an inch outside of the friend-zone, and I was finally realizing I never would.
I was such an idiot. How could I have thought I’d ever be anything but Tod to him? He’d never see me as anything more than the girl who always conceded and gave him the nun-chucks. The girl who didn’t hesitate to spit in her hand and shake, no matter how gross Lexi told me I was. The one who took one look at his pale face and swooped in to save the day, dissecting that frog all by myself so he wouldn’t get sick.
I was the reliable best friend, willing to do anything for the boy she loved.
I was Joey freaking Potter.
No, I was worse than Joey Potter. At least she got to kiss her best friend. Not me. I’d just been reminded that this entire thing was one-sided.
I was just glad I hadn’t told him.
As the tears finally stopped flowing, I resolved then and there that I’d never again let his nearness give me butterflies.
I thought leaving him that summer was going to be the hardest thing I’d ever have to do.
Staying would’ve been so much worse. And, as much as I had been dreading the goodbye, now, it couldn’t come soon enough.
![Fusion _25.jpg](https://litlife.club/books/269548/read/images/_25.jpg)
I was an idiot.
I knew it even before Jenna shoved me and told me that I was one. She’d witnessed the whole ordeal and was none too impressed with how her twin brother had handled himself.
“She was practically begging for you to kiss her! And you ask for a freaking leaf?” she screeched as soon as I walked into our kitchen.
“It’s a nut,” I informed her.
She rolled her eyes. “No, you’re a nut.” Then she put her hands on her hips. “You’re unbelievable. Unbelievable!”
“What do I do, Jenna? What if she doesn’t like me like that? What if I tell her how I feel and then she says she only sees me as a friend. I’d ruin everything.”
She scoffed. “So you’re an idiot, unbelievable, and blind. What a freaking trifecta. Get a clue, Jer. She likes you likes you.”
“Are you two talking about Sierra?”
I jumped at the sound of Lexi’s voice.
“Yep,” Jenna said. “Numb nuts over here doesn’t think she likes him.”
Lexi let out a loud laugh then slapped her hand on the kitchen counter. “You’re kidding me, right?”
Jenna shook her head.
Lexi sobered a little. “You are a numb nuts.”
“Stop talking about my nuts!” I shouted, stomping out of the room.
The sound of their laughter followed me even as I plopped down on my bed and buried my face in my pillow.
As much as I wanted to deny it, they were right. I wasn’t just an idiot. I was a coward. I wasn’t thinking straight, and I was terrified that everything would change the minute I told her how I felt.
But wasn’t that the point? I didn’t want things to stay the same. I wanted them to change—for the better. And how could that happen if I kept my mouth shut and my feelings hidden away? It couldn’t. So, that night, as I got ready, I listened to the sweet, sappy sounds of Boyz II Men, psyching myself up to tell Sierra the truth. My brilliant plan was to get to the party, make a few rounds, and then drag her behind some sand dune far away from everyone else and ask her to be my girlfriend. Sounded perfect, right?
Well, I thought so.
That was before some junior placed a red Solo cup in Sierra’s hand and pointed her towards the keg. She scurried away from me, filling her cup and finding an empty spot in the sand next to a few of her fellow cheerleaders. I sighed and figured it was my fault anyway.
Four beers later—for her, not me—my plan was annihilated thanks to Danny freaking Moyer. When I’d finally made my way back to Sierra, he was sitting next to her, his arm around her shoulders. Jealousy rose within me at the sight of another guy touching her bare skin. Those shoulders were mine. All of a sudden, fierce possessiveness roared, the urge to lay claim surging through my bloodstream. I didn’t want to share Sierra, and the longer I watched them, the angrier I became. It was only a matter of time until I turned into a roid-raged monster whose adrenaline would’ve torn the arms off even the strongest man. I was about to Hulk out for Sierra. Fuck.
“Banks!” he called as I approached. “Where’ve you been hiding this one?”
Sierra let out a giggle, and then she hiccupped. Shit. I should’ve been watching her more closely. Her experience with alcohol had been fairly limited, and I was worried she’d overdone it.
“He doesn’t hide me,” she slurred, shooting me a glare before plastering a drunken smile on her face. “In fact, he doesn’t do anything with me at all. He’s just my best friend, as he’s always been. Little Sierra Sullivan and little Jeremy Banks. Friends forever.”
If I hadn’t known better, I’d have thought she was being sarcastic. Apparently, drunk Sierra was a grumpy one.
“Little?” Danny smirked, enjoying this way too much for my taste.
Her eyes widened, and she shook her head profusely. “Oh, I don’t mean little! At least, not in that sense. You know, this one time, I walked in on—”
I raced over to her and promptly pulled her to her feet, effectively cutting her off. We were probably ten seconds away from a repeat performance of her stellar “Strokin’.” Fuck. That thought made me half hard.